The Random Traveller, and Other Stories

Whenever, whatever

2011-08-11T21:02:00.002-04:00

One of the greatest things about digital cameras is that you can take a gazillion pictures and not worry about wasting film. My mother and I were trekking around some town in the Lake District taking pictures when I shot this gem. I saw the name of the place and thought of a friend of mine with same last name and thought I'd take a picture and send it to her. Little did I know that I'd get more than I bargained for, as my mother was laughing so hysterically that people walking down the street started looking at us like we were crazy. After examining the picture a little closely we could hardly contain ourselves.

Guest Blogger: Neil Adams on supporting live music

2011-07-06T00:33:00.010-04:00

I've written on a number of occassions about my travels as a couchsurfer, staying in good folks' homes for what seems to those who have not experienced such a situation a strange idea. But for those of us who know and understand what CouchSurfing is about, it is more about discovering friends you didn't know you had and forging long lasting bonds with people that would otherwise be extras in your own forsaken movie background.
Neil Adams is one such chap who I happened upon and I can wholeheartedly say that I am better for it. He was a wonderful host, bringing me in to his world of hospitality, English countryside, local sports and music, and what I hope is a longstanding friendship. We both share a passion for music and he brought me into the behind the scenes world of his band The Layers. I was able to catch him shortly afterwards at the Couch Crash Festival in New York City and then last year, between Snowmageddons 1 and 2, Neil and I roadtripped to Kentucky to surf with another Couchsurfer that stayed with him who is like Louisville's music royalty, Brigid Kaelin.
Last year, Neil wrote the following piece about getting out and being a part of the music scene which I have asked him if I could repost here.
*************************************************************
Hi, I’m Neil and I’m deeply honoured to be able to guest briefly in David’s blog. I mention the fact that CouchSurfing has brought some brilliant people into my life – David is one of them. We met when David stayed with me for a few days on his travels in England and we had a terrific time. David came and met the guys in The Layers, put in a sterling performance with my soccer team and proved to be great company. He then proceeded to show just how great a friend he is by driving out to see us gig in New York and then, when I arrived in Washington earlier this year during ‘Snowmageddon’, welcomed me into his home and was my co-driver on a road trip to see friends in Louisville.

It’s for experiences like those that you should definitely check out CouchSurfing, make new friends and have crazy adventures with them. While you’re tapping around on the Internet, check out The Layers too, we’d love some more fans in the US – once we hit a critical mass of fans out there we’ll have no option but to come out and tour!
**************************************************
Low-key adventures in live music.

I realise that in starting a piece of writing with a digression is probably breaking some sort of literary commandment but I am struck, as I title this little passage of ramblings, by the homonymic relationship of low-key and Loki, the Norse trickster god. Low-key and Loki adventures, I imagine, couldn’t be more different...

Although this last week has been very much the former, there’s been evidence of the trickster spirit about this week. The weather, in particular, would seem to have been at the call of some mischievous spirit. Trickster mythology often features a balance, some good and some bad and that would certainly be perspective on the weekend’s gigs. Still, back to some sort of linear narrative...

On Wednesday I popped along to a local open mic evening to meet some friends. It’s one of those events that are sometimes packed, sometimes deserted to the point of eerie. This week was more along the mournfully tolling bell and tumbleweed lines until some of my friends turned up. An old friend of mine kicked off the evening; I sang a little and then made way for Judy. She’s the younger sister of a good friend of mine and is possessed of a voice that could grace stages anywhere in the world. I’m not exaggerating, she’s terrific. As the evening went on we all ended up singing together, the line between audience and performer pretty fuzzy. It wasn’t an epiphany of an evening, just an extremely pleasant evening of making music with friends and being hugely impressed at the talent of people who I see day to day.
It would have been great to have a few more people there to share that with. As a performer, I always feel that I’d like a little bit of an audience, at least. Perhaps I need my ego massaging; perhaps it’s a need to communicate or to feel a part of something. I think that it’s to do with the latter - I really think that music is something that can be shared by a community. I don’t need a huge crowd screaming my name (there must be times when an adoring audience must superficially resemble a lynch mob) but I do enjoy performing a lot more when I feel that it’s entertaining people. I like a bit of banter with a small, appreciative crowd.
I know that I’ve written about this before butI found myself wondering why so many people would stay in of an evening to watch strangers perform on TV talent shows when they could go out and see people in their local communities, sing, dance, act, perform poetry and comedy, present, debate and do all manner of other things – and then meet and talk to those people, join in and get involved. Most of this stuff is going on in every town, free of charge. I know that if you go out to your local open mic there’s a risk of seeing nothing but a bug-eyed hippy poet, an old lady singing wobbly folk songs with a finger in her ear and two slightly stoned teenagers doing a fifteen minute version of ‘Knocking on Heaven’s Door’ and that if there are acts you hate on the TV you can turn over but let’s face it, most people don’t. They sit through the whole thing and then discuss how crap it was the next day at work.
I wonder if it’s the element of risk. We don’t want to be asked to sing along –well, feel free to politely decline. Or we don’t want to risk the performer seeing our expressions when we don’t like what they do? Or is it that we’re just bone idle? Or is it the ‘cool’ issue.
Discuss.
Anyway, give some thought to nipping out to see what’s on down the road. Almost everywhere that I’ve been out to see local musicians perform in their local it’s been a worthwhile and entertaining time.

And on to the weekend’s gigs. On Friday The Layers played at the Green Man festival; more details to follow shortly on the Layers’ blog when I’ve composed something appropriate. I feel honour-bound to mention here how delightful the gang running the Einstein’s Garden stage were – if you’re reading, then thank you, thank you and thrice thank you.
So we had fun, it was wet, we somehow avoided cholera and trench foot. I will expand on the band site, I promise.
There was something else that I picked up on, though, and it’s not just me, that draws me back to the cool issue, above.
Chatting to friends at the festival, we were struck that there were sizeable, enthusiastic crowds in front of stages where what was being performed was not, in our opinions , always that great, either in composition or execution. We can excuse the first on the grounds of taste and the second in that if you love the songs then you don’t notice the mistakes. But not all the time and not all that much.
Actually, it seems to me that people will go and see an act if they’re famous or if the media has held them up as ‘the next big thing’ regardless as to whether they’re that good or not. Some of them are, obviously. Some are really quite poor but still get a much bigger crowd, more money and more kudos than people who are superbly talented but not famous and, crucially, not cool – by some indefinable yardstick.
This quality, though, is simply a marketing invention. It’s like some magic potion that you can sprinkle on anything to make it desirable. Its secret cousin is ‘anti-cool’, formulated in the same laboratory but hushed up, a potion that can be splashed on to anything to make it stink like week-old kitbag.
Well death to cool (I would say that, not cool now, never have been , never will be) – don’t let them control you. Look around you and make up your own mind. And turn off the X factor while you still have one.
Which, in a manner of speaking, brings me on to gig three and a slightly different, if related, point.
The Tourettes played a cricket club barbeque on a day when there simply wasn’t cricket. In the absence of a match, the teams didn’t show up, in spite of the fact that the evening event was supposed to be a fund-raiser for their new pavilion. So we played to a small, friendly crowd.
It was a fun gig to play. We were a little bit over-relaxed in our approach to performance at times, a little improvisation here, a few ‘jazz’ moments while we laughed at ourselves mid-verse but the audience were smiling and asking for more and we felt connected.
The people in the bands that I’m privileged to play in and their loved ones and all the people that help and support us are dear friends to me. More than that, they are my family, my brothers and sisters. The best parts about playing with bands are not restricted to the performances at all. It’s the camaraderie of travelling to a gig, the planning, the rehearsals, the laughter that we share. My life would be so much the lesser without them.
It’s the same when you’re part of a sports team or a troupe of actors.
So I circle back to that first issue. More of us should go out, sing, play create. Make music, comedy, poetry, theatre. Talk about big ideas. Get out from in front of what’s being marketed at us and make our own entertainment – because as we do, the connections between us grow and enrich us.
This might seem like a trivial issue when the world can look as if it’s on the brink of collapse but I really don’t think that it is. I think that getting together to create is the most human thing that we do and that without it, what would we be saving the world for anyway?
So there you have it: the adventure starts here. If that isn’t worth singing about, I don’t know what is.

The Random Traveller/Traveler

2011-07-05T11:34:00.005-04:00

Language is a funny thing: full of conventions, rules, stipulations, exceptions, contradictions and a rich lush history. It is amazing what we can find out about language through the words and spellings. I teach my students to look at unfamiliar words and see if there are parts of words that seem similar to others. I teach them Latin and Greek roots and their meanings. I get into it.

Spelling has always been important to me, however in my rush to get ideas down, I may ignore misspellings only to hope that upon proofreading I am able to catch any errors. I teach my students that spelling is vital, but getting your thoughts down is what is most important. All the energy spent on editing can come later. That works in theory, but not always perfectly.

Spellchecking tools have made us lazy and often do not catch mistakes since our language is full of strange words in both spelling and meaning. In addition to all this murky soup we have to navigate, wonderful Noah Webster decided to take it upon himself to make some changes in the spelling of words to make America's English decidedly American. When you are the author of a dictionary you end up having quite a bit of influence on language like that. Colour ----> Color.

However, the history of English, and living languages in general, is more like an evolution of spelling. If you look at historical documents or literature from several centuries ago you find alternate spellings for words you recognize. Until you get a codified set of spellings or rules ( a la Academie francaise) spellings, pronunciations and usage changes like the path of a river. While the British may have been bemoaning America's bastardization of their mother tongue, scholars had been debating the use of -or and -our for some time.
Check out this post from wisegeek.com:
http://www.wisegeek.com/why-does-british-spelling-keep-the-u-in-words-like-colour.htm

What got me thinking about this today is this: I noticed recently that my spelling of "Traveller" is essentially correct, however, it is the British spelling of the word, not American. I find it funny that took me several years to find this out and never really thought about it. Spellcheck didn't find it. I came across the differences quite by accident. Being an American, am I going to change it? Nah, I've kinda gotten attached to it. I think it gives it a certain international flavour.

Giddy

2011-03-07T23:45:00.002-05:00

I am giddy with excitement -- another epic trip is starting to go from just talk to actual planning! My wonderful Mum is going to take me to the UK for a 2 week trip -- Half with her and half on my own. Can't wait! Let the research begin.

Fruit Loops: The following is a piece I wrote for my students a few years back. I was reminded of it recently and posted decided to post it now.

2010-08-22T23:01:00.003-04:00

Cereal and Fruit Loops

I’m not one who regularly eats breakfast in the morning, although I used to have it every morning when I was growing up. My mother used to get healthy cereals that did not have added sugar, but I still liked them. I would eat Cheerios, Kix, Raisin Bran, and Rice Krispies. When it was cold outside, my mother would make us oatmeal or scrambled eggs. But once a year, or so it seemed, she would buy us a treat; Fruit Loops.

I loved Fruit Loops. I loved the colors and the flavors. I liked how each piece stayed crunchy in the milk. I enjoyed the sweetness that the milk became. In fact, where I normally left the milk that was left over in the bowl, I would either ask for more Fruit Loops to sop it up, or drink the milk from the bowl just to savor it all the more.

I would even alter the way I would eat the cereal. Usually, I would just scoop up and eat up the whole spoonful without really paying any attention to what was going in my mouth. However with Fruit Loops, I would pick out a color and eat only that color first. Then I would pick out another color and eat that all up. I would repeat the process until my favorite color was left. Sometimes, at first, I would try to see how many of one color I could scoop up. By the time I would get down to just one color left, I would only eat one piece at a time.

Last night, I came home from food shopping and brought home a special surprise: a box of Fruit Loops. At night, in bed, I kept thinking of having them in the morning. When I got up, I poured a bowl for me – and one for my son. I felt proud as I sat there sharing something that was dear to me as a kid.

Gotchya

2010-08-14T22:03:00.002-04:00

Ok, so I've been put in my place:
Me: Nat, you're weird.
Nat: You know, it's all your fault.
Me: My fault? How is it my fault?
Nat: Because you helped make me. THAT'S why!

Maralynn Logan-Brown

2010-05-20T13:46:00.002-04:00

I've written about loss here before -- anything from losing your mind, a familiar object or the loss of parents - in my case a stepfather and father within a year of each other. Loss is a funny thing because no matter what it is that is gone, your reaction to it is often unequal to its perceived importance. Grief is often unfair, sneaky, and patient.
The death of Maralynn Logan-Brown last night wasn't really all that shocking. She had not been able to come back to work as we had all hoped this year and had been giving it the good fight. She had ups and downs, but she had her faith and friends and family there to be with her. She had her own blog set up where we could get regular updates on how things were. Even though she wasn't at work, we were all still connected to her. We knew what was coming.
That is why I was quite confused by my reaction to the news of her death: it wasn't a surprise.
For me, though, I felt the accumulation of all the loss I have had to deal with over the last few years and my own mortality after a car accident I was in were a police officer told me he usually didn't see survivors. I looked at the announcement of her passing and immediately began to lose the understanding of the words I read. I wept.
But I was not alone. Maralynn's presence on this planet was huge. She was more than a wife, mother, friend, teacher. From the moment I met her 6 years ago when I first came to this school I felt like I knew her all my life. I felt that when we sat down next to each other in the staff lounge it would be like we were sitting down next to each other at the dinner table, fireside, or some event or outing. I always felt good when I was around her and I always felt better after seeing her. No matter what.
Walking into my classroom today was up there with one of the hardest things I've had to face and I didn't do it very gracefully. That being said, I have to say that my students are wonderful beings themselves. They are very sympathetic, empathetic and fiercely loyal. I asked them to write their thoughts and memories about Mrs. LB. The following are those comments they wrote:

I bet Mrs. LB is smiling in heaven and we will always her.
I remember we once had a gym teacher in [another school]. He was nice, but not like Mrs. LB
She was always there for us in our troubles.
She would always let us have a good laugh.
I'll always remember the afro she had.
She may be gone, but not to me.
I've known Mrs. LB since second grade.
I forgot what her smile is like (sigh)
I remember how she would always cheer us on if we are having a hard time. Also she would spend time and play with us. I hope she rests in peace.
I thought Mrs. LB was the sweetest soul in the world.
When Mrs. LB played with us I could always feel that special place in my heart.
I'll never forget her.
When I heard Mrs. LB died, I broke to pieces, but I'll always remember Mrs. LB.
Mrs. LB always cheered us on. I loved having er as a PE teacher. Her smile is unforgettable.
Mrs. LB was the most kindest person and most playful person. She is always fun to be around. She will always be missed.
When I came in fourth grade and met Mrs. LB, [we] got along well. She was fun and cool and I never heard her scream. she was so peaceful and she died in peace. She did not deserve this. We will always love you.
Sometimes she would play with us and she would make up some new tagging games just for us. She would also play very joyous music and we would dance a lot. [accompanied with a picture of students dancing]
Cancer may have struck her but she knew what would happen. I'm sure she went down peacefully and with a smile.
I've known Mrs. LB since kindergarten. I remember in 2nd grade that once when I was sad and my uncle died, she cheered me up and said, "Don't be sad. I'm here!"
Mrs. LB always was fun and cool. She always took us outside for free time or to play fun games like kickball and she always let us pick what games we wanted to play.
Mrs. LB never said no to any of our new games. She always let us play and be the kids we are. Mrs. LB loved to see us play and run. She always had us play a new game every day.
She never said no to us when we were wanting to play a game and she always kept a smile on her face.
I was her little helper on play day or field day...
Mrs. LB never yelled and she would stay calm. She let us play any game for a warm up. You could talk to her when you needed help. Most importantly, she was special to us.
I remember when I was new last year. She took me in as one of her own. We used to always call her Grandma LB. If we had a bad day, she would always find some type of way to cheer us up. I loved her.
Mrs. LB was a well respected person who everyone that knew her cared for her. Even people who didn't know her cared for her and knew she was a great P.E. teacher.
Mrs. LB made my experience at [school] a great time. I will never forget how nice a person she was.
Mrs. LB always cheered us on and she was a great person to know.
We always used to do gymnastics and with that, we went on the ropes and the "cheese." I always got dizzy on the "cheese"!
she was caring, playful, and she always made P.E. feel like a home away from home.
Mrs. LB was the nicest person I have ever known. She was never the mean type.
Why could a disease like this take such a wonderful person like Mrs. LB?
Mrs. LB helped me when I was hurt so bad and those stupid doctors couldn't help her when she was hurt.
She would always play and laugh with us. [accompanied with a picture of the gymnasium]
Mrs. LB knew how to explain games very nicely so that it looked and sounded fun. And she was always enthusiastic about playing with us. She was fun!
Mrs. Elby went to heaven. I'm sure she has white wings and a halo.
Mrs. LB has been here since i was in pre-kindergarten. And for a lot of people, maybe kindergarten or something -- But she'd always put on a smile whenever we went to P.E.
Mrs. LB was always playful and when we made up a new game, she let us play it right away. Sometimes she even brought music in for us. It was fun with her.

Random Conversation: Selfish Drivers

2010-05-06T21:29:00.003-04:00

Car passes us on the right in the shoulder:
Nat: Look at that car! Is that person being mean?
Dad: No. Selfish, perhaps, but not mean. Also dangerous.
Nat: [says like a tongue twister] Selfish shellfish. You know shellfish are not even fish! Selfish?
Dad: You know, selfish, like self, meaning you/yourself and -ish, meaning, like that. It means you only think of yourself.
Nat: Oh, that's what that means. I always wondered about that. I thought it was a kind of fish; a selfish. I thought it was a rude kind of fish and we just called people selfish because they would act like it.

Family Life, 2010: Questions/Comments From Students

2010-05-04T18:52:00.003-04:00

Yes, it is that time again. Time to teach fifth graders family life. Call it Sex Education, Lite for 10 year olds. It is a quick survey of a child's journey into puberty and their changing bodies and roles. They didn't have this unit when I was in elementary school, and quite frankly, I'm not sure how I would have reacted to the information that I am required to cover. I must say, though, even though I have taught this unit almost a dozen times, I am still sometimes caught off guard by the knowledge some of the students come in with, misconceptions they have, and questions they ask. Puberty can be an awesome and scary time for kids as I am sure you, the reader, would agree. Strange things happen to your body and quite often they happen without anyone to let you in on the whole process. If you are lucky, you have someone to guide you.
This year is special for me because not only am I a teacher this time around, I am a parent of a fifth grader. All these years I have been presenting this information to kids at school and now it is invading the home front. As the teacher I have plodded through the predictable and unpredictable questions and topics that come up, but it is different when you hear it from your child. It can be quite sobering, if not thought provoking.
And it can be downright quite funny!
So here is another round of questions and comments from students. I am presenting them here because I believe it is important for parents to know what kids are experiencing. The responses here are from the students, written down and handed to the teacher to address where possible. They are anonymously written and screened/answered appropriately according to the guidelines set out by the school system. I am presenting them here with some editorial licence: I am correcting for grammar and spelling where appropriate because I do not wish that to take away from the thoughts and questions they have. This list may be long, but I have also weeded out duplicate or similar responses.
Boys:

What is the scrotum?
When do men finally finish growing?
What does it mean when the penis fills with blood? Will it leave a wet mark or something?
I learned that going through puberty is normal.
I heard on the news about child abuse where a boy was getting beat with a belt then the child yells, "Child abuse!" then the mother says, "I will give you something to yell about," and kept on spanking him and harder.
Where does sperm come from?
People say if you get hit in your nuts, you can't have babies!
The bladder is made of the foods you eat, right?
When does the woman's body stop breast feeding?
Is it possible to have three testicles?
Do you shave your penis when you're older?
Why will we be talking about changes in the bodies of both genders?
Does deodorant kill bacteria?
Does the man's sperm go through the penis into the woman's body to fertilize the egg?
I know that the woman's egg is bigger than the man's sperm.
Is there a minimum age to get married?
Puberty is when you grow and get hair on your body.
Why does pee turn yellow?
I learned that you shouldn't embarrass anyone (mostly girls) about what they are going through.
If you haven't taken a shower in a couple of months, will you have a lot of acne?
If you didn't take care of your body, what would happen?
Do some people marry just to not have to take on responsibilities?
Can a baby go through puberty?
What is the sack underneath your penis and what is in it?
Will acne spread?
When periods start, will girls be pregnant?
What do growth hormones do to your body?
How do people get strange thoughts like suicide or they get a sickness just because they take drugs?
Does a woman's breasts have milk when they are born?
If you squish a testicle, will it break?
What age does sperm come out your penis?
Can a girl have a penis?
What would happen if you drank semen?
Is saying someone is fat, is that sexual harassment?
Why does the brain send [a signal] to know you're growing up?
What are periods?
Do girls grow hair on their vagina?
How many hormones do you have?
I learned there is more to the reproductive system than urine.
Can you grow your penis in a different place?
What is a wet dream and when does it happen?
Can a boy have a period?
Why do you get wet dreams?
Does acne come more to girls or boys?
Can your growth spurt be late?
Is it possible to be half boy and half girl?
What if you have never had an erection and don't go through puberty until you are 21?
How do midgets get so small? Do they stay small or shrink?
What color is the semen that comes out of the penis when it gets firm?
Do you have puberty when you're 40 and up?
Why do we talk about girl stuff when this is a boy class?
If the penis is just flesh, what would happen if it was cut off? I mean, would it bleed because we saw the inside of the penis on that video and I didn't see blood.
What is a condom?
Are the penis and the vagina the same thing?
Is it true that for girls, when they get pregnant, they don't have periods?
How does hair grow under your armpits?
Why are most people going though puberty change at different times?
Why do erections happen?
Can puberty come at age 8 for boys?
Why do we grow hair on our penis?
Do men get pregnant?
Are we going to learn about virginia? [not edited!]
How many growth spurts can one have and how many?
Aren't we too young to learn about "sex"?
Can you have a small penis when you're an adult?
Can a girl sexually harass a boy?
What is the difference between humping and sex?
Why don't we talk about sex in this class?
I learned that a REAL friend has to be TRUSTWORTHY.
Why do men tend to go to work and not clean the house or anything?
Do animals do the same thing we talked about?
How does milk come out of human ladies?
Is there a way to alter a child before birth?
Why do the hairs on your arms stand up when you are cold? Because I've experienced that like, once or twice.
Who were the first human beings in the world? A long time ago, how did people get out babies?
Is it possible to have a penis and a vagina?
Is it possible for a man to have a vagina?
If a man has his penis cut off, how can he use the bathroom?
You should not tease a girl about her period.
What part of the vagina does the sperm go in to make the egg and get her pregnant?
Does the penis have bones?
Is it possible for a man to be pregnant?
If a boy does not have sperm and he has sex with a girl, will she get pregnant?
Do some people grow hair on their penis?
Do girls have wet dreams?
Do girls grow hair on their vagina?
Why can't we talk about condoms?
How does a vagina grow?
Why are there millions of sperm inside a man's body, but only one ova is sent inside the girl's body?
Why can't puberty just happen overnight?
If you are having sex with a female who is about to have a baby, do two babies come out?

Wow, and that was with some culling of the cards! Now on to the girl's cards:

Who does the baby come from: the boy or the girl?
Where does the baby come from? The uterus or the vagina?
What is perspiration?
If a girl is on her period and she has sex, will she get pregnant?
If a tampon gets lost in the vagina, where will it go?
How do you know when you're about to have your period?
I like pie, do you?
Are we going to see what a boy's thing looks like in this class?
How do you use a pad?
Why do women have a vagina? What do you use it for?
Why when you get older boys like girl's boobs and like to stare at butts?
What should I do if there is a rapist?
What if you ask someone for a dollar or something and he or she says I'll give you a dollar if you let me touch you?
If you have a friend and she wants to have sex with him, what do we say to that friend?
Do boys have a period?
What do we do if we really really don't want to see stuff that you show us? Do we have to see it or talk about it?
Does it hurt when the baby is growing?
I don't get the menstruation part.
This is sooo awkward...
What if you are a minor and you wanna have sex with a boy that is 25 or something? Is it called rape even if you want it?
Do girls have erections?
When the penis gets straight when he was next to a girl, does it do that because the mind want the penis to go into the vagina?
Why can boys take off their shirts in front of everyone but girls can't? I mean, we all know what we all look like.
I am grossed out.
Why do you not have bags for throwup?
Why does semen mix with sperm?
I woke up 2 days ago and I was wet. It was not pee or sweat. I was sticky and wet.
Why do we have to know boy stuff?
That was plain old nasty. Nasty Nasty Nasty.
What triggers the boy to have erections?
Do you know the difference of peeing in the bed or having a erection?
What happens when you have sex on your period?
Do you start to get meaner to others?
What if you have your period and you bleed in the pool? What should you do?
What age does your period stop?
Can your period start at any age?
What about panty liners? Are they good to use like pads for the first time?
What do boys use to stop wet dreams?
How long does your period last?
Will you have a period during the night?
How long can you leave your pad on your underwear?
How does the body happen to make twins?
How old do you usually stop your period?
What if you are at school and you don't have pads?
I am so scared about this.
This is so gross!
This is weird. ewwww
This was an interesting class. I learned something new.
I am emotionally scared! Thanks for making that happen!
Lalalalalalala hahahaha Happy Day

Well there you go. Did you learn anything? Did anything surprise you? Did anything remind you of when you went through puberty? Did anything make you wince, laugh, cry? I'd love to hear what experiences you might have to share!

Random Conversation: Inventing Cows

2010-04-29T20:06:00.005-04:00

Noah: I'm glad cows were invented, or we would never have milk.
Nat: You're wrong. What about goat milk? Sheep?
Noah: Oh yeah. But really, who would put goat milk in cereal? Gross.
Dad: Right. By the way, who invented cows anyway?
Nat: G-d, of course.
Noah: Who invented G-d?
Dad: Interesting question there.
Noah: Who invented G-d's grandmother also?

Random Conversation on line @ Jim's Steaks on South Street

2010-04-26T15:58:00.003-04:00

Him: Hey look, it's one of those new one dollar coins. [shows to Her]
Her: Where'd you get that?
Him: In some change earlier. I didn't realize it was a dollar at first.
Her: That's Zachary Taylor. I didn't realize they were finished with the quarters. I think I still need a few of them.
Him: I thought the dollar coins all had Susan B. Anthony on them.
Her: I thought so too, but that's a president. They must be doing something with these too.
Him: Yeah. [looks over coin and hands it to her for inspection]
Her: I'm pretty sure he wasn't the first president, but he was right up there, one of the first few at least.

Video of Student Reciting Pi to 1000 digits

2010-03-14T21:09:00.005-04:00

For 2009's Pi Day (March 14) I had challenged my students to see how many digits of pi they could recite. I said, in a thinking out loud but not really directed to anyone voice, "Wouldn't it be cool to see how many digits of pi someone can recite." On Pi Day, a girl in my math class recited off 20 digits of pi, then was followed by several others who pushed it into the 30's, 40's and 50's. When the 50 digit threshold was reached, several students kept it going. If I remember correctly, we had over 2/3 of the entire 5th grade reciting over 20 digits of pi. Soon after one kid approached 150 I sensed a slow down in enthusiasm, so I bet them that if anyone recited 314 digits of pi, I would dye my hair blond. I thought that it was a safe and ridiculous number to reach, so I felt pretty confident that it wouldn't happen. Along came one student who pointed his finger in my face and told me I was going down. The gauntlet was thrown.
Juan, this video was long in getting posted, but is a tribute to you, your drive and tenacity, and just plain awesomeness.

Conversation Between Two Students

2010-03-04T00:00:00.002-05:00

J: I like to do dangerous things at home.

K: You'd probably jump off a bridge.

J: I said dangerous, not stupid. Besides, I don't even have a bridge at home!

Why don't we do it in the road?

2009-06-29T22:09:00.006-04:00

Dad: [singing out loud, but to himself]
Why don't we do it in the road?
Why don't we do it in the road?
No one will be watching us,
Why don't we do it in the road?
Nat: DAD?!!!
Dad: What?
Nat: DAD?!! You know!
Dad: I know? I know what?
Nat: That song! You know what that song means! . . .Don't you?
Dad: What song?
Nat: You know! Why don't we do IT...!!!
Dad: Huh? IT? What are you talking about?
Nat: IT! You know, doing IT! The song is talking about doing IT!
Dad: Uh, that's not what I'm talking about!
Nat: No? What are you talking about?
Dad: First off, IT could be anything. They don't mention what IT is. They could be talking about thumb wrestling, for all I know.
Noah: Thumb wrestling! That's silly! Why would you want to thumb wrestle in the middle of the road?
Nat: Why would they want to do IT in the middle of the road? That's what I'm talking about.
Noah: Yeah, it does seem like a dumb thing to do, right?
Dad: No, no, no. It is not like that.
Nat: Well, what do you think it is about?
Dad: Dancing!
Nat and Noah: Dancing?!!!
Dad: Yeah, dancing. Haven't you heard the saying, "Dance like no one is watching?"
Nat and Noah: No! [laughing hysterically]
Dad; Yeah, that's why they're saying, "No one will be watching us..." You want to dance like no one is watching!
Noah: You mean like this?!!! [dances very silly while two people walk by and stare]
Nat: Um, exactly Noah! [head gestures towards the onlookers]
Noah: [dances even sillier]
Dad: That's the spirit!

(with my apologies to the Beatles!)

Thinking of Iran and China

2009-06-15T22:45:00.002-04:00

I remember Tienanmen Square.
I remember the video that so hauntingly shows the single man in front of the tank.
I remember the sinking feeling of doom and the disintegration of hope in the spark of Democracy.
I think of Iran.
And the random man felled by a pro-government projectile.
And the smiling leader who feigns fortitude and normalcy.
The world watches as it flinches from the memory of that sinking feeling.

And from the freedom of my home, it is with bittersweet brotherhood I write these thoughts for all to see, knowing that in the very places where support might most be appreciated, it would also most likely be blocked.

A letter from a student is better than any kind of validation

2009-06-01T23:58:00.006-04:00

I just got a letter from a former student. It caught me off guard as I read it walking through the hallway in our school's office. I try not to get sentimental or emotional at work, but this letter choked me up. You never know what little things you do affect those around you. I keep a lot of the notes I get from my students, but this one is going in a special place for when I am feeling at the end of my rope. I will post the letter below, changing some of the names in it to maintain confidentiality as much as possible. I am not editing for spelling or grammar. That is not important here. What is important is that I am grateful that she thought enough about me and our experience that she took the time and effort to write to me. I am very touched:

May 24, 2009
Hi Mr. Selvin,
It’s been a little while since I was 10 and in your 5th grade class. It was your first year at [the school where I work, WTP], and you were the first male teacher I ever had. The first time I ever met you was during the summer right before school was about to start. I had been at [WTP], helping out teachers get ready for school. I was so anxious, yet nervous at the same time to meet you. As a normal 5th grader would, I kept wondering, “What if he’s really strict? What if he doesn’t like me? What if none of my friends are in that class?” I remember, walking down and seeing an unfamiliar face walking towards me and I asked, “Are you Mr. Selvin”, and you replied “Yep, your Dalia, right?? I think I have you in my class”. I was so surprised that you already knew my name and school hadn’t even started! I already like him I thought to myself.
Now, I currently go to school at [BHS], and am going on my 10th grade year here. This year, I had the privilege of being on [BHS]’s pom team, who won first place in the county in Division 1. So far I have successfully gotten straight A’s throughout this whole year, and am doing best to continue the hard work. High school is nothing like I thought it would be. I thought all the teachers were going to be really strict, and being a freshman, I thought I’d get pushed around a lot. It’s almost the exact opposite. The teachers I’ve had this year have been some of the nicest most generous teachers, with whom many, I’ve developed good friendships with. Completing all 3 years in middle school, I’d love to come back to [WTP] and tell your 5th graders about the whole experience.
Mr. Selvin, you are the one teacher I have shared the most memorable experiences with, which is why I wanted to write to you. Everyday, at about 2:30 when I’m passing [WTP], I look up to the window remembering what it was like to be in 5th grade. My mind begins to flash back to all those times as if it were yesterday.
I remember when you first showed us that game boggle. After that, I fell in love with playing it. I could never forget the talent show of 2005 when Aliya Lydia, Kira, and I , all did the number 2 pencils skit with you. I always wondered if you ever kept the pencil that I had made that you wanted keep, so you could show it to your students the next year.
That year, after we took our fall pictures and we had gotten them back, you had called us up one by one to ask if we were going to buy them. My picture, I hated because I thought I looked like a boy because my hair was pulled back and my head was big. When you saw it you asked why I wasn’t getting it because you thought in fact, I looked very nice. I just wanted you to know that, you telling me that meant a lot to me because as a child, and even now, I am very self-conscious about myself.
During the time when we were talking about civil rights, I brought in a bible that had been my great grandmothers. It had gotten burned when somebody had tried to burn her house down, and she grabbed it before she escaped. My dad was unsure about letting me take it in to school because he thought I might break it because it was so fragile. I begged him to let me show you, because it was something that was special to my family, and I couldn’t help but want to share it with you because I knew you would grasp the importance of it.
I’m not sure if your 5th graders now still have to write the poem book, like we did, but I enjoyed doing it. That was the first time I learned about cinquain poems. One of mines that you liked in particular was called “Snow”. It went…
Snow
Cold, breezy
Rolling, falling, piling
Finally it melts away
Gone?

You told me you liked the last part that said “gone?” because we do wonder if it’s really gone or not. When we first got the assignment that we had to write a poem, I wasn’t very thrilled, but after that, I developed a likeness for it, and now writing poetry is one of my favorite hobbies.
Aside of all those times, you have taught me some of the most valuable lessons on life than anyone has ever given me. At the end of year about this time, I remember you telling us a story about these heavenly gods, and an average man who wanted to be like them. One day the man asked the gods if he could join them and be popular like they are. They said to him, he could join them, but if he didn’t he would have to have a sword hanging over his head, held by just a measly thread. Although I didn’t understand the story that much then, I now understand the reality of it. The more popular you are or try to be, the more you’re a victim of something bad happening to you. This happens a lot in high school because the more popular or well known you are, the more there are people subject to not like you, even if you don’t know them. Rumors get easily passed around, leaving you to deal with a lot of drama. I often think back to that story when in situations like that where I’m the average guy wanting to be with the gods.
This letter is just to show all my appreciation for you and all that youv’e done for me. You prepared me well for middle school so I thank you for that. Continue being the wonderful teacher that you are. I hope yo’ve influenced many of your other students, like you’ve don me. I’ll stop by one day to say hello. If I don’t see you before schools out, I wish you a great rest of the year, and many m ore.
Sincerely,

Random Conversation

2009-05-16T13:40:00.004-04:00

N2: Stop that, you're annoying me.
N1: Stop what? I'm not doing anything.
N2: Yes you are! You just moved your drink closer to me and I don't like that!
N1: I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't do anything.
Dad: You know you did something. Your brother has asked you to stop and has told you what he doesn't like about your actions. You need to respect that.
N:1 I didn't do anything.
N:2 Yes you did!
Dad: Look, just ignore her; she's trying to get your goat.
N:2 Goat? I don't even have a goat! How can she be trying to get my goat?
N:1 Goat? That's hilarious! What am I going to do with a goat?
Dad: (shakes his head)

When Pigs Sneeze

2009-05-04T19:21:00.005-04:00

The following is an actual conversation between two students in my class today (names are changed):

Pierre: Who made Swine Flu?
Erin: Nobody. It's a virus -- it's a flu.
Pierre: Who do you think made up the name Swine Flu, then.
Erin: Nobody made it up -- it is a flu that pigs get.
Pierre: Then why do they call it Swine Flu? Did someone just give it a funny name?
Erin: No, swine is another name for pig. Probably is like Latin or some other old language. We don't use the word anymore.
Pierre: Oh, so do you get it if a pig sneezes on you?
Erin: Sneezes on you? That's ridiculous! When is a pig gonna sneeze on you? You know they closed a school around here.
Pierre: Yeah, I know.
Erin: So do you think that pigs were running around the school? No!

Family Life, part 3: Round Up

2009-04-29T23:14:00.003-04:00

This has been an interesting round for Family Life. This year the boys asked thoughtful questions and also taught me a few things. It never ceases to amaze me to hear/read some of the things they come up with. The language they are using must be indicative of the environment and culture that surrounds them. While some of the questions they ask are standard and predictable, some of them are nothing short of bizarre and off-the-wall! This installment includes the wrap-up of some of the loose ends of the unit and also questions brought up when we had an RN come in as a guest speaker to talk about the birth process --from after conception through birth. We also discussed the Swine Flu a bit, as the school system gave us our own bottle of hand sanitizer along with a public release statement about the way to prevent or reduce the risk of spreading the virus. (what next, condoms?) There aren't any new words or terminology included in this installment, but there are some questions that did test my ability to keep focused and not lose it! Again, please note that for the most part, I have edited the responses to de-emphasize spelling and grammar issues (unless it adds to the interest of the response) so the content of the material here is the focus. For one thing, I have noticed that the kids spell penis many different ways, so in many cases, I have left the spelling the way it is. See how many different ways you can find!

After erections, when your ejaculate and have orgazam, is your penis soft?
What is a G-string?
Is the word pussy slang for vagina?
What does sexually active mean?
Do you get an erection, ejaculation and then orgasm and what are the differences?
There's a hockey team that is called the Washington CAPITALS and they are having a Beard-a-Thon
Is there a way you can shave the pubic area?
Is your peanis hurting a part of puberty?
How can a peenis get excited.
How do your balls get hard when you see a hot girl?
Can you die from the flu?
Can you get the flu if you touch the tissue box and someone else gets up and touches it too?
How do you shave the penis hair?
I know that the same thing happens to dogs like the erection.
If you are gay, how do you have kids with a man? but I'm not gay.
Does it hurt if your penis gets an erection and your penis gets bent?
Where do babies come out: the vagina or the butt hole?
Do girl's vaginas have sweat?
Why do girl's boobs grow bigger than ever?
Why do boys want to see girls boobs?
If a girl sees something exciting, do their vaginas get big?
Why do boys bodies have a penas?
Do boys eyes get big when you are going through puberty?
Is sperm the white stuff in your penis?
How are triplets born?
Don't eggs take 10 months after having sex?
What if your balls start burning because of soap?
What is a tampon?
If the girl uses all of her eggs, can she still get pregnant?
If an animal's blood gets in your body, can you still get HIV?
When men lose their hair, can it grow back?
How do twins happen when 1 egg [is there]?
What produces hormones?
Can you have sex while having an erection?
Why do some men have men boobs?
If your balls get cut, can sperms leak out? [my personal favorite question here!]
Why do some women have beards and mustaches?
What if you accidentally pee in a girl's vagina while having sex?
What is a dooshbag?
Can you have only one testicle?
Why are babies bald when they are born?
As you grow and you have hair on your penits, do you cut off the hair there?
When does puberty become the strongest? At what age do most of the things happen?
If you have sex before the HIV has shown up in your blood, because it takes about 6 months to show up in the blood, will you get HIV?
On which part of the body do you grow hair the most?
Can you force sperm out like pee?
What happens when you . . . have sex when you still have the baby in your stomach?
How do you ejaculate the sperm?
Will we grow hair in our pubic area?
when semen mixes with the egg, a baby is made, right?
How would you know it is not pee if the water broke?
What is the cervix?
What does it mean to get the tubes tied?
Can the baby still be in the woman's stomach if it died?
Do twins come out at the same time?
Can the baby eat anything?
What do you need a C-section for?
Does the woman feel weird when the baby is coming out?
What if the baby is too fat and cracks the mama's rib cage?
What if the baby is born butt first?
What is the string in the baby's belly button?
What is labor?
So, the baby comes out in 40 weeks?
Why can't you remember anything when your a baby? (in the stomach)
How do you know when the baby is full when it's eating?
If there are twins, where would they be?
Isn't it true that sometimes when a baby is born that after the mom could get sick?
How long does it take to recover? [from labor]
What does labor mean and what happens to the woman?

Family Life, Continued...

2009-04-25T16:27:00.002-04:00

Note: This post is the second installment of questions from 5th graders taking the Family Life unit. I am presenting this material because I believe it is important to understand what our kids know, don't know, and wonder about. These are actual questions and comments that they have written down on note cards during the unit. While many of these responses are amusing on the surface, they must highlight the seriousness and importance of giving children the appropriate information according to their age and needs in order to make healthy and informed choices. It is also informational for us as adults, too. Several pop culture terms have surfaced that have taken us by surprise. The previous Family Life posting referenced the term ski. This posting will reveal another term that to unsuspecting parents/adults may find a bit disturbing when I explain its meaning. Some of the information in this post may contain explicit language. Be forewarned.
This brings me to another point. How do I address these questions to the kids? That is a good question. First, I must say that I am practiced in the Art of the Straight Face. That is not to say that I don't loose it once in a while when I get a question that is unbelievably bizarre, but for the most part, what the kids write is fairly routine. Most of it I can handle or deflect. When it comes to questions regarding the act of sex, family planning issues, or other taboo subjects, I calmly acknowledge the question and tell them that it might be better if they get that information from their family, doctor, or (insert appropriate person). Once in a while there is a question that is disturbing, to which I have resources to draw upon. I will not be addressing how I have answered any of these questions here directly, sorry. Again, in MOST cases, I will edit these questions only for clarity. I do not want these postings to be more about spelling and grammar, however there will be a few places where I leave the spelling as it is because, well, you'll see.
Enjoy! These are from the boys:

Why do you throw up when you get hit in the penis?
Is it possible for a woman to get a mustache?
What if you tell an adult if you're touched on your private parts and they adults don't believe you?
What is semen?
When you go through changes, will we get mad sometimes?
Will the hair go away when we get older?
What happens when a girl gets sexually excited?
What does beating your meat mean?
When semen hits the surface, doesn't it get hard? Because when ski hits the ground, someone said it hardens. <-----Editor's note and explicit warning! Here's is an eye-opener! In reference to yesterday's comment about semen being called ski, again we were wondering what this one meant about semen hardening. Thanks to an astute staff member, we found out there is a Soulja Boy song called Crank Dat Dance, where a certain term is used: Superman that hoe. Here are part of the lyrics: Soulja Boy Off In This Hoe/Watch me Crank ItWatch me Roll/Watch me Crank Dat Soulja Boy/Then Super Man Dat Hoe. So what does this have to do with semen, or ski, hardening? This is the connection: Apparently, Super man is a verb and this action is to fuck a passed out female from behind, pull out and come on her back, and use it to paste a sheet on her back so that when she wakes up, she has a superhero "cape" on her back. Did you know this? I didn't.
Which part of the body creates sweat?
Why do girls grow earlier than boys?
When you are kicked in you penis, why does it make you want to throw up?
When you have sex, how do you know if it's a boy or a girl. <-----Editor's note: I just read a funny posting about Senetor Al Franken. In it, Al is going on a date and his dad figures he needs to tell him about the birds and the bees. When he gets to the part of the female anatomy, Al looks at his dad in surprise and says (and I may be paraphrasing), "What? Girls don't have penises?" Of course, his father became distressed, and of course, Al was just joking.
When you have sex, do you get sex diseases?
Do girl's vaginas have hair?
How does sperm come out when you have sex?
Do we have sperm in us now?
Why do girls have breasts?
When you see something exciting and your balls/penis gets big, is it called horny?
When you are kicked in the balls, do the testes hurt?
Can an egg get to a lady anytime or is there a certain time?
Does puberty start mostly early or mostly late?
I thought kidneys cleaned the pubic area.
Is another name for panty liners a thong?
What is the difference between a training bra and bra?
Doesn't having sex with girls with HIV or AIDS give you their disease?
How do you ejaculate the sperm?
When a girl first has her period, if she uses a tampon, can she die?
Why do we go through puberty?
Do we go through puberty when we are adults?
One time my mom told me that one woman on the radio kissed another woman on the cheek. That was weird!
Do animals go through puberty?
Does your penis stay bigger after an erection?
Is there an egg that comes from both ovaries? (I think he meant do both ovaries send out an egg at the same time)
Why does blood come to the penis and make it harden?
Why do we have sex?
Is there any type of protective gear for when you have sex? 'cause I've heard of condums.
Does it hurt a girl when she gets hit in the vagina?
Does it hurt a girl if you stick your dick in the vagina?
If the Tampax gets stuck, will she die?
This one is unedited: If the penus is in a girl's butt, is it true [that afterwards] she gets loose vowels, which is she has to doo doo?

These are from the girls:

Is it true that you need to have sex to have babies?
What if you caught someone having sex, like your parents or someone and they didn't know. What do you do? (but it never happened to me).
What do you do if someone is abusing you?
Are we talking about body parts or sex?
What is it called if a boy or girl takes a pic then sends it to a boy or girl?
This class is so new to me. It feels weird.
Why can't you legally say things?
If you are a girl and change your sex to a guy, do you still have periods?
Why does the girl get periods?
PS: I don't have mine yet.
My mom told me before I had my, you know what. She said to me if I have sex, I would probably get, you know, so I knew about this because my mom told me.
Do people feel weird or embarrassed when they get their purpety?
What are some other ways U know that U have U're period?
Do tampons feel like pills for yeast?
Can you feel blood going through your system?
Do you have to start your period to have to be pregnant?
If I have my period during school, can I come to U 4a pad?
If I have my period on the pool party, can you help me with my tampon? If not, what should I do? (don't say my name if they ask)
How long would puberty really last?
Do you get cramps be4 your period gets there?
What is estrogen?
How [does] the pad get thin and longer?
Why do boy's penises point more?
If you get your period for the first time, how do you keep track of if you have a light, regular, or extra blood flow?
What if a girl starts the period at elementary school and the school didn't have pads?
What if a girl started the period at home and they ran out of pads and it was too dark to buy pads until the next day?
How do you deal with your period when it is unregular and you don't know when it's coming.
What should be the first kind of pad we get?
What age did you get your period?
When you first start getting your period, how would you know which pad size to get?
How does puberty happen?
How does your period happen?
What age would be safe to wear a tampon?
When you get your period, does it hurt a lot?
Why can't girls and boys be friends without people thinking you're going out?
Do you have to sleep with a pad on?
If a woman has a hysterectomy, can she still have a baby?
If you never have a period, what will happen?
Can you get affected by wearing a pad too long?
Who made or discovered sex?
What if your period lasts 1 day?
What if a boy knows that you have "P", what should you do?
When you wear a tampon, do you have a string hanging out of your vagina all day?
What if you are at school about in high school and you're taking a test and you have your period and you can't leave the room to change? What do you do?
When did you first get your period and at what age? When did you know about periods and puberty, and was it disgusting?
Can boys get periods?
How do you know when your blood comes out from your thing?
Why is penis so funnier than sex?
What age can a doctor stop looking at your you know what?
Isn't there something else that young girls have before they have a period? What is that called?
What if you start having your period and if you want to go to the nurse and your teacher is a guy, will they understand what we are going through and not freak OUT!!!
Why is the guys penis pointier than the women's?
Are discharges kind of like periods?
Why do men care about women's bodies so much?
When a boy gets erections, how long do they last? Are they like periods and do they come back? Does it hurt when a boy gets erections?
Is it possible for males to have babies?
If a [boy] loses his penis, what will happen?
Do boys have something like a period to show that they are going through puberty?
how does the boy's penis get an erection?
When you're pregnant, how long does it take for your body to find out your pregnant and start having symptoms?
Can you shave the hair on your private parts, or you just let it keep growing?
What is labia and tubes?
How do the boys get pads?
Exactly what is sperm?
The first time I get my period, will it be a heavy flow?
What do you mean it hardens? (the penis)
Do all boys have wet dreams?
What does erection mean? I don't understand it.
How exactly does an egg and sperm meet?
An ejaculation is when sperm comes out of the boy's penis, or is it when the penis hardens?
Do you still have your period when you get preg?
Do you get preg. every time you have sex?
We have thousands of eggs, right? Does that mean when all the eggs are done, [we are] done with having our period?
So when the egg cracks, does it mean you're having your you know?
Do boys grow hair on their penis?
If a male and a female have sex but with a condom, is there still a chance of her still getting pregnant? What does a condom look like?
What is the youngest age anyone has had their period?
What age do you start your period? (usually)
If you're on your period and having sex, what will happen to a girl when you're in high school?
Are women the only human group to have babies?

A Quick Pi Update

2009-04-25T00:14:00.002-04:00

Yesterday, my pi eating student reached the 1001 digit milestone. What can you say about that?
Today I told my students that if they all get A's on their spelling test that I would attempt to recite pi to 50 digits and if everyone got 100%, that I would do that for 100 digits. They said that I should say that I will, not should. I told them that I was too old to remember that many digits and that I was being honest in saying I would attempt to do it. After all, that is all that I asked from them, right?
Anyway, one student chimed in and said, "Mr. Selvin, you're not that old!"
She got an "A" for the day!

Family Life: It's that time again! Warning: this posting contains some explicit language!

2009-04-24T00:30:00.004-04:00

It's that time again for 5th graders to experience the joys of learning about the oncoming train wreck called puberty! I give the students card to write down questions or comments they may have about whatever they are thinking about, experiencing, or questioning about what they learn in the unit. The following is a list of those responses I have collected over the past few days. They edited only for clarity and spelling (unless otherwise noted):

Is it completely normal to be scared?
Is it normal to already have hair there?
When you change and have puberty, are any of the changes going to hurt?
Why did the school choose YOU to be the family life teacher? (ouch!)
When is the appropriate time to get sex?
If a girl asks you to touch her butt and if you are scared to touch her butt because she might not like the way you're touching it, she could call the police. What should you do?
Are you gonna teach us how to get a lawyer? Because this is family life.
How do you get twins?
If you get hit in the balls too hard, will it take you sperm away permanently?
Is it the sperm or the egg that holds the baby?
Is semen another word for ski? <------ Editorial note: When we saw this question we wondered what they were thinking and mentioned the lyrics to a song (which escapes me). I looked up ski in the Urban Dictionary and it mentions Ski in relation to sex, most relevantly to semen in a few ways: A SKI MASK is when a guy comes on a girls face that goes around her eyes and mouth. A SKI JOB is where a girl gives a hand job to a guy sitting on each side of her at the same time.
Is sex against the law if you're under 16?
Is it completely normal to be scared about puberty?
Do pex come during puberty? (I think he meant pecs as in pectoral muscles)
Do boys penis get growing when you are getting older?
I think how to have babies are to put your penis through the vagina. Is that true?
When are we going to watch a video?
If you have a mental child, does that mean that the parents are a bad couple?
Does sperm make babies?
Do you have to have sex to have babies? And what if you don't want to have sex?
What if you change too early?
Are there more sperms in the body than one?
What is a scrodum?
Is sperm a white fluid?
Does sperm come out regularly when we get older?
When will we be able to watch movies?
If someone hits you hard on your penis, can you die?
Can you fracture your testicles or vagina?
In the news, the reporters say rape and sexual harassment are slightly common crimes.
Can't the [athletic] supporter and your penis make contact [if you get hit there]?
When you were talking about the penis itching, isn't that called crabs?
Can you start to perspire when you dream about girls?
What does it mean when your balls drop because people keep saying to wait till my balls drop to talk to them.
What are testes?
Isn't getting an erection like getting horny?
Can you get an erection from seeing women kiss each other?
Do boys grow hair between our butts?
Why do scrotums change shape and size and hardness?
When do you stop changing?
Do you know if someone can go to jail if they send a picture of a boy that is taking a bath?
Why do people think that when they have sex they automatically are men?
Does everyone get acne?
Why do we change our voice?
Do you have armpit hair?
What if you don't go through puberty? Do you die?
How do you get AIDS?
What other diseases will we get besides HIV?
What other changes will we get when we're older?
What is another way to explain puberty?
Can you die if you got in a big fight with a 16 year old man and you were 6 year old kid? Can that happen?
But if a girl wants you to touch her butt, and there are witnesses around, would you still get in trouble if all of the witnesses said she told him to?
Don't women grow hair on their stomach too?
Do the sperm and egg both have half of the baby?
Comment: People who pick their buggers and stick them on the wall are being rude to the community.
What does good decisions and bad decisions have to do with the class?
If you go to the bathroom and somebody looks at you, I know that is bad, but what if they stalk you?
Why did we talk about this?
Are we gonna talk about our feelings and love? Because that is what it seems like.
If a girl sexually harasses a boy, will the effect be as big as a boy doing it?
Are boys mental because they want sex?
Why are women wanting to show their body parts to men?
Does puberty happen to every boy or girl no matter what?
If you are embarrassed about the changes to you and your parents don't want to talk to you about it, what do you do?
Can we talk to you about puberty if we're embarrassed?
What does responsibility have to do with this class?
What produces sperm?

Random Conversations

2009-04-24T00:26:00.002-04:00

Nat: Why did the rooster cross the road?
Dad: I don't know, why?
Nat: Because the chicken was on vacation!

The Nature of Two Things That are Perplexing

2009-04-16T22:21:00.005-04:00

There are two things that I find quite perplexing -- one rather amazing and the other rather amusing.
First, the amazing thing:
The student of mine who recited the 314 + digits of pi from memory a few weeks ago and thus causing me to don a blond do just recited 901 digits of pi today.
Yes, that's right folks! We had some visitors in the building today and they got to witness it too.
This student is not someone who you'd think would take up such a task. He's not D&D geeky or strangely savant. He's smart but not flashy and prefers to fly under the radar. Except for this anomaly, he's quite the adequate minimalist. However, this challenge has him showing his true nature. I told him that the cat's out of the bag now. This is big!

Secondly, the amusing thing:
It seems that my shortest blog entry happens to be the one that draws the most traffic! It is about a naturist beach I visited in Cornwall, England last summer. I would say that two-thirds of the visitors from Google searches include the word "naturist" in them.
Who'da known?
BTW, the second most-searched blog entries that are visited are related to the posts of the questions that the students ask during our 5th grade unit on Family Life, which is coming up very shortly. Check back in the near future for these updates!

Blond, Redux

2009-04-04T11:21:00.002-04:00

So it was done. I'm now blond. Personally, I don't understand why people go through what it takes to do dye their hair, but that is another matter. What matters is that when I come back from spring break, my students will see that I have kept up by end of the challenge and did it.
What is even more amazing is that my students are incredible! One third of the students in the 5th grade have recited 20 or more digits of pi from memory, with about 12 of them hitting 50 or more digits! And, as if all of these exclamation points were not justified, here's another: One kid recited pi to 617 digits from memory yesterday!!! (yes, I think that deserves the extra !'s)
I don't know exactly what drives this urge, but I hope that it somehow transfers to them understanding that with a little bit of effort, they can do anything they set their minds to. Jaime called up the local paper, The Gazette, and a reporter wrote an article about it! (yes, another !)
[note: The article mentions that I said that pi goes out to 1 trillion digits, which is a significant misquote. I said that computers have calculated pi through that range, but as far as we know, since it is an irrational number, it goes on forever.]

Noodles, The Googling Cat

2009-04-04T10:26:00.002-04:00

I am always amused, as is our generation, of the amazing technical prowess of kids these days. After all, I remember how cool it was as we stuck in the cassette tape to boot up our Commodore 64's in computer class in high school and how cutting edge it was for us to be programming in Basic code to make a number appear on the screen when we input a set of data. Now, if I have any problems with the computer (or the DVD remote, for that matter) all I have to do is ask my daughter or son, who have already figured it all out. It just amazes me to think that somewhere around my son's age, my dad brought home the latest and best Texas Instruments digital calculator with its bulky (by today's standards) hull and bright red digital readout. I remember playing with it doing all sorts of unnecessary calculations just to see it work. The first Macintoshes were years off and the verb or notion to google something was even further away and if I wanted to learn about something, I still had to open up the set of Encyclopaedia Britannica on our bookshelf to get some insight. Now my daughter sifts through the information with a few keystrokes to decide what to put in a report about Tasmania or I find an audio presentation about the Cyclops Polyphemus being outsmarted by Odysseus when my son says that "Nobody did it."

So to my surprise this morning, I found out that Noodles the cat has entered the information age! I left my laptop open on the table when I left this morning to take my daughter to horseback lessons. When I got back, there was Noodles sitting there beside the laptop as if I had just interrupted her from doing nothing. I knew she was sitting at, or more correctly on, the computer because I had to blow away some of her fur off the keyboard and screen. What I didn't know was that I must have caught her in the act of googling some information. I could see it in her eyes as they said, "Curses, foiled again. Oh look, a fly!"

When I looked at the computer, the Google page was up and the settings were somewhat altered, and on the search bar there was something typed in. At first it looked like just random keystrokes, but then I thought I'd check out what Noodles was "looking for."

Apparently, Noodles was looking for information regarding the cohesion of uniformity of soil (I guess for some plot to make a great escape out into the Outerworld). In the search bar I found the following:
"?(I9okn

Which was specific enough to bring up a few entries, one being about the aforementioned topic and others of undecipherable babble.

Who knew?

I didn't think they'd do it!

2009-03-24T23:59:00.005-04:00

My students are awesome.
In honor of Pi Day, I gave my math students a challenge to see who could recite from memory the most digits of pi. See my previous post about that.
Since then, my homeroom has gone wild with the idea and when I challenged them further with the goal of reaching 314 digits of pi, I thought it was a far enough point to leave it at that. A few kids left the pack and traded the lead for the most digits recited and they had fun going back and forth. It was cool to watch them support each other, trying to memorize new sections.
On that Friday, one kid came up to me and told me that he was going to do it. On Monday he pointed his finger at me and said I was going down. I smiled at him, thinking that was just trash talk. Today he came in and told me that he was going to do it today. After an initial run, he forgot a 2-digit combination in the 250+ range, but when I gave him the number combo, he then ran through the rest with no trouble. He later came to me ready to do it and as he began, students began to gather around to watch. When he hit the former trouble spot, you could sense the crowd getting even more excited. I had to cover my mouth as I was smiling while he calmly recited the last 30 numbers in the series. When he reached the 314th digit, he went on to the 321st digit to the cheers of his classmates. The whole class erupted into a huge excited celebration that took us to lunch.
So now I will honor my part of the challenge and get my hair dyed blond. I will probably do it over our spring break, which begins in a week and a half from now.

An Amazing Slice of Pi!

2009-03-18T15:01:00.003-04:00

On Friday, March 13, my math class celebrated Pi Day (a day early) to mark the calendar's closest approximation of the important ratio of pi. Pi, represented by the Greek letter (this program won't let me put the symbol here!), is the relationship between a circle's diameter its circumference. It is called an irrational number because its digits continue without end and no pattern yet discovered. So far, computers have calculated pi to over 1 trillion places! Reports claim that The Guinness Book of World Records has that someone has recited pi from memory to 67,000 digits! There are other unverified or unofficial claims for higher achievements, but really, let's ask ourselves the question that most of us shake our heads to: Why? I guess the peak of Mt. Everest would never have been reached with that kind of attitude, so I challenged my math students to see how many they could remember and recite. At first only a few students took on the task. One student who bravely took the first challenge reached 20 digits the next day. She earned a prize for her efforts. Since then, several students from my homeroom have taken on the challenge and it has gotten their competitive juices flowing, with a handful of them coming close to recalling 100 digits of pi. I didn’t think anyone would get that far, so I offered up a $5 prize as an enticement. That was achieved on the same day I mentioned it! As of this moment, I have two students who have blasted through the 100 digit mark with the highest number of digits recited from memory being 116, with seven others not far behind. One of the students who is in the lead is one that needs that positive attention and it has been a joy to see him get excited with doing this. I hope that he can see that he can do anything if he puts his mind to it! I have also thrown down the challenge that if a student at our school can recite from memory 314 digits of pi, I will reprise my agreement to dye my hair blond again!

Writing Strategies and Lego People

2009-02-22T13:35:00.002-05:00

I have been working on a novel for some years now, and it is time to get it finished. Most of it is done, or at least most of the part that is easy to manage is done. For the last 2 years I've been languishing with the problem that at one point the number of characters that enter into the story has gotten too complicated for me to keep straight. A lot of them are minor players, but they all have specific reasons or roles to play. It wouldn't be so much of a problem if the characters were completely made up in my mind, but they aren't: they are drawn from the list of Arthurian knights, so they come with a lot of baggage! In the story I am writing, the knights or other characters that I am including all have some connection to their literary counterparts, but they are not necessarily them; they are what could be the "kernel of truth" that later became what the likes of Geoffrey of Monmouth, Chrétien de Troyes, or Sir Thomas Malory wrote about.

Without going into too much detail about the story, I have to write scenes that include many characters and their interactions. Keeping track of them and consistent has been a challenge, so I've devised a plan that I will give a try: I will use Lego people to stage each scene so I can visualize what is happening, who is there and involved and keep track of the events as they unfold.

Thanks to Noah, who has helped me sort through all of the Lego we have to find as many as we can collect. I ended up buying him a couple of small sets of Lego as an early birthday present, sans the people!

Truly Random YouTube

2009-02-13T23:42:00.002-05:00

YouTube.

I've spent some time randomly strolling through the endless pathways of YouTube's voluminous and endless possibilities. I had never put anything on it, but often wondered who is putting all this crazy stuff and who are all these people making comments about these videos.

One day last fall I came across a video that had to do with something about Muzak, or something related to it. I don't know what overcame me, but I had to make a comment all of a sudden, which in turn meant I needed to sign up for an account.

Now, my grandfather, Ben Selvin was a big band leader in the 20's and 30's, and went on to be a recording executive. One of the jobs he had was working for Muzak at the beginning of its inception. More on that later.

My grandfather's tenure there had never really been discussed growing up, but it was always known. I never really knew what he did for them, but I did know what pop culture thought of Muzak, elevators and all. Don't ask, don't tell, right?

Well, one evening when I was in my teens working as a busboy at the Seafood Shanty, I had a moment of realization of a few things: As I was cleaning tables in a room that was being in the process of closing out, the background music began to filter into my consciousness. The song, at first unidentifiable to me, suddenly became disorienting; It was Muzak's version of Dardanella, my grandfather's song that was the first pop song to go gold back in 1919! The shock and irony of hearing and recognizing this was very strange. Hear the original version of Dardanella.

Anyway, I wrote a comment about this as it related to the video (of which I don't remember) and that was that.

A few weeks later, I got an email from a bloke named Joe Carter at Muzak... "Are you Ben Selvin's grandson?" Joe Carter, I later learned is from the band Joe Public, and is a programmer for Muzak. It turns out that 2009 is the 75th anniversary of the founding of Muzak and they were planning a big year-long celebration. My grandfather was at the beginning of this venture and as I found out, very important for a lot of what they recorded.

I then got in touch with a fellow named Bruce McKagan, (who's brother is Duff McKagan, bassist from Guns n Roses!). He was spearheading this whole 75 anniversary celebration where they were planning of highlighting each decade. He was interested in finding out any information about my grandfather's background and experiences that could help them along. He flew me down to their HQ's in near Charlotte, NC. Bruce was a wonderful host and showed me around the place and I got to meet some really cool folks and check out their archives and research. (their place is worth an entry of its own)

I learned that Muzak shed its elevator music identity and how my grandfather's work changed the music environment. When my grandfather started out, the music on records was not licensed for the airways. This meant that a radio station was not allowed to play recorded music. Music you heard was usually live performances, and if you played pre-recorded records, the musicians couldn't get properly compensated. Muzak changed that by recording (called transcriptions) their own music for distribution out to businesses through mostly telephone lines. Since the music was their property, they could play whatever they provided. The problem was, in the beginning, they had no music. In comes Ben Selvin. He was already a successful musician, bandleader and executive. He came in and began to record massive amounts of material. He had the best musicians, composers, arrangers and connections in the music industry, and he virtually recorded them all. I would go as far to say that during the depression, between his bands and work at Muzak, he kept a lot of musicians employed. He recorded thousands of songs on these transcription disks during his tenure there. The names read like a who's who: Dorsey Brothers, Joe Venuti, Fats Waller just to name a few off the top of my head without looking it up. Many of them recorded under various different names, sometimes unlisted or not credited.

The music that was recorded in the early years was virtually the same stuff that was being played during the time. It could all stand up to the pop music of the time, but was only heard through the service. I got a chance to look at a few of the binders my grandfather kept of the production of these transcription disks. (the disks were like metal/acetate records) Each disk could hold a number of tracks. In the binders, I could see his remarks that rated something they could use or not -- NG for no good, don't use, for instance. These recordings were it. Each take had to be flawless because there were no do-overs or edits at that time.

It wasn't until after he left Muzak, did they stray from his model of production and selection did they go elevator on us. Bruce told me that at some point in the 90's (I think) they decided to ditch that type of music and go back to using original artists doing their original work.

So, all this brings me to February 12. My sister and I were invited back to HQ to participate in Muzak's kickoff celebration which focused on the 30's and featured prominently Ben Selvin and his contribution. They had a high school big band there, presented a large check through their Heart and Soul Foundation (to support music education), video and history presentations. My sister and I were there as a link to Ben Selvin and it was very touching to see my grandfather get some recognition for his contribution to the industry.

On a somber note, the day was exactly one year to the day of the passing of my father. I'm sure he would have wished he could be there to see that.

Flying Spaghetti Monster

2009-02-06T21:00:00.003-05:00

The Band Formerly Totally Unknown as The Racket perform their original song, Flying Spaghetti Monster, at Town Hall in College Park, Maryland on January 31, 2009. Divinely inspired, the band channels the Almighty's Noodly Appendage in a rapturous jam. The band consists of members Rod Rebuck, guitars and vocals; Doug Lay, drums; Anne Albinak, bass; David Selvin, guitar.

Lingerie Bowl Canceled Over Nakedness!

2009-01-28T21:14:00.004-05:00

Seriously:
The Lingerie Bowl had to be canceled because the sponsors and the host had a dispute they couldn't resolve: The game, which was to be broadcast during the Superbowl halftime show on another network, was to be hosted by a nudist colony and they couldn't guarantee that their attendees wouldn't come naked, so the organizers were forced to cancel because the wholesomeness that a game in which the players ran around in bras and panties would be compromised by having naked spectators.

Check it out:
Lingerie Bowl Canceled Over Nakedness

OH!bama

2009-01-04T22:40:00.002-05:00

I wasn't sure if I was going to post this, but might as well:

It is different right now, to be sure.
For the past 2 presidents in particular, regardless of whether or not you consider yourself on the left or right, it has been a lifestyle of endurance through countless painful controversies. There has been a constant level of waves of unending stress, like the soundtrack of our lives has been bombarded with bright lights and loud obnoxious music to break our collectivce wills. I will refrain from listing them here. Politics is not what this blog is about.

Since the election, though, there is a sense of something we are not accustomed; there is a feeling of euphoria and the frenzied Obamamania that has gripped the country. While we are all pinching ourselves to see if this is for real, while we walk around with a renewed lightness of being, and while the opponents of anything that might look like a Good Opportunity lay in wait, I can't help but have this unpleasant and unpinpointable feeling like we are . . . oh! I don't know, going to lose it. Something (I'm sure Jung or Freud would have an explanation) is not letting me feel on the inside how I see others feel outwardly. It is not that I don't share in the moment the joy and excitement that is all around -- I do -- but there is something cautious inside saying that I shouldn't get too attached to the situation -- that at any moment, something is going to snatch it away. And we all want it so bad that I think people are very vulnerable to the disappointment of reality.
I've told my daughter to soak up the events, take it all in and understand that we are living through amazingly historical times and the fact is that we know it now. This is VERY COOL!
We know that we will be able to say to our kids and grandkids we were there while it happened.
I only hope that some unknown thing doesn't take it all away.
I am usually an optimist to a fault. I just don't know where my inner optimism is at the moment. It is not that I feel guilty or unworthy of enjoyment, I just feel overly cautious.

It's been a while, eh? A rant about technological addictions.

2008-12-20T11:31:00.003-05:00

It is funny how you can get sucked into things, let it take over your attention, and then, POOF, it somehow disappears and you find something else to occupy your attention.
ADD does that.
For the past year, I had been dutifully writing in this blog with the newfound excitement of having a voice and preparation for a big trip. Work and family was full of inspiratation. I eagerly awaited the time I could slip away and write a few words.
And then something got in the way and pushed it out of my head-on radar.
That thing was Facebook! Uggggh.
I've heard all about MySpace and Twitter and wondered what was all the big deal. Couldn't figure out what all the big deal was. Then my cousin said something about FB and it was all over. I looked it up, but then you have to make an account to see anything of any interest. By then it was all over. Now I feel compelled to check it out whenever I can.
I am feeling a pattern here:

When I first got cable, I felt that at any moment, I had to rush and check out if there was some obscure interesting show I was misssing that I had to find ---Net result: Waste of time, learned interesting but useless stuff. Ended up cancelling cable.
When I first got a video game (for the PC, not a Nintendo TV attached game) it took up all my time too-- I would go upstairs in the evening and then play for lost hours until I realized I had to get up in a few) ---Net result: I tried to go cold turkey, but didn't work. I still play the same stupid game with all of the stupid same quests, but still enjoy staying up too late to play it. My kids have a second hand Play Station and I refuse to play it for fear of what would happen there.
Cell phones: I got really frustrated the last time I went to buy a cell phone because all they seemed to have were all these really cool phones that did almost everything but make phone calls (that was probably an extra charge or an afterthought). I just want a phone, I don't want an iPod, MP3 player, 2inch TV, internet connection, little black book with Crackberry hints and overtones. Just a phone. (OK, once in a while I wish I could have an instant Google convenience when the occassion arises and I don't know the answer to something that will leave my short term memory the fleeting instant something else comes into my view. But hey, didn't we live for eons without the internet, antibiotic handlotion, and Underarmor? Come on! Egads, we only got a microwave because my mother was incredulous that we didn't have one. Can't you boil water on the stove? What's wrong with that? Oh, back to cell phones. My last cell phone had V-Cast, whatever that is, internet capability, other stuff I didn't need or know what it was, and several downloaded games that I ended up needing to constantly charge the battery for. The only thing I did with my present one is download 2 ring tones because I got caught up in the moments and bought them on impulse like some item you pick up at the dollar store that you really didn't need but thought "That's a good price." I have an MP3 player and it has a lot of my music on it. I believe in the Separation of Powers when it comes to electronics. If one thing has too much information of you and you loose it, well, you get the pic.

I could go on, but now I realize that I've spent too much time working on this when I should be installing a new faucet in my bathroom.

Old?

2008-09-17T16:49:00.002-04:00

When I first started working in education I worked with a 4th grade teacher who was most likely over 30 years my senior. She had experience and was my mentor. As a matter of fact and out of respect I would have never called her "old." One day, a student asked her a question, common to unflinchingly candid students of his ilk: "How old are you?" She returned with deadpan off-handedness that she was 100 years old. Most students took this in stride and either accepted it or ignored it. We moved on. Or so I thought. A few minutes later, the same kid's hand rose and you could see his seriousness painted on his face.
"Excuse me, Mrs. S . . ."
"Yes?"
"Um, I don't really think you're 100 years old."
"Oh? You don't?"
I thought he caught on that she was not that old and just had to call her on it.
"No, I don't. You see, my brother had you a few years ago, and he told me you said then that you were 100 years old..."
Ok, she was busted, right?
"...and that was 4 years ago, so that makes you at least ..."
Wrong. I almost snorted when I heard this. Good thing the teacher had a sense of humor.
Now yesterday, I was picking up my students up from recess and we got into a discussion about who was the fastest in the 5th grade and I added that it would be me if teachers were included. That was followed by a lot of laughter with many kids saying that it wouldn't even be a contest and that I should just be happy I could walk. Huh?
After some trash talking on both sides, when pressed as to why they thought they could beat me in a foot race, one boy expressed that it was because I was old and since he was young and full of energy that he could beat me with no problem. I asked all of the kids who thought that they could beat me in a race and almost all of them emphatically thought they could.
A few of them were quite sure of it.
Today, I raced this group of students and let's just say that it wasn't much of a contest.
And they are not calling me old anymore.

Soccer Dad

2008-09-11T14:10:00.002-04:00

Last year, my daughter started playing on a soccer team. I was so proud of her. Both kids have attended my games, and I thought it was cool that she was starting to play now. At first she was a bit shy and did not understand the idea of team play, but she quickly learned the rules and developed her skills. Her team eventually went on to win every game (although officially no score was counted - I did!).
This season, my son is starting on his first team and therefore both kids will be playing. After work today, I will repeat the proud moment I had last year shopping for cleats, shin guards and clothes for my daughter, this time for my son.

Needed a vacation from my vacation

2008-09-11T14:01:00.002-04:00

Wow, I haven't written anything for over a month! I think I needed a vacation from my vacation. My trip was absolutely amazing and a success for the goals that I had set, so it has been a busy time catching up on life in general. School has started up again and with the new crop of 5th graders comes a whole new set of raw material!
As far as the novel I am working on (and the 'purpose' of my UK leg of the trip), I have a better understanding for what I was looking for -- enough that I have to go and edit some of my material to make it more historically accurate. It is exciting to know what may have actually been, historically speaking, but sometimes it is hard to let go of something you wrote - even if it is not accurate. The laborious task of editing has begun. Wish me luck.

Time to go home

2008-08-01T03:55:00.003-04:00

It is almost 9 a.m. and I have to start my drive to Heathrow. I am a bit sad and relieved at the same time, like knowing that the next page you will turn in a great novel is the last.

The last full day

2008-08-01T03:25:00.006-04:00

I got up and walked around Cirencester, this time going to the Roman museum. They had some amazing mosaics that were found in the area. Apparently the area was known as the place to get them for your villa. After that, I took a ride up to Chedworth, which has the remains of a Roman villa that was found in the Victorian period. There was some mosaics there that were made by the artisans from Cirencester.

Later, Neil's friend Kate came over and we all went to watch his band, The Layers, try to record a few songs so a stand-in drummer can learn their repertoire. They are going to have a gig in New York in 2 weeks with hopes of breaking into the American scene!

Later, we came back to Neil's place and ate a wonderful meal he cooked for me as my last evening on the trip and for Kate's upcoming birthday: a beer and meat stew, crushed potatoes with garlic, and a veggie mix with zucchini and broccoli. We then walked to the local pub for a last call brew and then came back for ice cream and strawberries and some vintage port wine.

What a nice way to end my trip. Thanks, Neil - that was great!

Cirencester

2008-07-30T20:27:00.002-04:00

I find myself in Cirencester, a town in the Cotswolds part of England. It has origins as an important Roman city, just after London. I am having a hard time pronouncing the town correctly, so I try to avoid saying it or devising round about ways of discussing this place when talking. It sounds something like siren-sester, but even that might be wrong in the emphasis. Oh well, it doesn't take away from the beauty of the place. You have the average market town parts and the Cotswolds stone buildings about that make this quaint town the "Capital of the Cotswolds." The Cotswolds encapsulates the essence of what a British country town is ideally in my mind. It is like a time capsule when wool was the chief economic engine.
My host is Neil, who is a singer/guitar player in a local band called The Layers, and is a science teacher, too. He also plays soccer (football, that is). He found me a pair of turf shoes my size and we played a scrimmage in a town nearby called Stroud. Later, we went to an open mike night at a local pub and he performed a set and then played with a few other acts. I got to go up and I actually sang backup on an R.E.M. song. What fun!

Pasties

2008-07-29T20:53:00.002-04:00

When I first heard that when in Cornwall I had to try some pasties, I couldn't help but think of the tiny tassled nipple covers of certain scantilly clad erotic dancers.
But no, that is not what they are, or how they are pronounced, as I was ever so politely corrected. Pah/stee is more like it. It is a savory/sweet meal in a dough pouch with a meat, potatoes and onions. The dough would be pinched along the seam so that you can hold it with your fingers. The miners in the area used to eat them because they could hold them with their dirty hands and not worry about eating the thicker part of the crust.
Can I have a lamb and mint pah/stee, please mum?

Tintagel to Bradford-on-Avon

2008-07-29T20:37:00.010-04:00

I got an early start from Truro with Stella fixing me a cup of tea and some toast. I was headed up to Tintagel to see the remains of the alleged castle that King Arthur was born in. More on that later.

I stopped in a few towns whilst in Cornwall (the British like the word whilst) to have a look around. They were fairly much carbon copies of each other, so I didn't stay too long. Quaint, yes. Different, no.

Now the village of Tintagel exists for no other reason other than to support an artificial King Arthur cheesy tourist industry. Quaint, yes. Different, no.

Do I sound like I'm getting an attitude? No, not me.

Anyway, the hike to Tintagel castle was worth it in the long run. There were spectacular views from the cliffs all around. Oh, and the castle ruins were pretty cool too.

The trail started with a sign that offered Land Rover shuttles down to the base of the cliffs where the climb up to the castle begins. At a touch over $3.50 each way, I snickered at all of able bodied folks who were on line waiting. But let me tell you, on the way back I gave it a second thought. I was wiped out when I got back to my car.
From there I headed back to Bath and after there was a "house meeting" for all of the residents of the place I was staying, Erich and Angelo (who gave up his room for me and is a couchsurfer himself) stayed out and went to Bradford-on-Avon and hung out. It was late at night and raining and everything was closed down. Last call was given and we watched the show of drunks stumble about. We started talking to some Bangladeshi guys who were closing up shop outside of their restaurant and one of them offered us some kind of crispy flat chip like food. I can't remember what it was called, but it was a nice gesture. We ate it while trying to avoid getting wet. We had fun walking around the town in the rain as it was virtually deserted. One might of thought we were drunk ourselves as we carried on along the empty storefronts and back alleys. I took some pics that came out cool and and Erich, who was a bit manic seemed like a ghost beginning to manifest itself in this plane.

A tour of Cornwall

2008-07-27T19:06:00.008-04:00

Cornwall is a beautiful and rugged place. We drove all over the place today: Land's End, Pendeen, ate in and walked around Zennor, went swimming in Treen (I think it was in Treen, and yes, see previous post), Penzance and ended the day in Truro.

Let me just say that it was thrilling to drive today. The roads were a treat to drive, but at the same time it was absolutely crazy, curvey, nervey, narrow and often downright breathtaking.

I must admit there were times that I just closed my eyes and hoped that the car or the hedge next to me didn't meet up. I don't really know how I did it, but it was a thrill seeker's dream.

A Naturist's Beach!

2008-07-27T19:05:00.000-04:00

Well, when in Rome, right?
'nuff said.

To Truro -- for real!

2008-07-26T19:49:00.004-04:00

I couldn't sleep last night because Bath, for some reason, is inundated with seagulls that laugh like a schoolyard full of drunk children, if you can imagine that. I thought birds go to sleep at night, but these creatures seem to fly around and carry on at all times in the night.

I got up at 8 and headed out towards Truro, with one eye towards Cheddar and another one on Glastonbury. I still have some sites in Cheddar to see on the ticket I bought, but Glastonbury won out in the end. I walked around the ruined abbey where some poor monks ran a successful PR campaign and has anointed it the burial place for King Arthur and Queen Guinevere, turning it into a pilgrimage spot for the Arthur crowd. I then walked through as much of the town that my allotted 1 hour parking slip allowed. Glastonbury is full of tourists and resident hippies, goths and occult minded free spirits.

After that, I spent about 6 hours in 2 major traffic jams on the M5. One 25 mile stretch took 2 hrs to get through. Unfortunately, there were no viable workarounds.

I eventually made it to my hosts place. Stella packed a meal for a barbeque with some friends of hers. We went to a place along the beach and had kabobs, wine/beer, and other foods.

Afterwards, we went to Helston, where her friends lived, and went to a pub called the Blue Anchor Inn, which has been around in one form or another for a long time, but became a tavern in the 1500's. Thorold proudly showed me the place and bought me a beer brewed there called Spingo.

Uh, what day is it?

2008-07-25T17:56:00.002-04:00

So, I'm driving down the M5 motorway down to Truro in Cornwall to my next host's place when there came a not so sudden realization that there is something a bit off about the whole situation. I talked to my host the night before and made sure everything was still in order. I got up this morning and headed to pick up my rental car around 10:30, just after my host Erich went to work-- just like we have discussed we would do many times. It took a bit longer than I expected because the rental place in central Bath was actually 2 miles from the center of Bath and Olga walked with me there. That was a good thing too, because I would have never found it. I dropped Olga off afterwards, grabbed my bags and took off for Truro.

I had the radio on as I was headed south and I heard the over-talkative DJ say something with the word Friday in it. Strange, I thought, being that it was Saturday. So I just thought perhaps he was talking about something he did the day before, especially since I wasn't really paying attention.

Then I heard the word Friday again, but again I didn't know what they were talking about. But then I got to thinking about what day it really was.

You see where this is going?

Erich had mentioned that he had to work on Saturday at 10 and he was free on Friday. Last night he said that he had to work the next morning at 10, so I got confused and thought that it was Saturday and just carried on with that day's plans. Now with frantic doubt at hand, I called my next host to see what day I said I said I was coming. Thank goodness she didn't answer right away. I called Olga up and she said to come on back.

I turned around and on my way back I stopped in a cheesy tourist town called Cheddar. I took the tour of the Cheddar Gorge and caves and bought a small wheel of Cheddar to bring back for dinner.

My mantra for tonight will be: Tomorrow is Saturday. Tomorrow is Saturday. Tomorrow is Saturday.

Pub Quiz Questions

2008-07-24T07:33:00.000-04:00

I will list the questions in the comment section.

York and the Yorkshire Moors

2008-07-24T05:43:00.009-04:00

My car had a small chip as noted on the inspection sheet when I first picked it up. This morning, the chip turned into a 10 inch crack. I called the rental company and discussed it with them. They wanted me to get it fixed, but I think I will wait until I get back if it doesn't get bigger. On the way down to York on the A19, I spotted an American diner called the OK Diner. Intrigued and longing for something American, I decided to stop in and have a look and something sweet. To my surprise, there was no apple pie a la mode! So I had a fudge brownie sundae instead.
My hosts, Tanya and Huw, had an amazing location -- across the street from the York Minster. Well, I thought it was cool, but I think they are tired of the minster and the Catholic church next to it ringing dueling bells all the time. They had another couchsurfer from South Korea named Suhyeon who has been surfing across Asia and Europe for several months. Tanya and Huw assembled a picnic dinner and we went to a local park and had a nice spread.

Later that evening, we walked around the city and eventually made it to a pub with a quiz night. We met up with another guy named Dave, so we named our team Three Non-Daves. We ended up winning the pub quiz with 40 out of 50 questions correct. YEAH! That gave us coupons for a bunch of free beer. If I have time, I will post the questions in a comment.

Henry VIII was certainly a tempermental man. Here is an example of his opinion of the Church at the time

This is a view from one of the windows in the house.

Michael and I have been laughing at all of the To Let signs. He said that we should put an "i" in between them. Looks like someone heard us talking about it!

Walking around in York.
This is the view from my bedroom window.

This is a random ruined abbey or church along the road in the Yorkshire Moors. These ruins dot the land.

The Yorkshire Moors have a fantastic landscape. You can see for miles around you from the tops of the strange earth with deep cuts in the ground that have been carved away by the action of springs and time.

Legend has it that this depression was created by the devil when he scooped up the earth to throw at someone (can't remember the details, but that is the gist of it). I couldn't get a good picture of it because it was too big for a single picture to capture it, but it does look like someone tried to claw a handful of dirt from the ground.
I stopped by for a brief visit to Helmsley and Pickering, both quaint little market towns and ended up in Whitby by the seaside. Whitby is a fishing village, but is also known for a darker side. Apparently Dracula ended up here and so this is a big Goth tourist stop and hangout. Ghost tours, of course, abound. There were plenty of people there from all walks, but I didn't see any Goths hanging out in the dainty little tea rooms sipping a cup of Darjeeling. I escaped with getting a greasy fish & chips before hitting the road back to Newcastle.

Serendipty

2008-07-22T03:53:00.001-04:00

The word serendipity has come up quite a few times this trip, to be sure. Wikipedia mentions that "Serendipity is the effect by which one accidentally discovers something fortunate, especially while looking for something else entirely."
Michael and I found it several times on our trip up to Scotland, from the Botanical Gardens, Rumbling Bridge - and even the very local pub in Glasgow. While a trip like this takes quite a bit of planning, it seems that it is the serendipitous finds that seem to be the most fun.

In another example of this is that while I am here in the UK to do some research for the story I am writing, one of my hosts in York happens to be an archaeologist and has a number of books that are exactly what I am looking for! I have such titles as The Making of the English Landscape, The History of the Countryside the classic history of Britain's landscape, flora and fauna, Brewer's Dictionary of Phrase and Fable, and The Place-Names of Roman Britain.
Perfect!

Trip to Edinburgh

2008-07-20T21:23:00.009-04:00

Michael and I set out for Edinburgh and after divining a little bit, we found our couchsurfing host's place. We left the car there and headed downtown for a walk along the Royal Mile. Over the next couple of days we hiked up Arthur's Seat, walked all over the city and drank a lot of beer. Last night we went to a few places, but ended up at a pub that had live folk music. The music wasn't much to talk about -in fact, we couldn't even hear it -- but it turned out to be a couchsurfing meeting place. I met some people from France, Canada, Germany, Poland, Portugal, and a few other places. Later, we walked home and ran into a guy in a kilt. Michael wanted me to ask him if he was a true Scotsman (which I was too embarrassed to do), so he asked. The man said yes, to which Michael asked him to prove it. Subsequently, the guy lifted up his kilt to reveal that he wasn't wearing any underwear (thus proving his authenticity). Michael said it was not legitimate because he could have worn a G-string since he didn't show us his naughty parts, but I saw enough to be convinced. At some point we came across the Heart of Midlothian, a spot along the sidewalk where Michael said he wanted to spit. Apparently people spit on it and we weren't sure why, but we were like, "When in Rome . . ." so we did. We weren't sure if it was for good luck for anyone or only Scots (and thus we were now doomed) or what, but later we looked it up and saw this bit of info about it.
We also did some more walking around through neighborhoods, took a doubledecker bus through Leith, and walked through botanical gardens.
The next day we got up and decided to take the long way home, heading over the Forth of Firth, looking at the car and rail bridges. We headed out to Loch Leven, stumbled upon a really cool area called the Rumbling Bridge, a town called Dollar (which I think has it's origins in a derivation of the French word for pain, not a currency that is presently having some pain), hung out in strange local bar in Glasgow, all before driving through to Carlisle and Hadrian's Wall country on the way home. This video is of a guy who looks like Elton John singing karaoke to a U2 song and a very drunk patron dancing. Michael was sure I was going to get pummeled if anyone figured out I was filming what was going on because this seemed like quite a rough place.

Poetry Night in Newcastle

2008-07-20T21:04:00.003-04:00

My couchsurfing buddy Michael and I went into Newcastle for a night of poetry, music, and beer. We went to a pub that had an eclectic mix of things going on in different rooms or places about. Michael wanted to go tonight instead of heading up to Edinburgh because this was the last night of the poetry series for the year. We grabbed a bite to eat and drink and headed upstairs to listed to the readings. For me, it was more of a night of comedic poetry with some seriousness thrown in for good measure. There was some wacky folks who signed up to read. Many of the readers donned costumes to assume different roles. One woman put on an apron and scarf to look like country housewife, one Japanese man put on a biking outfit, and one strange young guy put on 70's style sunglasses and mustache that reminded me of Andy Kaufman's lounge act persona. One South African sounded like he had a professional voice, and when I talked to him later, it turns out that he was an actor and voice personality. One guy had someone play a didgeridoo in the background while he spoke.
During one break, we went outside and came upon some rowdy Morris Dancers having a grand time. There were some rather strange folks milling about and it was fun to watch. After the show we hung out in another room that had folk music playing with acoustic guitars, ukuleles, banjos and singing. The room next to us had accordions and concertinas among other sea shanty associated instruments and songs going on.
Afterwards, Michael showed me a few of the 8+ bridges that cross between Newcastle and Gateshead. One of them is a bridge that was just being completed and made out of bamboo!
Later, we went shopping to prepare for our trip to Edinburgh.

Driving in the UK

2008-07-17T12:30:00.002-04:00

I just picked up my rental car in Newcastle. I even made it to my couchsurfing friend Michael's place with only one person honking at me. That was good considering last year's try at it. What made me a bit nervous was the pre-acceptance walk around the car: there were a few scuffs that were indicated on the car and when we looked at them, I could hardly find them. I was thinking if they look that hard, then I'm in trouble. We'll see.
Wish me luck!

Hadrian's Wall Walk

2008-07-16T16:33:00.006-04:00

On to Hadrian's Wall. Last year I did a hike along the wall from Housted's Fort to Once Brewed. This year I took a bus to Once Brewed (yes, and there is a Twice Brewed, too!) and then went from Steel Rig to Gilsland and stayed at a B&B there. All-in-all, the walk was about 10 miles + another one to get to the B&B. The person at the information desk in Once Brewed said it would be a tough walk plus the fact that it will be windy. It was an arduous walk, indeed, but she hit it about the wind. It was really whipping around on the hilltops. The views were spectacular and I had a great time walking along, that is, until the end. At one point, I decided I had enough, and that was about 3 miles before the end. I met up with an older father and son duo and ended up walking with them until we got off the trail at an inn called Sampson's. They went in for a drink, but I pressed on, wanting to get there. I tried to call the place, but my phone didn't work in the area -how aggravating! After asking a few people where the place was, I found myself walking up a hill that took me away from the village and into the farmland. I kept asking myself, "Is this really the right way to go? You should have knocked on that last door to ask to use their phone." I pressed on a little more and couldn't see anything but farmland. Eventually, I saw a farmer drive up and check a bale of hey. I asked him about the place, which he knew of and offered me a ride there. How nice! Of course, I accepted gratefully.

My room is in a converted hay barn and is done up rather nicely. It has just enough space to have what you need. It has some of the original stone and dovetailing exposed, which looks cool.

I didn't order dinner ahead of time, thinking I'd either bring something or go into town. The host drove me to the Sampson Inn to eat and picked me up when I was done.

Note to self: What were you thinking taking your laptop on the hike? Whatever writing

you had to do could have waited. Idiot!

Catch-up post #4

2008-07-15T19:38:00.002-04:00

Oh goodness, so much has happened. \i feel like i might be in confession. Forgive me ... for \i have not blogged in so many days.
First off, let me say that \i am on a foreign keyboard and \i keep ;making mistakes, so \i am not going to attempt to correct everyone one. \i f you notice, all of my \i's have this\ before them becuase the shift is smaller and the \ is where my pinky would normally hit it. All other mistakes are attributed to fatigue or strange keyboards. At this moment, \i don't care.#

We stayed in Efrat with the Bogner#s. David and his family were consumate hosts, making us feel like we were family. They fed us a lot of food and \i may have actually gained a few pounds that \i lost while \i was sick. We all actually went out on Saturday night like it was a double date without the kides! David has a sense of humor \i appreciate, so that was refreshing. \i played a little guitar with his son, who is an aspiring player/songwriter himself.
Without getting too much into politics, Efrat is a lovely \\jewish town that is like others in the area nestled between Arab villages. While there isn't much violence between them, there isn't a whole lot of love crossing lines. \this tension seems par for the course for the residents, but for me, it is an unfamiliar stress that weighs on my comfort level. Especially when travelling through. \it was, as \i was told, safe. And it probably was safer, than say, taking a leisurely stroll through Camden at 2 am. Still, \i would go back to visit.
From there, we went to visit our next hosts in Rehovot\; Jose. We first stopped by a clandestine bullet factory that was set up before/during the War of \independance. A kibbutz was set up where underneath the laundry about 30 feet below the ground was a bullet factory that operated for a few years with no one finding out. The folks who didn't know it was there were called "giraffes" because they can#t see what happens under their feet. After that, we stopped by a community center where \\jose worked. \he took us to his apartment and hung out for a while until his wife, Elizabeth, came home. We had pizza and then she made a pasta dinner for us.
The next day \i was leaving, s0 we spent the first part in Tel Aviv and \yaffo. The flight out of Ben Gurion to \heathrow was good and \i got to my |\hotel in \london fairly late. \it was a nice hotel\; The Thistle.
\i'm almost caught up, but \i'm a bit tired. \i just got back from a comedy club in \newcastle with my friend \michael. \the show was mostly funny as there were a bunch of different acts. The best was an ensemble group who where polishing up their act for the upcoming Fringe Festival in Edinburgh.
Tomorrow, \i am off early to walk along \hadrian's wall and end at a B&B in Gisland before coming back to South Shields, where \michael lives and where \i am now.
Cheers!

Jerusalem, pt 2; the Dead Sea and Ein Gedi

2008-07-14T19:21:00.004-04:00

We made it back to Jerusalem and spent the day walking, walking, walking. Jaime was determined to leave no sidewalk untouched. We stopped by Hebrew U and visited her old dorm and stomping grounds and then went through other neighborhoods and looked at cool buildings and alleyways. By nightfall, the kids and I had enough and sat down at a cafe outside and ate dinner while Jaime walked around some more, taking pics and vids of whatever caught her eye. She then dragged us around some more places that she wanted to show us. We had enough, but she had a mission. Finally, we convinced her it was time to go home after going down Ben Yehuda street again. Taxi!

The next day we headed out for the Dead Sea and Ein Gedi. I probably don't have to mention this, but it was HOT! As we walked down to the water we passed these "abandoned" umbrellas and showers. I didn't think much of them, but Jaime asked someone what they were doing there and it turns out that the water level has dropped dramatically where they used to be where the shoreline was. Amazing. We all waded in the water, but didn't go floating along - I think mostly because we didn't want to deal with the oily water. We collected a bunch of crystalized or precipitated salt before leaving.

Ein Gedi is a nature preserve with waterfalls. We got there later in the day so we didn't have time to fully explore it. We did get to hang out at a waterfall for a while and that was enough for us.

As a bonus to the day, the kids got a camel ride!

Gideon: A Man, A Mission, A Mitzvah

2008-07-13T01:34:00.005-04:00

Jaime lived in Netanya with her father briefly and to make a long story short, he is buried there. A few months back Jaime asked a question on a list-serve about where the cemetery is located, if for some chance we made it there. She got a few responses, but one extraordinary one stood out. It was from a British ex-pat named Gideon.

After finding out her father's name, Gideon found his way to the cemetery and asked the right people where his grave was and actually found it! He took some pictures and sent it to us by email and told us to look him up when we got there.

Jaime gave him a call and we picked him up at a bus station. He was a nice chap and was excited to show us to where the grave was. After exchanging each other's background information and histories, we arrived at the cemetery. It was a very hot day and the sun was directly overhead. We walked to a plot in the back near the opposite corner where we arrived. As we got there, Gideon was describing his experience looking for it, giving a matrix combination of where it could be: 3rd row, fourth grave, or 4th row, third...

We finally found it and tried to take some personal time alone to reflect when we were descended upon by a couple of guys who wanted to polish his gravestone. We told him no thanks but he kept on hounding us. I finally had to yell at him to get lost and he finally left -- only to come back later and start again.

We talked to the kids about their grandfather, took some pictures and video, and left some stones on the grave. Upon walking back to the car, Gideon told us that he was so proud he called his rabbi about what he did. We offered him a lift back, but he refused and hopped on a bus that magically appeared as we walked to the car. We were very thankful for his good deed; his mitzvah.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the ...

2008-07-10T03:05:00.005-04:00

Funny? No. Not at least when you are going through it. Funny? Yes, because if you don't have a sense of humor, you will most likely self destruct in 30 seconds, or something like that.

The day started out good enough. Everyone was doing their own thing to get ready to leave our wonderful hosts. I heard some guys on the moshav having band practice, who I visited the day before, start up again. I got a chance to play guitar with the drummer who was good. I actually videoed them and will post it on the web for them to see.

We were going to stay in Me-Ammi, supposedly in the Haifa district, but a bit away from Haifa. I called our upcoming hosts the day before and told them that we couldn't make it last night because I was still too sick to travel, but I should be alright for the next day. They said to give them a call when we were about to get to them to give us directions. OK, no problem (a bit of foreshadowing there)

We went to Rosh Hanikra, a place on the Israeli-Lebanon border where grottoes have been etched into the limestone. There is a cable car that takes you down to the grottoes and a film about the history of the place.

We left there and headed towards Haifa, making a brief stop in Akko. We played musical parking locations before we decided that the vibe wasn't very comfortable, so we left for Haifa. I called our hosts for directions and that is where the story turns. The guy said that he thought we weren't coming, so they made plans and weren't even there.

What? I said that we were coming the next day. He said to give him a call when we were near. He said sorry, but ... next time.

Next time? Right! He didn't offer to help us find a place and basically wished us luck.

Jaime thought it wouldn't be such a problem to get a hotel room in Haifa, not withstanding the price. We went through all of the hotels and most of them were full. Of those that were not full, they were not only expensive, but roach ridden. Once place that we got a room, after taking time to find the building, walking up 4 flights of steps, entering a dingy room and looking around, Natalie opened a drawer and found a 3-inch roach. Ahhhhhh!

Did I mention that it was after 2 am now?

One more place to check in Haifa -- and it had rooms! We got there and it looked promising, except for the prostitutes in the nearby beach parking lot. After a half hour of chaotic activity in the lobby, she came out with a key! And we have garage parking. Premature elation.

The hotel complex was enormous, like a set of three tall office buildings. Once we figured out where the garage entrance was, we realized that it was under and for all the buildings. We didn't know which building we were in or where the elevator would be. We parked by one place and Jaime ran into the lobby to ask the clerk. He came with her and he took us to what he thought was the right building. Wrong. We went back to the first place and went up to the room, but the clerk couldn't get the key to work. He was apologetic and said he didn't know what to say but sorry. He found another room and when we got in, it looked good. That was until Jaime spotted something moving on the floor. A huge @#$%'n roach scrambling around. Shortly, Natalie spotted another ginormous roach scurrying about. If they were any bigger, they would need leashes and collars!

We were soon on to Netanya where our little adventure ends, peacefully. Not pleasantly, just peacefully. We found a perfect parking spot at the beach, and at 4:30, with the kids already asleep, we all slept in the car for a few hours.

Catch-Up Post #3

2008-07-08T15:54:00.013-04:00

Our hosts in Qatzrin (Moshav Quidmat Tzvi) were amazing. Their hospitality has made a big impact on this trip. Shoshi and Yaacov, along with their kids accepted us in their family as if we had always been there.
In this picture, Yaakov is cooking pizzas in a fire burning stove. The night of our arrival he was throwing a party for his 12th grade geography students (something he will repeat a few times). The pizza was great and so was evening getting to know everyone.

Safed was an artists colony we walked around. It had a lot of beautiful doors and structures.

This is the ruins of a synagogue found in the ancient ruins of Qatzrin

Natalie with the River Jordan behind her

Sunset view outside the house we stayed in Qatzrin

We were invited to dinner at a friend's of our hosts who are Druze. Yaakov brought what I think was a 5 gallonish container of freshly milked mild and a huge bag of pears from his orchard peartrees. Here, Shoshi and Noah pose at the dinner spot. Dinner was sitting down on the floor cussions and served over several courses

Jamie and Yaacov

Our dinner hosts.

There were these men in another room playing shesbesh (backgammon). They were playing it so fast that they picked up the dice as fast as they rolled and moved. They were playing long before we got there and long after. After dinner I played to games with one of the "cocky" players. He beat me the first game, but I won the second game and he was shocked (or so I am led to believe). He wanted to play again, but we conveniently had to leave. I told him it is better we leave it tied.

Guest Post, well by link...

2008-07-08T14:16:00.002-04:00

I'm finally feeling a bit better now, and able to, well, we'll just leave it at that. So much has happened on our trip that I would like to invite you to visit my wife's blog to catch up on what I have not been able to do. I will be writing a few catch-up posts to add some picks and storylines.

Just incase you want to see the address before you click, it is:
http://neshamashelanu.blogspot.com/

Catch-Up Post #2

2008-07-06T17:58:00.011-04:00

1st Pic: Noah and Natalie at the Marzipan factory is Kfar Tabor (or Tavor);

2nd pic is a marzipan Elvis in the museum. I just had to include the Elvis pic.

The 3rd picture is from Kibbutz Degania, the first kibbutz in Israel.
The 4th picture is of the shoreline of Lake Kinneret. Notice if you can, the sign which mentions a certain prohibition of swimming and the tiny dots which are humanoid bouncing around in the water. It may be hard to see.

I think the 5th picture is kinda cool.

Unbelievable

2008-07-06T17:28:00.002-04:00

And no, I'm not talking about the scenery. Ughhhhh. Of all times to pick to get sick? And you didn't think I felt stupid enough to deal with a sprained knee? I must have picked up a nasty virus or bug and got laid out for several days. I think it was from something I ate, but Jaime just told me that there is something going around. I ended up at an ER at 3 am (1/2 hr away) to be told what I knew they would say anyway: Go home and wait it out. 2 days later and 8 spikes of 103+ fevers, I went to the local clinic and the doctor said I have gastroenteritis. She said it didn't matter too much if it was a virus or bacterial because the treatment is all the same -- do nothing and let the body do its work. But they ended up giving me 2 IV bags because I was dehydrated from the effects. They were very nice (unlike the doctor we called at night who was yelling at me because I didn't know what my temperature was in Celsius), but they had a difficult time finding my veins. So, if you run into me, I am not a junkie, no matter what my arms look like.

Bet She'an

2008-07-03T16:57:00.003-04:00

Bet She'an is a tel, or a city that has layers of civilization on top civilization. In this case there are 6 thousand years of different people living there, from the Chalcolithic (4th C. BCE), Canaanite, Israelite, Greek, Roman, Early Muslim, just to name a few. It is a fascinating place to walk around because you can see where the archaeological digging has uncovered where one group has literally built on top of another. For instance, the main avenue was Greek built and lined with columns and pools on either side. Then another group came and paved over the street and the mosaics, but you can see places where they show through. The Romans built public bathrooms where it appears that both men and women used them with no apparent division of the sexes. One guide came by and said that if an important person (I assume like a senator or business person) was having a meeting and had to go to the bathroom, they would walk the entire group to the bathroom and continue the meeting or lecture while sitting on the toilet. Now I don't know how true that was, but it was a funny story. The bathrooms consisted of marble posts coming out of the walls so that you could sit between them and do your business.
Come back later to this post, for I will upload some pictures when I get a chance (connection taking too long right now)

Tank Museum, Traffic Jam, and Kibbutz Geva

2008-07-03T13:48:00.005-04:00

We headed out to Kibbutz Geva and stopped a few places along the way. One of the places we went to was a monestary and a tank museum. It was very very hot and the sun was blazing, yet we ate lunch outside under the umbrellas of a nearby cafe next to the tank museum. When we went inside to get tickets, we ran into the same two women from the tunnel tour - Allison and Shelly! How small world again! We watched a movie about the tanks, history and training and then climbed over lots of them outside.

Afterwards we drove up to Kibbutz Geva by taking Highway 6, which is supposed to be a faster toll road. Yeah, right. We got stuck for over an hour waiting for an accident to clear up. We got to Geva and met Noa. We stayed in her brother's apartment, which was next to hers (He is away at school at the moment). She made a delicious dinner for us and we helped clean up afterwards. She took us on a night tour of the kibbutz and saw the cows being milked.

The next morning we had breakfast in the dining hall. It was just like having a meal back in college, except that the whole community, kids and all, ate together. I had some steel cut oatmeal, cucumbers and red peppers, and a hard boiled egg. Everybody brings their own trays, plates and utensils onto a conveyor belt that goes into the dishwasher. Later, we went to Bet She'an, a place where many civilizations were built on top of each other. That will be the next entry.

Catch-Up Post #1

2008-06-30T18:14:00.005-04:00

OK, so a lot has happened in the last few days and we've been so busy that I haven't had much time to include many things.

On Sunday, we took a tour of Jerusalem and the City of David with a tourguide named Judy. While Jaime was on line to get tickets, something small-worldish happened. Someone asked Jaime about tour times (or something along those lines-I don't know because I was in my own world). Next thing I know -- and I'm not clear how this all went down -- but we find out that one of the two women and I went to University of Maryland and lived in the same dorm at the same time! After some narrowing things down, we realized we remembered each other. Jaime had invited Allison and Shelly along with us as we took a tour of Hezekiah's Tunnel, which was the spring fed water source for the City of David.

The tour took us through excavations of the City and where it is theorized that David's "Palace" could have been. The tunnel, was carved out using only stone age tools. It was barely wide enough to walk through and often if you squared your body with the walls you would scrape both sides of you. In the beginning, the water went about mid-thigh and then went down to just above ankle for most of the path. The amazing engineering thing about the tunnel is that in 1750 feet the elevation drop is only 2 feet! Here is a link to a webpage I got some information about it.

Poor Noah, for he freaked out upon the approach to the tunnel and Jaime took one for the team and walked him back to the start. He wouldn't even go in the dry path. Shelly and I took a few pictures and we promised each other that we would email them to each other. It was a nice surprise to run into them. Kinda cool!

After that, we went to the Kotel to go to the Wall. It was amazing to walk right up to it and touch it and see all of the little slips of paper prayers stuck into the crevices. A man walked up to me and asked me a few questions and wanted a donation and gave me a candle.

From there we slipped away into the various markets (ie, Jewish, Arab, Armenian). We meandered from vendor to vendor and bargained and haggled for various items, but in all, we didn't get anything. Eventually we ended up at the Church of the Holy Sepucher and then back through the markets and to our car. I have to admit I was a bit uncomfortable in the Arab section, especially when a group of guys with guns came hurtling down the path and through an alley way as if they were on a serious mission. A Jewish gentleman originally from Manhatten we were talking to outside a Christian tourist shop said they were probably running after a pick-pocketer. We left quite quickly after that.

And thank goodness, it is just a sprained knee. Ace bandage, ibuprofen (and rest). When I asked the doctor if that meant I couldn't hike up Massada, he just shrugged his shoulders and gave me a funny look that said, "Who am I to say?"

So the good news is ...

2008-06-29T17:55:00.010-04:00

It's not broken!

The bad news is that I have to go back to the clinic to see an orthopedic doctor. At best a sprain, at worst a torn miniscus or ligament.
It was what I thought was a minor thing until it didn't go away, and then walking around on the uneven steps there was this twinge. . .
We won't talk about the wait in the Jerusalem emergency clinic, not being able to figure out where to go within the building and how much the whole ordeal cost, ok? Give me some ibuprofen and let's go.

Kibbutz Gevat Brenner

2008-06-28T15:06:00.004-04:00

We met my cousin (my mother's cousin, so what does that make us? I'm bad with figuring that out)
We, along with Yehuda and his son David drove into Kibbutz Gevat Brenner. We saw Levana and Aaron, who's mother, Lily, came to Israel in 1932. She is 96 years old and her awareness drifts in and out. We called my grandmother (Lily's sister) back home in New Jersey from there and all said hello.
We had a wonderful time with them and they were gracious hosts.
Aaron collects clocks and gave Natalie and Noah each a clock to take with them.

Aaron is a curator of the museum in Givat Brenner. He and Levana took us on a private tour and along with Yehuda, filled us in on the history of the place. The Kibbutz has gone through many changes over the years from the way the the families are organized to what they produce to earn an income. In the early years, young children lived in one place, ate in a dining hall and were together most of the time. Within the last 25 years that changed to children living with their families. Many older children eventually moved away and the population of the kibbutz is in decline. The kibbutz used to process orange juice and other agricultural products. Now they have a commercial nursery and sell trees and flowers.

Yehuda and David took me shopping to get a good map and a cooler. Prices are very expensive here. (And so is gas, but I haven't had to fill up yet)

We got back to Ben and Bethami's place late and then headed back to Jerusalem to Sarah and Menachim's place. It is quite late and we have an early start for a guided tour of the city.

We're Here . . .Finally!

2008-06-27T06:55:00.005-04:00

1. A double rainbow before we leave! A good omen?
2. Noodles sitting on a suitcase. I think she wanted us to pack her with us.

3. Me in Heathrow. 4. Our plane to Israel. 5. Welcome to Israel.

Well, we made it! 36 hrs from house to house, that is. The first flight was on Virgin Atlantic to Heathrow starting after 11 pm local time and arrived in London at 11 am local time. The next leg was on El Al and arrived in Tel Aviv at about 11 pm or so local time. I maybe got one hour tortured nodding off sleep on the whole trip. Natalie was way too excited for the first leg and had some "difficult" moments, but Noah was much better than I expected.

We got this notice from the TSA in one of our suitcases. I noticed it after I saw that 2 cans of baking soda that we were bringing for one of our hosts was opened. I wonder what they thought it might be. Hmmmmm...

We are beginning our trip staying with my cousins Ben & Bethami and little Eden in Modiin. My Aunt Rene and Uncle Mike recently moved (retired) here and live down the street too. Jamie and I got a chance to sleep in until 11 am (but 6 am body clock time) and then we assembled to drive into Jerusalem for the afternoon.

We met my other cousin Sarah & Menachem as we entered the Jaffa Gate into the Old City.

Conversation During Lunch

2008-06-24T16:54:00.003-04:00

Bro: I think I knew that last song.
Sis: Yeah, you do. We've heard it before.
-next song-
Bro: Do I know this one? I'm not sure.
Sis: I do . . . I think I do . . . [thinks about it with a slightly furrowed brow] Well, maybe I heard it on the radio.
Bro: You did?
Sis: I think so, maybe.

Silence while they eat and listen

Bro: This song has no words. It's not a real song.
Sis: It's a real song -- It doesn't have to have words.
Bro: That's funny . . . No, weird. Huh.

What to do?

2008-06-23T17:20:00.002-04:00

10 years ago, when Jaime and I traveled across Europe for almost 10 weeks I did something that even today I don't know what possessed me: I kept a travel journal. I never kept a journal, nor have I ever kept to anything that demanded as much consistent attention and discipline as what I created. And as a result, I came away with probably the single most important and valuable artifact from our trip. Because I wrote everything down as I did with the details of what we experienced, I remember a lot of what we did. Jaime often comments that she doesn't remember what I bring up, which is unusual because she never forgets anything [especially when it comes to something I've done], especially with dates and who people are in relation to one another (don't get into an argument over when a song came out in the 80's, let alone any other time) Anyway, the journal has everything, from a synopsis of each experience, tickets for admissions or travel, receipts for food and souvenirs, drawings of people and places, and messages from the people we encountered just to name a few. I even have a 2 page spread of the different labels of bottled water we drank.
I also did this last year when I traveled to England and Holland.
So, this upcoming trip (we leave in 2 days from this post!), I have been wondering what to do. I went out and bought a laptop and a special backpack for it because last year I brought a PDA and a keyboard to do some writing for the book I am writing, which just did not work. The PDA was small and light enough that I could take it anywhere with no problems, but I just couldn't see enough of a screen to make it worth while - especially when you have to contend with over 100+ pages of solid text to read and edit. The laptop should take care of this, but at an obvious price: size and weight.
So, back to the journal idea. I thought that I would use the laptop and its ease at downloading digital pics to create an online journal. Jaime asked if I was going to keep a book journal. I think there is something to be said about having it right in front of you that makes it more real and immediate and intimate. Besides, it is easier to customize. I don't know.
Maybe I'll do both.
Any thoughts out there?

Comedian George Carlin dies at 71

2008-06-23T01:52:00.002-04:00

Not another one. People die all the time, but really folks, this has been a rather shitty year and a half for me. I won't go into all that, but last week we had the sudden death of Tim Russert, who I really admired, and now this: George Carlin.
I will always have an affection for Carlin. There was something about him that just made him feel like the uncle I wish I had. He was edgy, non-conforming, very smart, and just downright funny. I got a chance to see him perform at the National Theater in DC a few years back when Jaime and I would usher there. I laughed so hard that my sides hurt.
And I loved the fact that while he had the 7 Words You Can Never Say On Television routine, he also did voice over for children's programs. What a guy.

So, in honor of the passing of George Carlin, I present to you the words lifted straight from a transcript of his performance of "Filthy Words" (the George Carlin monologue at issue in the Supreme Court case of FCC v. Pacifica Foundation) prepared by the Federal Communications Commission:
The original seven words were, shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits.

Goodbye George.

Up Next: A big trip

2008-06-19T21:59:00.006-04:00

You know that feeling that when you get home from a vacation and then you need vacation? Well it is kinda like that now, but before we leave. We've been planning it since the beginning of the year and now it is almost upon us. Our house is becoming a huge staging area: large suitcases in one area, electric gadgets in another, reading materials on a chair along with gifts or requested items, clothes to be packed and clothes to be thrown away (this has been a good opportunity for me to go through what I have and purge my wardrobe). There's a lot more to be done, but I feel like it is a hurry up and wait sort of thing. Nerves are a bit testy at times.
By the way, we are going as a family to Israel and then I am leaving a few days before them to go to the UK for a solo trip to do [some] research for a novel I am working on.

People have said that we're crazy going at this time, with the economy where it is, gas so expensive and the dollar in such bad shape. In most cases looking back, I'd say yes, but we've done pretty good for ourselves. I've talked before about Couchsurfing -- an amazing project/organization that is about connecting with travelers and hosts all around the world. You can arrange to stay/host people where the only currency exchanged is friendship, new experiences and hopefully a better appreciation for each other. This trip we have managed to arrange to stay with folks for almost the whole trip: with family, friends, and couchsurfing hosts. I will spend one night in a hotel when I arrive late into the UK in the middle of my trip. And the big coup d-Etat was Jaime arranging to swap cars with someone in Israel!
I gotta end this post now--just thought of another thing I need to do right away!

A Random Cool Moment

2008-06-15T23:14:00.007-04:00

I used to sometimes carry a lighter around with me even though I didn't smoke, just so I could be that guy who could whip it out and light someone's cigarette. I don't really know why; it wasn't to pick up women or anything like that. It was just cool in some way. It would be the same if someone needed a pen, a dime, pocket knife, or some other random item of immediate need.

Well today the coolest random need came up and I was there to help out:

I was in Baltimore at the Honfest, a quirky neighborhood festival that is full of beehive hairdos, blue eyeshadow, lots of Spandex and leopard prints, artists and musicians.

As we ambled our way to one of the musical stages, a band was getting ready to play. One of the guitarists called out to the audience and asked, "Is there anybody out there who has a guitar pick? It has to be a heavy guitar pick." Well wouldn't you know it --I happened to slip one into my pocket before leaving home because we were going to have band practice. I reached into my pocket and handed it to the appreciative musician. He then used it to play.
How random is that?

That was much cooler than lighting someone's cigarette.

The Value of Things

2008-06-14T10:14:00.003-04:00

My son is at the age where all money is valuable. I can get him to be very happy if I give him some loose change and he treats it as if I gave him hundreds of dollars. He's going into first grade and he can count the change for how much he has, but he doesn't exactly understand the value of what he has. Neither does his sister, who is going into fourth grade. My son asked if he earned any money for being helpful around the house. I went along with it and gave him the meager change in my pocket; approximately 17 cents - four coins. He was absolutely satisfied with getting that amount.
My daughter has a bit more sense and you can't get away with that anymore, but she still doesn't understand the importance of saving, delaying gratification, or not buying something that is just not worth it. Now she has a heart of gold, mind you, and she will be the first person to volunteer up something for tzedaka (charity/donation), but she too does not understand the value of stuff. For example, (and I'm not saying any kid/person doesn't fight with this impulse) if she has five dollars in her purse, she can't wait until the ice cream truck comes along. She wants to use that money so much that it doesn't matter what she spends it on. And, she will volunteer to buy her brother an ice cream and only requires the appropriate thanks and acknowledgement be given. She even wants to pay for food when we go out. It's a nice quality in her that she is so thoughtful, don't get me wrong.
The other day my son showed me a $20 and informed me that his sister gave it to him. For what? For giving her a piece of some food item that he was eating. A fair trade, they both thought. Even after my questioning.
Now this leads me to another level of not understanding the value of money. At the school I work at I walked into the office and the principal showed me two $100 bills. At first it wasn't such a surprise because every once in a while a kid brings in some Show-And-Tell that they found at home and then, well, shows it to everyone. Or they try to buy some friends, or something like that. In this case, a kid found $300 and brought it in. She bought a very large pencil from one kid for $100 and then a rectangular pencil for another $100. I don't remember enough to say what the third $100 bill fetched, but you get the picture. When questioned about the pencil, the response was, "But it was a very large pencil!"
So, as in many things in life, we need to make a few mistakes to get our sites lined up. For that kid, 2 of the 3 bills were recovered. We've all made poor judgements on money matters and all experienced buyer's remorse or had a V-8 moment. Somewhere in those experiences is where we learn the value of money.
And when you have kids, you learn not to keep it where they can get to it.

OMG! I'm blond!

2008-06-09T21:17:00.002-04:00

It happened!
At the last possible moment, it happened. The kids in the 5th grade all got a 100% on at least one spelling test this quarter. After suffering through most of the year with dismal scores and a lackadaisical effort on the part of some of the students, I threw down the challenge. If 100% get a 100%, I would dye my hair blond. At first, I was fooled into thinking it did happen, and then was disappointed to find out that it was all an elaborate trick. Funny, but not the real thing.
I told the kids that the offer still stood, and up to last week only 3 had yet to make it.
Well, tomorrow is a celebration day for the 5th graders, and to make good on my challenge, I went ahead and got it done.
By the way, most salons are closed on Mondays, or too early for me to get something done after school is out. I got it done at a local Hair Butchery and while it is blond, it is a bit too golden for me. I wanted it to be lighter. My hair is thick, very dark, and according to the stylist, very strong. They kept the stuff (whatever that blue gunk they slather in your hair to bleach it is called) very long and they were worried that if we kept it in any longer it would damage the hair. What do I know.
Picture to come later.

Ooops moments in adult supervision

2008-06-08T10:36:00.002-04:00

A fellow blogger (Treppenwitz) wrote an intersting post about letting his son acquire an almost innocuous looking interesting book and finding out later that there was a definite reason why he took a keen interest in reading it. It is called "Questionable moments in parenting." I think it is something many of us with kids may have experienced at some time. You know, perhaps not the best situation at the time, but laughable later.

Anyway, while I was reading it, I had a flashback of a similar time, but this was not with my kids:

When I was a first year teacher (fourth grade) I thought what a great opportunity for me to take all of my back issues of TIME, Smithsonian, National Geographic, Photograpy, and Art in America, for the kids to use for cut and paste activities in the classroom. All was going just fine until one day I noticed a few boys gathered around an Art in America they seemed a bit overly interested in. At first, I was thinking, "Oh, great, they are taking an interest in art!" Wrong.

What I had discovered was what you probably have realized by now. What is acceptable in the name of Art? The Naked Body. Let me specify: The Nake Female Body! Oh boy! I contained the damage, distracted the boys and confiscated that and every issue of the magazine and luckily never heard anything about it. I was worried for a while that it would come back and I'd have to explain. After all, the family life course I would later come to teach wasn't until fifth grade.

Hell With a Makeover and Customer Service Training is Still HELL

2008-06-02T22:36:00.004-04:00

The dreaded MVA.
The Motor Vehicle Administration office is a place that the thought of visiting can send your brain into shutdown mode. It's an exercise in frustration. It's an endurance test. It's a classic hurry up and wait event.
Imagine if Hell had trained all of their minions in the art of good customer service, would it change anything?
I had to go today to take care of some business that I had to get done as soon as possible. The only window I had was possibly during my lunch break and it should have been a simple task: I had to get a duplicate car registration copy. No biggie, right?
I was impressed with the new facility -- I only had to drive 5 minutes away from work as opposed to an hour away as before. They had several lines for information with friendly and efficient help and lots of windows open with pleasant representatives. The place was clean and had good signage and many displays that showed what number was being served and arrows helping you find the right direction.
I got on line with about 15 people in front of me and got to the information desk in about 7 minutes. Not too bad.
I was given a form to fill out and was told to come right back without getting back in line. Cool.
My number was D175. They were on D130 and E80 and some other lettered series. There was no way I was going to get back in time to pick up my students from recess. I kinda figured that would be the case, but I am quite the optimist. After about 15 minutes I realized that in that time period, only 2 numbers were called in my series. I went back to one of the info people and told them that I had to get back to my class and wondered out loud if there was anything that could be done to help me out. She said she didn't think so, but to, "not let her word be the last one on this subject." She said I should go and talk to the supervisor. Wow.
I waited on line for the supervisor and explained my situation. She took my slip with the number on it and glanced at the display with D134 on it now and looked at me. "I am very sorry you have had to wait for so long. Is there any way you can get back here before 4:30 today? Or even tomorrow?" I said I could probably make it there after school let out. She said that was great and wrote "No Wait" along with her name on the numbered ticket. She said that I wouldn't have to wait in a new line and to just come in. Cool, again! I had hope that I could come back and sail through.
Upon return at 3:45, I showed my D175 ticket to a surprised information person and was again pointed to a supervisor, waited about 15 minutes in line to see, and who after some explaining sent me to an open window. I was happy because the MVA was PACKED with people!
I sat down and gave the clerk my info and she pulled it up. And this is where the beautiful facade began to crumble:
"Uh, this is strange."
"Strange? What?"
"Your registration is not coming up on the computer. Do you actually have a car?"
"Yes, of course. I am actually turning it in now to the dealer and I need a duplicate copy of the registration. I must have thrown it out when cleaning the car."
"That's interesting, because the system says you don't have a car. In fact, it says you have an insurance violation?"
"What?"
"Do you have an '89 Honda?"
"What? '89? I sold that car in the mid 90's. Something like 15 years ago. Why?"
"Well the system won't let you do anything until . . ." She didn't finish that thought, which just sent a cascade of stress through my body.
"That's crazy! When that issue came up, it was dealt with. And it the problem was on your end, not mine. I've must have registered a half dozen cars since then." [really]
So much for getting in and out quickly.
She pleasantly got up to look for a supervisor. The one on duty passed the buck saying that since he didn't handle me he wasn't getting involved. I had to wait until the one I dealt with first came back from her break.
"Please wait nearby until she gets back from her break. She should be back in 10 minutes." I stood nearby within view as 4 people were helped. (remember the 2 people/15 minute pace I mentioned before?) At 4:30 a police officer announced loudly to the whole room that the office is now closed, the front doors will be locked and that you need to leave through the side doors.
(immediate panic)
He then after a pause said that everyone who is inside already will be served. (panic reduced, but not alleviated)
I glanced at the clerk who indicated the supervisor had not returned yet. After yet another person was finished, she said that the supervisor was back, but will come after she finishes with the customer she was now working with. After the clerk finished with the next person, she told me to visit the supervisor 5 windows down.
To make a long story slightly shorter, the supervisor fixed the problem, the clerk processed everything I had (I had a few other things to process) and I was out the door by 5:40ish. Almost 2 hours, not counting the initial visit. On the way out, I counted the number of people who were still waiting to be served. There were about 30 people still waiting.

Bureaucratic systems can be hell. Murphy's Law at work?

On Pins & Needles

2008-05-28T22:30:00.002-04:00

We switched health plans last open season and moved to a plan that allows us to go to any doctor we want instead of only getting an in-network referral. I only mention this because Jaime mentioned to me that now we can get acupuncture and it will be covered by the plan. Before I knew it, she had me signed up for an appointment.
I'm not sure I would have taken the initiative on this, but I thought I'd just go with the flow and see how it pans out. I tend to let my stress gather in my back and get muscle spasms once in a while. After reading up on the ancient Chinese traditional practice, I found it a compelling idea that I was willing to try.
One problem is, that while I intellectually don't have a problem with needles, somewhere my subconscious mind just doesn't share the love. I have (I am a bit embarrassed to admit) passed out, or nearly passed out a few times where needles have been involved. I'm not talking about the occasional flu or Novocaine shot, I'm talking about blood donation/collection or this one time I had some electrical needle thrust into my body at different points (electromyography) and the PT decided somewhere midway that I wasn't exactly well and stopped.
Last week was my first appointment and walked into the office. It was in a house in a residential area, around the back entrance to what would be the basement patio. After filling out the requisite forms and intake meeting, I got my first treatment. My back has been bothering me since college and my days of trampolining around with Gymkana (<---see the video of some of the things we did --I'm getting off track here, and maybe I'll post something about this another time).
It was a good thing that Mr. Li treated my back first, because I was on my stomach and couldn't see the needles being stuck in. In fact, I wasn't sure at first how many he put in because it took me a while to figure out that he wasn't just touching my back to locate a spot, he had been inserting the needles without me realizing it. I think that out of 30-40some needles he put in my body, only 3 of them were uncomfortable enough for me to wince. And let me mention again that I couldn't see them. And another strange thing (or just new to me) is that he put in a few short needles that he put a patch over and kept in until my next visit!
And did it work? Well, let's just say that the side that had been giving me problems recently has not given me any problems at all. And I didn't feel or notice the needles that stayed in all week.
Today I went back for my second treatment. I discussed a few issues wanted to address before I go away on my trip this summer. He treated my back and then had me lie down facing up. He put needles on my arms, stomach, head and legs/ankles. These I did see. I felt like Pinhead from the movie Hellraiser. But it didn't hurt at all (OK, one did hurt, but the rest didn't). I didn't pass out and walked away feeling quite relaxed.
So, will it work? I dunno yet. But I'll stick with it for a while at least.

Counterfeit Busters

2008-05-25T09:36:00.003-04:00

Somehow my daughter got a counterfeit one dollar bill. Yeah, a one dollar bill. I'm not clear on the circumstances of her getting it, but that is not important. My thought was who in their right mind (or criminal mind) would ever bother counterfeit a one dollar bill. It was most likely a gag or a joke someone made out of a bill, but by all accounts, I am told that it looked and felt real, except for the rather lewd pictures that were on it. Thank goodness those pictures did not register in my daughter's radar. Still, she felt a sense of duty and wanted to call the police and report it. Eventually, an agent of the Secret Service felt compelled to come to the house to take a look at it. He was surprised at how good it was for all the markers of a real counterfeit, except again for the pictures. He said he needed to take it and wrote out a receipt for it. My daughter was so proud that she did her civic duty to protect the USA!
As it turns out, the bill was a gag gift brought back from another country by a friend of ours. Somehow she got a hold of it (note to self: it's time to put away certain items in drawers -- kid's are getting curious!).
The Secret Service agent was called and told about where the item came from and how it was acquired. He was interested, because the bill was so real that it was illegal to produce. No one was getting in trouble for it, but they wanted to know more about the whereabouts of its origin.
This reminds me of when I used to work in a bank as a teller. I was the resident counterfeit identifier. For some reason, I was able to quickly identify which bills were real or not. In one year, I must have spotted about 15 $100 bills, much to the chagrin of customers or other tellers. It was exciting, in a way, and I got to fill out forms to send to the secret service.
However, I never got to be visited by an agent!

Appreciating a milestone

2008-05-11T21:51:00.004-04:00

I have been very busy the last week, and after teaching family life for a week, nothing else seems to rise to the level of interesting at the moment.
So I will take a moment to slow down and appreciate something that should not go unnoticed:
Tonight (and this was not the first time), my son read to me a bedtime story. I mention this because somewhere we have transitioned to the point in what I think is one of the other miracles of life: the ability to read. As I listened to him read Green Eggs and Ham, one of his favorites to read, he stopped to show me the pictures and to fill in some background and commentary of what is going on. He was doing some of what I do when I read to him and it is interesting to see him interpret what he is reading.
Each afternoon and/or morning before school, I have him read to me a leveled book from his kindergarten teacher. He is reading above grade level and it is really cool to see him read unfamiliar words and sound them out and think about what they say and mean. You can really see the gears turning.
Those gears are turning a lot easier lately.
It's a beautiful process to watch.

Teaching Family Life, pt 4

2008-04-28T23:30:00.002-04:00

This posting comes with a content warning.
You should also read the previous 3 postings before this one.
This has been quite a year in Family Life. I am reminded by the questions and comments they have how important this unit is for them. You have to take a step back and really look at these questions to get a hold on what these kids are thinking, wondering, worried, or just plain vexed about. I have had quite a few people -- teachers and non-teachers -- tell me they're glad they don't have to teach this, and well, I have to admit, it's not something I would jump up and volunteer for. But I have my game face and try to make it interesting for them. They are in a vulnerable spot and they are truly clueless!
But who can blame them?
AND I can't say that I had anything like this when I was in 5th grade!

Here's the questions from today's batch of boys.

If one egg comes out, does another one grow?
What if a little egg is stuck?
What causes orgasms? <----------We did NOT talk about this in class!!!!
Why do people stick penises in a vagina?
How do you get the egg out?
Why do girls have a period every 28 days?
Where is the most common place to grow hair more?
What is a vagina?
What is a uterus?
Why do they show something so nasty?
When do you get your baby egg?
Why do sometimes the babies die?
I learned that girls grow hair just like boys do.
What's an umbilical cord?
Do babies come from eggs?
How do you get breasts?
Why do boys have a penis?
How does the baby come out?
Why do they need pads and tampons?
What is a pad or tampon?
Um, why do boys eat more than girls?
How do you know when puberty starts?
If the egg comes out of the women, is there going to be another one in its place?
I thought the boy has the egg and when they have sex then the egg gets delivered.
I learned not to look.
What is a flow? (menstrual)
How do voices crack and what makes them do that?
Has a baby ever come out of a woman's butt?
Can the ovary pop and all of the eggs pop?
Do both fallopian tube eggs come out at the same time?
Does fallopian tube blood go down to the uterine lining?
I learned to be glad to be a boy.
What happens when a girl has her period at the same time she has sex?
How many eggs does an ovary have?
If a tampon gets stuck in the vagina, does it bleed and you die?
Where does the milk come from?
When you have a period and the baby is inside, does it hurt the baby?
What if one woman's breast were really big and what if they don't have a size [bra] for it?
What will happen if the egg gets stuck in the fallopian tube?
Does it hurt when a girl bleeds?
I learned what a bra is.
Where will the sperm go if there is no egg?
How can baby twins be in the same place?
When the egg gets fertilized, what happens to the other eggs?
So, young girls get periods, like when they're 9 and older?
Does it hurt when you put a tampon in a vagina?
What does a vagina look like?
Can you get a boy pregnant?
What happens if a woman is pregnant and she doesn't look like it, but a man sperms her, will it affect the baby?
What if a woman runs out of eggs?
Is it true leftover food turns out to be poo in the body?
Why do they show nasty stuff?
What does it mean when you pee and it hurts?
If you have sex twice, do you have two kids?
What is the difference between cow milk and woman's milk?
What is a dick?
Does it hurt a girl when the blood comes out of her?
What would happen if the fallopian tube got clogged up?
How does the sperm meet the vagina?

Teaching Family Life, pt 3

2008-04-25T16:09:00.003-04:00

This posting comes with a content warning.You should also read the previous 2 postings before this one.
Today was a mild twin day. I knew the twin questions would eventually show up-- they usually do -- but I wasn't so ready for some of the other questions or comments.
Here's today's installment:
Girls

Do moms when they are pregnant have to rest a lot?
Is it true that when the baby is coming out that it sucks it's thumb?
Do all babies cry when they come out?
Which is better, cesarean or natural child birth?
Is it possible that you can be 80lbs when you're a baby?
How does your water break?
What would be the signal that you are having a baby?
What part is the labor?
What does peer pressure really mean?
Why does the baby come out crying?
How does the space where the baby comes out close when the baby comes out?
Did you show what you showed to us to the boys?
What does a mid-wife do?
What if the baby is too big and it can't circle around the placenta?
What if a pregnant woman falls , does the baby die or get hurt?
What causes stretch marks?
Can you have a period when you are pregnant?
if you have a belly piercing and you get pregnant, does the belly piercing pop off? Also, HI!
Can you decide when the baby is born?
Does the baby drown in the water that's in the stomach?
What if you were having twins? Would there be enough room?
How do babies survive the water conditions in the stomach?
Why does pregnancy have weird side effects like throwing up?
Can you go to the pool while you're pregnant?
Ms. ***, your clothes are nice.
Does a baby ever get stuck inside you?
So, your parents have to have sex to have their own child. (you can almost hear this person saying, "hmmmm," or "ewwww.")
Is it easy to give birth in water?
If you have 5 kids at the same time, are they going to become smaller or does your stomach just stretch that far?
If you have no breasts to feed your baby, do you just get bottle fed?
If the baby is inside and not had its first breath, how come it is still alive?
Is the baby coming out were women pee, or from the stomach?
Hi Ms. ***, I love your outfit. Mostly your earrings and the necklace. Your matching with gold. You look like a teenager today.
When you give birth, is your tummy still big?

Boys

Do balls pop?
Is a penis like a breast because it has milk?
Does your milk become strawberry milk if you eat too much strawberries?
If you're freezing, would the milk be frozen?
Where does milk come from?
Does the vagina grow when the baby comes out?
If the mom does gymnastics, will that help the baby?
Can your baby drown if you drink too much water?
Can your egg break?
What if two sperms get to the egg at the same time?
How many things do you have in your penis? (I think he was referring to the diagram with lines to different parts)
How do you get blood in to your penis?
How does your penis turn hard?
Do you have to pee out the sperm into the woman?
How is pee formed?
Do balls have colors?
What are testis?
Why do people get acne in puberty?
What happens with triplets?
When is the penis big?
For how long do you get pimples?
If you have twins, will they be smaller than 1 baby?
If a girl is born, does she come with eggs?
Do male seahorses give birth?
What happens if the baby is fat?
What if the baby inside kicks or punches the stomach -- does it hurt?
Does the baby do number 2 or 1 in the mother?
Where does the milk come from if you are breastfeeding?
Is it possible for a 7 year old to have a period?
What happens if you just leave the baby in the belly?
What if you do not know you're pregnant and you drink, is that your fault?
Why do pregnant ladies go to the bathroom a lot?
What if the mom has body problems or mental problems, with it effect the baby?
How do children get conjoined? By the way, nice shirt.
Can a boy and a girl be a twin?
How does a baby fit through a small whole when babies are pretty big?
When your baby is a kid [read older] and does your breasts still make milk?
Because there are two tubes, does it matter if one tube put the egg? Will one tube be a boy or a girl?
When you have a baby, do you still have a period?
How does a woman get milk in her breasts?
How do you get twins?
If there were twins, would they be in the same place?
If there are twins, will one egg go through one of the tubes and the other egg go through the other tube?
Does the woman use the other tube on the right? If so, what is it used for?
How does the baby come out? Does it come out the vagina?
How can the mom push the baby at 5 pounds and the size of a watermelon?
Is it normal when a mom is pregnant that she will get weird food cravings?
Does chocolate milk come out if you eat too much chocolate?

Oh boy! That's a lot of questions. It is amazing to see what they think about after seeing this material. I am also glad that I can answer some of these questions to clear up any misconceptions (pardon the pun). Some of the questions are great and you can see them trying to make sense out of it all. Some of the questions are just bizarro!

Teaching Family Life, pt 2

2008-04-24T23:14:00.004-04:00

This posting comes with a content warning.
You should also read the previous posting before this one.
My previous one should also come with one, but this one just jumps out at you. The girls seem to be a bit more focused on certain concepts here.
Here's some more questions and comments from Family Life, this time it's the girls. This is just a few of them.

The video was nasty and I hope I never see it again.
how come boys can't wear something like a diaper so they won't have wet dreams?
I love your shirt and your flip-flops.
Why are we learning about boys? We are not boys, so why are we learning about them.
If you get hit on your breasts, why does it hurt?
Can I have your top?
Why do boys have wet dreams, and how is this possible?
Hi Ms. ***, I like your earrings
Is it hard for girls who have periods to get in the pool?
I like your shirt and your shoes.
Why do we get disgusted when we hear about boys?
Like your outfit and earrings. No questions.
Why does a boys penis grow bigger? Miss ***, I like your earrings.
How many times does a wet dream happen in a boy's life? PS: Love your earrings!
Do the penises get short?
Luv your shirt. where did you get it and I like spaghetti and french fries!
What is the proper age to start shaving?
Is sperm a germ?
Ms. ***, can I have your earrings and your jeans to wear?
Why do girls go through more puberty than boys?
When boys wake up from having a wet dream, why is their bed wet?
What happens if boys don't have a wet dream?
Is a wet dream a guy version of a period?
Can a girl have a wet dream?
How come wet dreams are not pee?
If somebody hits you on your breast, will it grow? Nice T-shirt.
Ms. ***, I like your T-shirt and the flowers on it.
Why do boys have wet dreams?
When you have wet dreams, does it mean you peed?
Don't forget to give us our homework. And nice top.

Kinda makes me a bit self conscious about what to wear. I always heard that girls are supposed to be more mature than the boys. These questions don't really support this, do they? I don't think I've ever had a group of kids so fixated on wet dreams. Usually they get hung up on the whole twins concept. But then, this group has more than their fair share of twins among them. Go figure!

Teaching Family Life

2008-04-22T22:18:00.004-04:00

I teach fifth grade, so that means that every year I can look forward to teaching the Family Life and HIV/AIDS health unit. Call it Pre-Sex Ed for hormonal upper elementary school students. Every year it seems that the continuum along the developmental scale gets wider and wider. I have gone from not sure any of the girls have started their period when I first started teaching (17 yrs ago) to knowing that a few of them started last year.

Side bar: My wake-up call came a few years ago when a girl came up to my desk and asked if she could go to the nurse. The nurse had made an announcement that we should only send real emergencies down if possible, so I asked a few questions (playfully, mind you) to ascertain the level of need.
"What's wrong?"
"I need to go to the nurse's office."
"You have a headache?"
"No."
"Stomach ache?"
No real answer.
"You're not gonna hurl on me are you?"
"No."
"Did you break something?"
"No."
"Fever?"
"No."
"Dizzy?"
"No."
"Asthma?"
"No."
"Itchy rash?"
"No."
"You bleeding anywhere?"
Silence, followed by a worried look on her face.
Silence, followed by the sudden realization of the problem.
"Uh. . . here's a pass and . . . go . . . I'm . . .sorry, nevermind."
I felt like an ass.

Now I teach the boys and my teammates take the girls. We give each student a note card in which they are required to write either something they learned or something they have a question about. I review them and then answer the ones I can the next session. Some of the questions are straightforward. Some are just plain bizarre.
Here are a few highlights of their questions and comments from the boys:

Where do people have sex?
If they do like it, is it still sexual harassment?
Do steroids affect your dick?
Are there different kinds of sex?
What's the difference between yellow pee and regular pee?
Can you grow hair on your but?
I know that people are crazy in this world.
What if you get circumcised on the penis, does it still grow?
Do girls have sperm too?
I learned why my dick gets hard.
Does sperm affect a girl when you have sex?
Can you die from sex or rape?
Can drugs infect other parts of your body? If so, which parts?
Why are most of the sex laws about girls?
Does sex hurt?
Can a girl rape a boy?
Do you play basketball? <-------yes, someone asked this. Huh?
Why do people have sex to have a baby?
What happens when people make you drink or smoke?
Why do boys get circumcised?
Why do people pay to have sex?
What happens if you ran down the road screaming at night, drinking?
What happens if kids have sex?
What does homo mean?
Where do babies come from?
Why is having sex cool?
Why do people kill themselves when things are not right?
If you have sex, will you get HIV?
Why do people choose to smoke? It's not cool, it's bad for your lungs.
How do you get AIDS?
I learned about hormones.
If you rape someone, but they let you, is that rape?
What is a condom?
Is being gay against the law?
Why does my penis get bigger and hairier?

I had many questions about rape and suicide. They were mentioned briefly in a glossary of terms. It was amazing how some of them seemed to focus in on those items. Usually, it is about twins and all the different kinds - but we haven't gotten to that yet.

There were some questions I am not allowed to answer. For those, like specific sex questions and anything to do with birth control (i.e., condoms), I tell them the standard line: "That is a question that you would have to ask your parents."

I will post more during the run of lessons.

I've been Punk'd!!!!

2008-04-16T19:31:00.002-04:00

I can't believe it. I've been punk'd.
You know the show with Ashton Kutcher that is like Candid Camera?
Ya, by my own co-workers and students!
It was an amazing ruse, to say the least and it got me where I didn't want to see it.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, after being frustrated with the lack of effort and success by many students, I threw down the challenge that if they all got 100% on a spelling test that I would dye my hair blond.
I never saw it coming.
Sometime during the previous week, after I handed out the spelling words, the other teachers had each student fill out an answer sheet with the correct spelling and definitions. An assistant came into my class during the test to "help out and be interested in the results" (read, be an accomplice). While she offered to collect the tests afterwards and help grade, (we often will share grading), she switched the answer sheets to the previously filled out ones.
Not one kid said a word.
As I graded the definitions, she "graded" the words. With each page I got more and more excited. I must admit that I thought it rather unlikely, but I wanted to believe it.

And I did. Hook, line and sinker.

The big reveal was during today's recess as we let the kids have a few extra minutes.

I had no idea what to do or say. A lot of people knew about it and it took the cooperation of a lot of them to make it successful.
I wasn't mad about it and it was rather funny.

But I was really disappointed.
One of my students came up to me sensing my daze and dismay and said,
"But Mr. Selvin, you made me believe I could do it."

The students asked if I was still going to dye my hair blond. I said not at this time, but the offer still stands.

How do you eat?

2008-04-16T00:52:00.002-04:00

You've got to check out this post from The Artful Kisser called Random Conversation #3. I guarantee that you will never look at someone eating the same way.

A Spelling Test, A Challenge, and Blond Hair

2008-04-15T23:41:00.005-04:00

EDITORIAL NOTE: I was going to erase this posting in light of some interesting information that invalidates what happened below. The posting for April 16 explains.

OK, I've done it again. I'll explain that later.

This year I teach science and writing. It is a combination that works and it suits me perfectly. From what I can gather, my students (3 classes of about 26 each) love the science part and tolerate the writing part. Many hate the spelling part.
My philosophy on spelling is that words are very important, and understanding them unlocks many doors to meaning and experience. My spelling program is a combination of spelling, vocabulary and word study. 10 words are selected from relevant curriculum vocabulary and include understanding the definitions, and 10 others are selected as a theme -such as with a spelling rule, prefix/root/suffix, or language origin.
I have done this for the past 15 years or so (with appropriate modifications here and there) and have seen great results from the students on a whole.
But this year I have seen some of the worst results ever.
I have been quite discouraged by many of the students who continually do poorly (I mean awful) on these tests. Parents tell me how they struggle with their kids for hours and how much mental anguish it causes only to have them get a 4 out of 30 possible points. I've had meetings with parents and colleagues about this with no appreciable change.
My first class would get usually get a respectable 80% A's, while my second and third classes would get 75% less than C's and class averages in the 40's and 50's. I tried many strategies to help them, but again, often with no change.
Completely frustrated, I laid down a challenge: If everyone who takes the spelling test gets a 100% on their test, I will dye my hair blond. If at least everyone gets an A, I would throw them some sort of party (I wasn't too specific about that one).
You would have thought that I was offering them a million dollars! That is all they talked about all week. About mid-week, I noticed that kids were studying during recess and helping others who generally don't make the effort. They told me they finished their homework. They told me they took practice tests. They asked me if the definitions they had was what I was looking for.

It was amazing.
Even the students who gave up years ago were into it.

Well, I am happy to say, that all of the students who took the test got a 100% on this test! Even students who never passed the test before!
I asked the students, especially the ones who never or rarely seem to lift a finger, how they felt when they got the 100%. All of them loved it. I told them to savor the feeling; to hold on to it and remember how it felt and what they did to get it.
I asked them if they could do it again.
Most of them raised their hands.
I told them they should be proud of their accomplishment and that now there is no excuse for doing poorly again - and that if any of them needed some support, they should ask -- either from each other or from me.
I told them that while I won't volunteer any more extreme challenges like this one, but if everyone can maintain an A average, I will recognize them with some sort of (non-specific) reward.
And in the meantime, I will be making an appointment in the next few weeks to get my hair dyed blond.
Like Jack Black.

In Search of Long Lost Friends, pt 2

2008-04-13T17:45:00.002-04:00

No, I haven't heard from my friend Steve yet, but I had another breakthrough of a friend I was looking for: my college roommate, Mike. Since we last spoke, we've each gotten married, had a couple of kids and moved a few times.
I had to dig far on the internet to find anything that resembled something that I would guess would be him. As I've found with my name, Steve's and Mike's, there are A LOT of us around. Even with our last names. The trick to finding him was the way I narrowed the search. I remembered my father saying you can eliminate words to search just like you search for words (just use a minus before the term, like, -anthropology, or -Chicago, which came up quite a bit)
But there it was, after page 6 on the umpteenth word I eliminated, a clue.
(Let this also be a cautionary tale for anyone who wants to remain anonymous -- the internet is an amazing place, but also a sticky place for anything put on it.)
On the second call I made, I heard his unmistakable voice. After the initial shock of realizing who just called, we had a really long conversation of catching up. Of course, not nearly long enough to be satisfied, so I'm sure it won't end up there.

During the conversation Mike mentioned something that another lost friend, Mark, once mentioned: the thing about good friends is not how long it is between the times you see each other, but that once you are together it is like you've never been away.

In search of a long lost friend: Degrees of separation

2008-04-09T19:31:00.002-04:00

Friends come and go: it's a fact of life. People enter your life unexpectedly, things click and then before you realize it, they're gone. While I have a few friends, I have even fewer really close friends.
Every once in a while I think about the close friends I have had along the way and wonder how they are doing once our paths diverged. I have a few that I regularly try to look up on the Internet, usually with little luck. For instance, I found my friend Luis, who was a Spanish exchange student from my senior year in high school and have tried to get in touch with him. But to no avail, he has either not responded or I have not reached him properly. I sent him a message in Spanish, but I got no response. I contacted a fellow Couch Surfer (couchsurfing.com) who was located in Grenada, Spain, where I tracked him down working at a local newspaper. She agreed to look him up and deliver my message, but have not heard back. Oh well, maybe it's a hint.

Another friend I wondered about was a good friend at the University of Maryland. Steve and I lived on the same floor in Anne Arundel dorm and we had some really fun times together. We did a lot of fun, offbeat and cheesy things together.
Steve was a year ahead of me and had a single, which I thought was immediately cool coming in as a freshman. But he wasn't the standoffish snob that other single residents seemed to be. I remember enjoying hanging out with him and I felt I could be me.
Steve was a RTVF major (radio TV film) and one day he asked me to be a subject in one of his projects. He took me around the area to several spots and filmed several sequences of me running away from some unknown menace. When I drive through those areas, I think about it.

Confession #1: I remember one evening we went on a quest to find cool dorm wall trophies: the ubiquitous Road Sign. We donned black/camouflage clothes and went out around the campus in search of something to bring back -- and sure enough, we did -- one stop sign and the (I think) women's sign from the bathroom of some building. We added it to our collection of other signs we found or acquired.

I also remember us jumping up on a coffee table in my dorm and lip syncing to Huey Lewis.

Stuff like that.

Confession #2: Steve, my roommate and I once went to a drive-in movie theater. We didn't want to pay per person, so I climbed in the trunk of the car while we went through the gate. Big deal? Well, it was an X-rated movie. LOL!

A couple of weeks ago I looked Steve up again and thought I'd try to filter through the dozens of folks out there with the same first and last name as his and any derivation of Steve. There were quite a few. I was able to find some good candidates, but no phone numbers or emails. But I did find one that was in the entertainment industry on the production side of the camera. I tried to figure a way to reach him, but there just was no way I could figure out how to break in -- it was like there was an information barrier. I even got a hold of an agent of one of the actor/producers who worked with him on a project-- but I left that conversation thinking she thought I was a loony.

I mentioned this to my wife, who is in the last days of her job at a start-up cable TV network. She said to let her see if she can look him up through some of the channels she has. She called me up today with what I hope is great news: She found a producer named Roger who worked with him on a project. He called me up and after filling a bit of background information he said that the Steve he knows is definitely the one I have been looking for. He said he'd look for his number and give him a call.

I hope this one pans out. (film pun intended)

Teaching Family Life / Conversation with a student

2008-04-02T14:34:00.002-04:00

In my school system, 5th grade teachers (who are tenured) teach Family Life. That in itself is worthy of its own posting, and I probably will write something about that.
What I can say now is that we really need to teach this stuff to our kids. They come to us with such strange ideas and misconceptions (sorry about the pun).

Here is a conversation that I had with one of my students today:

"Your mom, is she old?"
"What does old mean? To you, you think I'm old."
"Well, right. But is it possible for your mother be younger than you?"
"What?"
"Your mom . . . Or dad . . . Can they be younger than you?"
"Can your mother or father be younger than you? Is that what you're asking?"
"Yes, is it possible?"

Geographic Illiteracy

2008-03-31T18:55:00.003-04:00

I used to know all of the USA state capitals and a majority of the capitals of the world. It was sort of my effort at world domination! Or perhaps my subconscious effort to pack in as much trivia in my head so I could excel on Jeopardy. More than likely, it was part of my education of world geography that I was exposed to in school and at home. One thing I can do that I saw Al Franken do on TV during an election evening is to actually draw the US out state by state. I do that for my (5th grade) kids each year during elections.

Sadly, it is a rare student who even can name all states, or even a handful of capitals. The only reason they know that Annapolis is the capital of Maryland is because it is ground into them in 4th grade. But even then, many say it is Baltimore or Washington, DC. UGHHH!

Today, when we returned from our spring break, I had a discussion with the kids about what they did and where they went. Several kids said they went overseas -- to Honduras, Viet Nam, Ethiopia, Canada, and France. Once they exhausted the volunteer answers, I cheerfully and expectantly asked if anyone else got a chance to go to another country. My excitement quickly vanished when the first person who raised their hand said they visited another country: Ocean City (Maryland). Double UGGG! New York, Disney World (Florida), and Texas all ensued.

Well, at least Texas has the right to become a separate country, if it was so moved.

Conferenced to Death

2008-03-30T11:18:00.011-04:00

I just participated in a professional conference. I don't think it was my first one, but it certainly was the biggest and most expansive one I remember. It was the National Science Teacher's Association (NSTA) national conference in Boston.
What a monster of a facility!

Here are some highlights, lowlights, and amusingly aggravating moments (it's all in your perspective):
My cousin Hal picked me up from Logan Airport and I stayed with him in Lowell for the first two nights. That was a big help because he was able to guide me through the transportation issues. Lowell was a little over an hour away by train. We missed the 10:45 train to go back Thursday night and had to wait until the 12:10! We sat around watching and listening to some rowdy drunk Bruins fans.
Got up at 5:30 to begin my journey to the first event by 8:00. Maybe not a big deal to some, but those that know me . . .

I didn't get my registration packet in the mail. Not a problem I was told, I just had to get on the super-big line labeled "Registration." I didn't need to register, so there was a line that was labeled, "Problem Solving." But then, I wasn't sure if my problem was the kind they would say to just get in the registration line, which now was almost out the door of the convention hall (I was now in the middle of the line). I had 7 minutes to get to my 8:00 first event-a welcoming first timers breakfast. I was supposed to meet others from my school district there.
I made the jump in lines (See previous post about choosing lines) with some hesitation. Bingo! The asked me my name, printed out all the materials, handed me a nice bag to carry stuff in and sent me on my way. There were 4 catalogs given to me: one for each day. Each one was as thick as a mini-telephone book. There were well over 900 events, workshops, presentations and demonstrations to choose from. Unfortunately, multiple ones I wanted to attend at the same time.

The first breakfast was in another building across from the convention center. I got directions and went out to look for it. Uggh! Without getting into the bitter details, I passed the place (with very poor signage) and continued for a few minutes until I reached a point and asked someone else. Apparently I was not the only one to do this!
The convention center is HUGE. It was about 1/3 of a mile long and the signage was misleading. For example, I looked up at the sign to see what direction to go and it clearly said to go in a counter-clockwise direction. I followed it 3/4 around before finally getting to the room. UGH!

The worst part was rushing to a scheduled event, only to have no one show up to present. This happened a few times.

I got a pedometer from one of the exhibitors late Thursday morning. The first day's tally was over 12k steps. The second day's totals were a dismal 9k. On Saturday, when I got home, I had racked up over 16,600! That's almost 8 miles of walking for just Saturday. The total (and this is approximate) was about 18 miles in the three day period.

They give out so much cool stuff at this place. Lots of free samples, posters, books, student reading material, etc. My luggage weighed 45 pounds when I checked in and my carry-on backpack was another 15 pounds or so. I threw out about a third of the stuff I got that was not worth carrying, so I can only imagine what it could have weighed.

I won a few things, most notably a microscope cleaning kit. I didn't win the torso with all of the internal organs you can see/take out. Also I didn't accept the giant millipede.

I saw Bill Nye, Science Guy, but from the outside hallway. Apparently you have to get to his presentation very early. I was invited to go on a "field trip" to the Harvard Museum of Natural History. There we saw bugs, dinosaur bones, stuffed exotic animals and cool rocks and minerals.

Went to a reception on Thursday evening at the Boston Aquarium. I got to sneak Hal. Open bar and hors d'oeuvres. Cool! Later went to the Black Rose for dinner and drinks and the representative of a publisher our school system's science books picked up our tab!

Friday night I splurged and stayed at the Omni Parker House. When I checked in, the front desk person said, "I'm sorry, but I have to upgrade you to a non-smoking queen."
"Huh? That's what I thought I had"
As I was walking down my hallway looking for my room, I began to realize what she meant. There was an alcove where the doorway should have been and then 3 doors with the number 906. One door said it was the Thomas "Tip" O'Neil Suite.
I was upgraded to a Suite! Suite? Sweet! I won't bother with the details: they were certainly nice. Apparently the restaurant there is famous for inventing the Boston Cream Pie.
No, I didn't try it though.

Daddy, what's this?

2008-03-25T01:05:00.004-04:00

It was another one of those precious kid moments.

"Daddy, what's this?"
"What's what, Noah?"
"This thing. What's this thing inside me?"
He came up to me holding the his skin tightly around one of his testicles.
"That. What's that?"
Trying to remain calm and matter-of-fact, "Oh, that's one of your testicles."
"Oh?"
Trying not to laugh, snort or chuckle,"Uh, yeah. They're called testicles. You have two of them."
There was a brief hesitation upon further inspection.
"Um, I wouldn't exactly do that if I were you."
"Do what?"
"Uh, um, uh, squeeze them like you are doing?"
"No? Why not?"
"Doesn't that hurt?"
"No."
"Well, you remember when you accidently hurt Daddy right there?"
There was a tacit look of vague acknowledgement.
"And it was really painful?"
Nodding head.
"That's why. You should take care not to hurt your testicles becasue when they hurt, they really hurt."
He gives me a look of the kind of acceptance that you get when someone tells you something you have never really experienced but you take it on advisement.
"Trust me. That is why I get kind of protective if you put your foot or knee in that area and tell you strongly not to do that. OK?
"OK."
"Good."

Meeting Hell

2008-03-24T07:57:00.003-04:00

I would venture to say that like them or not, meetings are 90% boring and ineffective. My mind usually wanders off in Attentiondeficitland. Here is a poem that I wrote while actually in a meeting:

Meeting Hell
By David E. Selvin

As I sit here in this meeting,
My mind's attention span is fleeting,
I contemplate actually retreating,
From this place in meeting hell.

But from the clock, it's click and clocking,
My state of mind, it keeps on mocking,
My inner scream, to me, is shocking,
As I hallucinate the ending bell.

Still, I came with no allusion,
Complicit in my blind collusion,
For my schedule’s planned intrusion,
That I’ve come to accept, but dread.

I arrive and check the seating,
Politely smile and say a greeting,
Knowing sanity will take a beating,
Within the confines of my weary head.

Still, although, I'm stuck here sitting,
My stomach lining must be pitting,
A straight jacket soon just might be fitting,
And only time will surely tell.

I hope a response is not required,
They might notice sanity expired,
And ability to reason duly mired,
My interest level a labored sell.

I awake: Is it a nightmare?
I catch myself with an insipid blank stare,
Hearing talking though the stale air,
Not all sure where it’s coming from.

Try to focus. What is the topic?
The planner’s plans were quite myopic,
My mind is on an island tropic,
My body sits here limp and numb.

I hope I don’t get called to answer,
My pulse would rise as if a dancer,
My body pained as if full with cancer,
Reacting like a hammered thumb.

A sympathetic nod of head,
Seems to follow just what is said,
But an EEG would read out "dead,"
An indication not all is well.

I'm not sure what I gain from training,
For what topic that it's pertaining,
The whole experience is very draining,
My angst is what I need to quell.
My angst is what I need to quell.

A Novel, King Arthur, and Trips to England

2008-03-23T21:02:00.003-04:00

For the last 6 years, I have been working on writing a novel. It comes in fits and spurts, but it is mostly done, or so it seems. My blogging friend Senta asked me what I am writing about, so this is an answer to her and to also to me. Me you might ask? Yes, I think I need to refocus myself because it has been a while since I first started.
Background:
The story is about the rise and fall of King Arthur, but written in a more historically accurate time frame. The idea came while taking a shower and reflecting on a radio program I heard that mentioned how the great Arthurian literary works (by Geoffrey of Monmouth, Chrétien de Troyes, and Thomas Mallory, for example) were written between the 12th and 15th centuries. The stories are great in scope and epic in their own right, but they can not be taken seriously as historical works. Many of the stories take place with contemporary backgrounds, making them anachronistic to the time period of the supposed historical Arthur of the 6th century. One glaring example is that the idea of knighthood didn't come about until some 5 or 6 centuries later.
So, what if ... Hmm. I'm a little skiddish in divuldging too much. OK, synopsis: An engineering guy who is disillusioned by his present state in a technological world often finds himself escaping into his own Walter Mitty world only to find himself (through a timewarp caused by something he is working on) in the time and company of the historical Arthur. This Arthur is more a successful war lord than a king. The main character uses what he knows of engineering, management theory, theater, psychology and wits to "engineer" this Arthur into a king worthy of Camelot -- all of which would not happen on its own, thus allowing everything we know about King Arthur and pop culture to take seed.

That is the very basic idea of the story.

Now I've done a fair amount of research into the time period of England in the 5th -6th centuries, especially in the area of the Roman influence on the landscape and culture. I've looked into many things such as warfare and weaponry, clothing, language, and religious practices. The one thing that I felt I needed to do was to actually go to England and get a sense of being there. I wanted to get a feel of the landscape patterns, weather patterns, scope of distances and other intangibles. Last year I went there and in a way, got my bearings. This year I plan to return and do more research and writing to fill in the blanks, work on my settings and descriptions and to tie up some story elements and loose ends.
I can't wait to get it finished and published. I can even see a movie . . .

Anyone out there know an agent that would be willing to help me get my work published? Or an editor who would like to help me out?

I may consider posting select passages or chapters online in the future.

What you get after speed dating?

2008-03-22T00:27:00.002-04:00

Semi-Random Pics Series #1

2008-03-21T23:26:00.005-04:00

I brought a digital camera to my classroom. The camera is fun because I can take as many pictures as I want and not have to worry about wasting film. I must have taken over 300 pictures in one day. My students were complete hams. Too bad I can't post them here (for privacy reasons), because there are some very funny series.

Here, my son and I share a moment before the camera. Actually, I think he took this picture.

This pic is from our trip to San Francisco last summer.

Mt. Tam

Playing In The Band

2008-03-21T00:15:00.006-04:00

The Band Formerly Almost Entirely Unknown As The Racket,
or The Racket.

Well, that is it as of the moment. Apparently there is another band called The Racket, but it is not known whether or not they are still together (their Myspace page is not very current).

The history of our band goes back to the days of the Vegematics back in College Park, MD, and up to recently Shorty B. (Short Bus).

I am the newest member of the band and I'm starting to get the hang of the set of songs we are playing. We play in Doug and Anne's cool and groovy basement in Baltimore. We play a mix of original work and a few covers of the Velvet Underground, Iggy Pop, Tom Waits, just to name a few.
Me

Rod

Anne Doug

Your Rockstar Name

2008-03-15T21:23:00.002-04:00

Well, you can call me Al. Al Neal, that is.
Apparently that is my rock star monicker. You can check out what your name should be if you were a rock star at Rock Star Name Generator. They have a generator for pop, rap and country too.

I like my rap star name better. It is B. B. Nasty. My pop name would be Aaron Meyers and my country name would be Big John Lovett.

What's yours?

Reminders that I'm not 25 anymore

2008-03-15T15:44:00.005-04:00

I read a recent posting from Newscoma. It starts off with the ages of a few beloved notables. The internet is riffe with cute little reminders of "You know you're old if you remember ..." or "Those born after 19 _ _ think that..." You either laugh and comiserate and/or shake your head. Please pass the Tums, Zantac, and raisin bran.
It usually doesn't hurt physically.

Well, this morning I got up and went to my first soccer practice before the spring season. It had been a few months since the last time I laced up, so I thought that wasn't too too bad. I got to put on my new cleats and my new Manchester United jersey on. I did fairly well considering, but . . .

I'm not 25 anymore.

I did my version of warm ups, stretches, etc. I ran around the field and didn't get out of breath. I tripped and fell a few times and got up, sometime a bit slower than I'd have liked, but then again . . .

I'm not 25 anymore.

I got home, slowly took off my stuff and showered. I think it was then all the endorphins wore off because all of a sudden it was quite difficult to go down the steps and walk around.
But no biggie. It will all go away by midweek, when I get ready for another practice or game.
When asked why I still do this season after season, year after year, I just say because . . .

I'm not 25 anymore.

Supermarket Checkout Roulette

2008-03-11T20:07:00.003-04:00

Or, How I Chose Correctly With 9 In Line -vs-2

I knew that getting out quickly would be a challenge. It always is at my local supermarket. When I walked in, I waded through the lines so long they curved down to the right so the end was about 3 isles away. And that was for the "express" lanes.
The guy at the closest lane to the entrance, with his tall frame and tired eyes, echoed the look of resignation that accompanied those that waited behind him.
But that didn't sink in immediately. I was on a mission.

I only had one item and I knew where it was. It was in a middle isle in the middle of the store. Thank goodness it wasn't milk. That was in the farthest corner of the store. I could grab it and sail through the check out.
My, how short term memory is!

Once I looked up and scanned the checkout lanes for an acceptable line, I realized that my temporary giddiness of the potential success of guerrilla shopping was about to be shot down. As I waded deftly through the regular checkout lanes towards the express lanes I realized there were only 2 open and then I remembered the tall guy with the tired eyes. The first and farthest lane had the longest line, so I got to it first. I looked at the next open express lane and it was two deep. The one I got to was at least 9 deep and that guy I took notice of when I walked in was still there.

I did a little visual math that combines a bit of social profiling, product per customer estimation, and maybe even a little actuarial estimation (will I survive long enough if I stay in this line?).
My line had a young lad of high school years who I had never seen before, the other, woman with a beautiful accent and long fingernails who has worked there for a long time, but still asks what code to punch for bok choy or ginger root (last trip's issue).
My immediate instinct to jump ship was buffered by previous experiences: sometimes it is just better to stay put. I made a choice and I should stick with it. After all, the two customers had basketfulls of strange vegetables, which I knew could be a risk factor. Most of the people in my line had as much as they could carry without a basket. It was a dilema.

A woman came in behind me to join the line. We looked at each other and discussed our options. She gave serious consideration to going in the other line, but by the time we agreed that there was no good choice, a bunch of new customers filled it up.

The croupier cried, "No more bets," and the roulette ball was in motion.

As soon as the tall guy with tired eyes grabbed his bags and left, the line lurched forward and the next three customers whizzed through quickly. A quick check at lane 3 showed no movement. I shot a smile and a nod to the woman behind me. She responded with a hopeful "Maybe." The next few customers breezed through without a hitch. Then I noticed that the woman two customers up was having a trouble counting out her exact change. I glanced over to lane three and the 2nd customer was about to heave her basket up on the conveyor belt. Uh oh. In an instant of premature relief, she changed her mind and put the coins back in her bag and handed the cashier a larger bill.
"Can I have a roll of quarters, please?"
The cashier gave her a look like, "What?" with his hands opened and empty.
"Quarters, I want a roll."
It was like that request short circuited him and he did not know how to respond. I looked over to the other line and the cashier was receiving her money. Just one more customer and I've lost.
"Nevermind," was said before I looked back and I could sense a collective sigh of relief.

The guy in front of me was next --and here came an example of what has to be in the style of Murphy's Law, and if it isn't already assigned, I'd like to pose Selvin's Law: When waiting at the checkout in a long line, a new line will open up only when you are about to be next.
I jumped in the 2nd lane, paid and left ahead of lane 3.

I won this round of Supermarket Checkout Roulette!