Whenever, whatever

One of the greatest things about digital cameras is that you can take a gazillion pictures and not worry about wasting film. My mother and I were trekking around some town in the Lake District taking pictures when I shot this gem. I saw the name of the place and thought of a friend of mine with same last name and thought I'd take a picture and send it to her. Little did I know that I'd get more than I bargained for, as my mother was laughing so hysterically that people walking down the street started looking at us like we were crazy. After examining the picture a little closely we could hardly contain ourselves.

Guest Blogger: Neil Adams on supporting live music

I've written on a number of occassions about my travels as a couchsurfer, staying in good folks' homes for what seems to those who have not experienced such a situation a strange idea. But for those of us who know and understand what CouchSurfing is about, it is more about discovering friends you didn't know you had and forging long lasting bonds with people that would otherwise be extras in your own forsaken movie background.
Neil Adams is one such chap who I happened upon and I can wholeheartedly say that I am better for it. He was a wonderful host, bringing me in to his world of hospitality, English countryside, local sports and music, and what I hope is a longstanding friendship. We both share a passion for music and he brought me into the behind the scenes world of his band The Layers. I was able to catch him shortly afterwards at the Couch Crash Festival in New York City and then last year, between Snowmageddons 1 and 2, Neil and I roadtripped to Kentucky to surf with another Couchsurfer that stayed with him who is like Louisville's music royalty, Brigid Kaelin.
Last year, Neil wrote the following piece about getting out and being a part of the music scene which I have asked him if I could repost here.
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Hi, I’m Neil and I’m deeply honoured to be able to guest briefly in David’s blog. I mention the fact that CouchSurfing has brought some brilliant people into my life – David is one of them. We met when David stayed with me for a few days on his travels in England and we had a terrific time. David came and met the guys in The Layers, put in a sterling performance with my soccer team and proved to be great company. He then proceeded to show just how great a friend he is by driving out to see us gig in New York and then, when I arrived in Washington earlier this year during ‘Snowmageddon’, welcomed me into his home and was my co-driver on a road trip to see friends in Louisville.

It’s for experiences like those that you should definitely check out CouchSurfing, make new friends and have crazy adventures with them. While you’re tapping around on the Internet, check out The Layers too, we’d love some more fans in the US – once we hit a critical mass of fans out there we’ll have no option but to come out and tour!
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Low-key adventures in live music.

I realise that in starting a piece of writing with a digression is probably breaking some sort of literary commandment but I am struck, as I title this little passage of ramblings, by the homonymic relationship of low-key and Loki, the Norse trickster god. Low-key and Loki adventures, I imagine, couldn’t be more different...

Although this last week has been very much the former, there’s been evidence of the trickster spirit about this week. The weather, in particular, would seem to have been at the call of some mischievous spirit. Trickster mythology often features a balance, some good and some bad and that would certainly be perspective on the weekend’s gigs. Still, back to some sort of linear narrative...

On Wednesday I popped along to a local open mic evening to meet some friends. It’s one of those events that are sometimes packed, sometimes deserted to the point of eerie. This week was more along the mournfully tolling bell and tumbleweed lines until some of my friends turned up. An old friend of mine kicked off the evening; I sang a little and then made way for Judy. She’s the younger sister of a good friend of mine and is possessed of a voice that could grace stages anywhere in the world. I’m not exaggerating, she’s terrific. As the evening went on we all ended up singing together, the line between audience and performer pretty fuzzy. It wasn’t an epiphany of an evening, just an extremely pleasant evening of making music with friends and being hugely impressed at the talent of people who I see day to day.
It would have been great to have a few more people there to share that with. As a performer, I always feel that I’d like a little bit of an audience, at least. Perhaps I need my ego massaging; perhaps it’s a need to communicate or to feel a part of something. I think that it’s to do with the latter - I really think that music is something that can be shared by a community. I don’t need a huge crowd screaming my name (there must be times when an adoring audience must superficially resemble a lynch mob) but I do enjoy performing a lot more when I feel that it’s entertaining people. I like a bit of banter with a small, appreciative crowd.
I know that I’ve written about this before butI found myself wondering why so many people would stay in of an evening to watch strangers perform on TV talent shows when they could go out and see people in their local communities, sing, dance, act, perform poetry and comedy, present, debate and do all manner of other things – and then meet and talk to those people, join in and get involved. Most of this stuff is going on in every town, free of charge. I know that if you go out to your local open mic there’s a risk of seeing nothing but a bug-eyed hippy poet, an old lady singing wobbly folk songs with a finger in her ear and two slightly stoned teenagers doing a fifteen minute version of ‘Knocking on Heaven’s Door’ and that if there are acts you hate on the TV you can turn over but let’s face it, most people don’t. They sit through the whole thing and then discuss how crap it was the next day at work.
I wonder if it’s the element of risk. We don’t want to be asked to sing along –well, feel free to politely decline. Or we don’t want to risk the performer seeing our expressions when we don’t like what they do? Or is it that we’re just bone idle? Or is it the ‘cool’ issue.
Discuss.
Anyway, give some thought to nipping out to see what’s on down the road. Almost everywhere that I’ve been out to see local musicians perform in their local it’s been a worthwhile and entertaining time.

And on to the weekend’s gigs. On Friday The Layers played at the Green Man festival; more details to follow shortly on the Layers’ blog when I’ve composed something appropriate. I feel honour-bound to mention here how delightful the gang running the Einstein’s Garden stage were – if you’re reading, then thank you, thank you and thrice thank you.
So we had fun, it was wet, we somehow avoided cholera and trench foot. I will expand on the band site, I promise.
There was something else that I picked up on, though, and it’s not just me, that draws me back to the cool issue, above.
Chatting to friends at the festival, we were struck that there were sizeable, enthusiastic crowds in front of stages where what was being performed was not, in our opinions , always that great, either in composition or execution. We can excuse the first on the grounds of taste and the second in that if you love the songs then you don’t notice the mistakes. But not all the time and not all that much.
Actually, it seems to me that people will go and see an act if they’re famous or if the media has held them up as ‘the next big thing’ regardless as to whether they’re that good or not. Some of them are, obviously. Some are really quite poor but still get a much bigger crowd, more money and more kudos than people who are superbly talented but not famous and, crucially, not cool – by some indefinable yardstick.
This quality, though, is simply a marketing invention. It’s like some magic potion that you can sprinkle on anything to make it desirable. Its secret cousin is ‘anti-cool’, formulated in the same laboratory but hushed up, a potion that can be splashed on to anything to make it stink like week-old kitbag.
Well death to cool (I would say that, not cool now, never have been , never will be) – don’t let them control you. Look around you and make up your own mind. And turn off the X factor while you still have one.
Which, in a manner of speaking, brings me on to gig three and a slightly different, if related, point.
The Tourettes played a cricket club barbeque on a day when there simply wasn’t cricket. In the absence of a match, the teams didn’t show up, in spite of the fact that the evening event was supposed to be a fund-raiser for their new pavilion. So we played to a small, friendly crowd.
It was a fun gig to play. We were a little bit over-relaxed in our approach to performance at times, a little improvisation here, a few ‘jazz’ moments while we laughed at ourselves mid-verse but the audience were smiling and asking for more and we felt connected.
The people in the bands that I’m privileged to play in and their loved ones and all the people that help and support us are dear friends to me. More than that, they are my family, my brothers and sisters. The best parts about playing with bands are not restricted to the performances at all. It’s the camaraderie of travelling to a gig, the planning, the rehearsals, the laughter that we share. My life would be so much the lesser without them.
It’s the same when you’re part of a sports team or a troupe of actors.
So I circle back to that first issue. More of us should go out, sing, play create. Make music, comedy, poetry, theatre. Talk about big ideas. Get out from in front of what’s being marketed at us and make our own entertainment – because as we do, the connections between us grow and enrich us.
This might seem like a trivial issue when the world can look as if it’s on the brink of collapse but I really don’t think that it is. I think that getting together to create is the most human thing that we do and that without it, what would we be saving the world for anyway?
So there you have it: the adventure starts here. If that isn’t worth singing about, I don’t know what is.

The Random Traveller/Traveler

Language is a funny thing: full of conventions, rules, stipulations, exceptions, contradictions and a rich lush history. It is amazing what we can find out about language through the words and spellings. I teach my students to look at unfamiliar words and see if there are parts of words that seem similar to others. I teach them Latin and Greek roots and their meanings. I get into it.

Spelling has always been important to me, however in my rush to get ideas down, I may ignore misspellings only to hope that upon proofreading I am able to catch any errors. I teach my students that spelling is vital, but getting your thoughts down is what is most important. All the energy spent on editing can come later. That works in theory, but not always perfectly.

Spellchecking tools have made us lazy and often do not catch mistakes since our language is full of strange words in both spelling and meaning. In addition to all this murky soup we have to navigate, wonderful Noah Webster decided to take it upon himself to make some changes in the spelling of words to make America's English decidedly American. When you are the author of a dictionary you end up having quite a bit of influence on language like that. Colour ----> Color.

However, the history of English, and living languages in general, is more like an evolution of spelling. If you look at historical documents or literature from several centuries ago you find alternate spellings for words you recognize. Until you get a codified set of spellings or rules ( a la Academie francaise) spellings, pronunciations and usage changes like the path of a river. While the British may have been bemoaning America's bastardization of their mother tongue, scholars had been debating the use of -or and -our for some time.
Check out this post from wisegeek.com:
http://www.wisegeek.com/why-does-british-spelling-keep-the-u-in-words-like-colour.htm

What got me thinking about this today is this: I noticed recently that my spelling of "Traveller" is essentially correct, however, it is the British spelling of the word, not American. I find it funny that took me several years to find this out and never really thought about it. Spellcheck didn't find it. I came across the differences quite by accident. Being an American, am I going to change it? Nah, I've kinda gotten attached to it. I think it gives it a certain international flavour.

Giddy

I am giddy with excitement -- another epic trip is starting to go from just talk to actual planning! My wonderful Mum is going to take me to the UK for a 2 week trip -- Half with her and half on my own. Can't wait! Let the research begin.

Fruit Loops: The following is a piece I wrote for my students a few years back. I was reminded of it recently and posted decided to post it now.

Cereal and Fruit Loops

I’m not one who regularly eats breakfast in the morning, although I used to have it every morning when I was growing up. My mother used to get healthy cereals that did not have added sugar, but I still liked them. I would eat Cheerios, Kix, Raisin Bran, and Rice Krispies. When it was cold outside, my mother would make us oatmeal or scrambled eggs. But once a year, or so it seemed, she would buy us a treat; Fruit Loops.

I loved Fruit Loops. I loved the colors and the flavors. I liked how each piece stayed crunchy in the milk. I enjoyed the sweetness that the milk became. In fact, where I normally left the milk that was left over in the bowl, I would either ask for more Fruit Loops to sop it up, or drink the milk from the bowl just to savor it all the more.

I would even alter the way I would eat the cereal. Usually, I would just scoop up and eat up the whole spoonful without really paying any attention to what was going in my mouth. However with Fruit Loops, I would pick out a color and eat only that color first. Then I would pick out another color and eat that all up. I would repeat the process until my favorite color was left. Sometimes, at first, I would try to see how many of one color I could scoop up. By the time I would get down to just one color left, I would only eat one piece at a time.

Last night, I came home from food shopping and brought home a special surprise: a box of Fruit Loops. At night, in bed, I kept thinking of having them in the morning. When I got up, I poured a bowl for me – and one for my son. I felt proud as I sat there sharing something that was dear to me as a kid.

Gotchya

Ok, so I've been put in my place:
Me: Nat, you're weird.
Nat: You know, it's all your fault.
Me: My fault? How is it my fault?
Nat: Because you helped make me. THAT'S why!

Maralynn Logan-Brown

I've written about loss here before -- anything from losing your mind, a familiar object or the loss of parents - in my case a stepfather and father within a year of each other. Loss is a funny thing because no matter what it is that is gone, your reaction to it is often unequal to its perceived importance. Grief is often unfair, sneaky, and patient.
The death of Maralynn Logan-Brown last night wasn't really all that shocking. She had not been able to come back to work as we had all hoped this year and had been giving it the good fight. She had ups and downs, but she had her faith and friends and family there to be with her. She had her own blog set up where we could get regular updates on how things were. Even though she wasn't at work, we were all still connected to her. We knew what was coming.
That is why I was quite confused by my reaction to the news of her death: it wasn't a surprise.
For me, though, I felt the accumulation of all the loss I have had to deal with over the last few years and my own mortality after a car accident I was in were a police officer told me he usually didn't see survivors. I looked at the announcement of her passing and immediately began to lose the understanding of the words I read. I wept.
But I was not alone. Maralynn's presence on this planet was huge. She was more than a wife, mother, friend, teacher. From the moment I met her 6 years ago when I first came to this school I felt like I knew her all my life. I felt that when we sat down next to each other in the staff lounge it would be like we were sitting down next to each other at the dinner table, fireside, or some event or outing. I always felt good when I was around her and I always felt better after seeing her. No matter what.
Walking into my classroom today was up there with one of the hardest things I've had to face and I didn't do it very gracefully. That being said, I have to say that my students are wonderful beings themselves. They are very sympathetic, empathetic and fiercely loyal. I asked them to write their thoughts and memories about Mrs. LB. The following are those comments they wrote:

• I bet Mrs. LB is smiling in heaven and we will always her.
• I remember we once had a gym teacher in [another school]. He was nice, but not like Mrs. LB
• She was always there for us in our troubles.
• She would always let us have a good laugh.
• I'll always remember the afro she had.
• She may be gone, but not to me.
• I've known Mrs. LB since second grade.
• I forgot what her smile is like (sigh)
• I remember how she would always cheer us on if we are having a hard time. Also she would spend time and play with us. I hope she rests in peace.
• I thought Mrs. LB was the sweetest soul in the world.
• When Mrs. LB played with us I could always feel that special place in my heart.
• I'll never forget her.
• When I heard Mrs. LB died, I broke to pieces, but I'll always remember Mrs. LB.
• Mrs. LB always cheered us on. I loved having er as a PE teacher. Her smile is unforgettable.
• Mrs. LB was the most kindest person and most playful person. She is always fun to be around. She will always be missed.
• When I came in fourth grade and met Mrs. LB, [we] got along well. She was fun and cool and I never heard her scream. she was so peaceful and she died in peace. She did not deserve this. We will always love you.
• Sometimes she would play with us and she would make up some new tagging games just for us. She would also play very joyous music and we would dance a lot. [accompanied with a picture of students dancing]
• Cancer may have struck her but she knew what would happen. I'm sure she went down peacefully and with a smile.
• I've known Mrs. LB since kindergarten. I remember in 2nd grade that once when I was sad and my uncle died, she cheered me up and said, "Don't be sad. I'm here!"
• Mrs. LB always was fun and cool. She always took us outside for free time or to play fun games like kickball and she always let us pick what games we wanted to play.
• Mrs. LB never said no to any of our new games. She always let us play and be the kids we are. Mrs. LB loved to see us play and run. She always had us play a new game every day.
• She never said no to us when we were wanting to play a game and she always kept a smile on her face.
• I was her little helper on play day or field day...
• Mrs. LB never yelled and she would stay calm. She let us play any game for a warm up. You could talk to her when you needed help. Most importantly, she was special to us.
• I remember when I was new last year. She took me in as one of her own. We used to always call her Grandma LB. If we had a bad day, she would always find some type of way to cheer us up. I loved her.
• Mrs. LB was a well respected person who everyone that knew her cared for her. Even people who didn't know her cared for her and knew she was a great P.E. teacher.
• Mrs. LB made my experience at [school] a great time. I will never forget how nice a person she was.
• Mrs. LB always cheered us on and she was a great person to know.
• We always used to do gymnastics and with that, we went on the ropes and the "cheese." I always got dizzy on the "cheese"!
• she was caring, playful, and she always made P.E. feel like a home away from home.
• Mrs. LB was the nicest person I have ever known. She was never the mean type.
• Why could a disease like this take such a wonderful person like Mrs. LB?
• Mrs. LB helped me when I was hurt so bad and those stupid doctors couldn't help her when she was hurt.
• She would always play and laugh with us. [accompanied with a picture of the gymnasium]
• Mrs. LB knew how to explain games very nicely so that it looked and sounded fun. And she was always enthusiastic about playing with us. She was fun!
• Mrs. Elby went to heaven. I'm sure she has white wings and a halo.
• Mrs. LB has been here since i was in pre-kindergarten. And for a lot of people, maybe kindergarten or something -- But she'd always put on a smile whenever we went to P.E.
• Mrs. LB was always playful and when we made up a new game, she let us play it right away. Sometimes she even brought music in for us. It was fun with her.

Random Conversation: Selfish Drivers

Car passes us on the right in the shoulder:
Nat: Look at that car! Is that person being mean?
Dad: No. Selfish, perhaps, but not mean. Also dangerous.
Nat: [says like a tongue twister] Selfish shellfish. You know shellfish are not even fish! Selfish?
Dad: You know, selfish, like self, meaning you/yourself and -ish, meaning, like that. It means you only think of yourself.
Nat: Oh, that's what that means. I always wondered about that. I thought it was a kind of fish; a selfish. I thought it was a rude kind of fish and we just called people selfish because they would act like it.

Family Life, 2010: Questions/Comments From Students

Yes, it is that time again. Time to teach fifth graders family life. Call it Sex Education, Lite for 10 year olds. It is a quick survey of a child's journey into puberty and their changing bodies and roles. They didn't have this unit when I was in elementary school, and quite frankly, I'm not sure how I would have reacted to the information that I am required to cover. I must say, though, even though I have taught this unit almost a dozen times, I am still sometimes caught off guard by the knowledge some of the students come in with, misconceptions they have, and questions they ask. Puberty can be an awesome and scary time for kids as I am sure you, the reader, would agree. Strange things happen to your body and quite often they happen without anyone to let you in on the whole process. If you are lucky, you have someone to guide you.
This year is special for me because not only am I a teacher this time around, I am a parent of a fifth grader. All these years I have been presenting this information to kids at school and now it is invading the home front. As the teacher I have plodded through the predictable and unpredictable questions and topics that come up, but it is different when you hear it from your child. It can be quite sobering, if not thought provoking.
And it can be downright quite funny!
So here is another round of questions and comments from students. I am presenting them here because I believe it is important for parents to know what kids are experiencing. The responses here are from the students, written down and handed to the teacher to address where possible. They are anonymously written and screened/answered appropriately according to the guidelines set out by the school system. I am presenting them here with some editorial licence: I am correcting for grammar and spelling where appropriate because I do not wish that to take away from the thoughts and questions they have. This list may be long, but I have also weeded out duplicate or similar responses.
Boys:

1. What is the scrotum?
2. When do men finally finish growing?
3. What does it mean when the penis fills with blood? Will it leave a wet mark or something?
4. I learned that going through puberty is normal.
5. I heard on the news about child abuse where a boy was getting beat with a belt then the child yells, "Child abuse!" then the mother says, "I will give you something to yell about," and kept on spanking him and harder.
6. Where does sperm come from?
7. People say if you get hit in your nuts, you can't have babies!
8. The bladder is made of the foods you eat, right?
9. When does the woman's body stop breast feeding?
10. Is it possible to have three testicles?
11. Do you shave your penis when you're older?
12. Why will we be talking about changes in the bodies of both genders?
13. Does deodorant kill bacteria?
14. Does the man's sperm go through the penis into the woman's body to fertilize the egg?
15. I know that the woman's egg is bigger than the man's sperm.
16. Is there a minimum age to get married?
17. Puberty is when you grow and get hair on your body.
18. Why does pee turn yellow?
19. I learned that you shouldn't embarrass anyone (mostly girls) about what they are going through.
20. If you haven't taken a shower in a couple of months, will you have a lot of acne?
21. If you didn't take care of your body, what would happen?
22. Do some people marry just to not have to take on responsibilities?
23. Can a baby go through puberty?
24. What is the sack underneath your penis and what is in it?
25. Will acne spread?
26. When periods start, will girls be pregnant?
27. What do growth hormones do to your body?
28. How do people get strange thoughts like suicide or they get a sickness just because they take drugs?
29. Does a woman's breasts have milk when they are born?
30. If you squish a testicle, will it break?
31. What age does sperm come out your penis?
32. Can a girl have a penis?
33. What would happen if you drank semen?
34. Is saying someone is fat, is that sexual harassment?
35. Why does the brain send [a signal] to know you're growing up?
36. What are periods?
37. Do girls grow hair on their vagina?
38. How many hormones do you have?
39. I learned there is more to the reproductive system than urine.
40. Can you grow your penis in a different place?
41. What is a wet dream and when does it happen?
42. Can a boy have a period?
43. Why do you get wet dreams?
44. Does acne come more to girls or boys?
45. Can your growth spurt be late?
46. Is it possible to be half boy and half girl?
47. What if you have never had an erection and don't go through puberty until you are 21?
48. How do midgets get so small? Do they stay small or shrink?
49. What color is the semen that comes out of the penis when it gets firm?
50. Do you have puberty when you're 40 and up?
51. Why do we talk about girl stuff when this is a boy class?
52. If the penis is just flesh, what would happen if it was cut off? I mean, would it bleed because we saw the inside of the penis on that video and I didn't see blood.
53. What is a condom?
54. Are the penis and the vagina the same thing?
55. Is it true that for girls, when they get pregnant, they don't have periods?
56. How does hair grow under your armpits?
57. Why are most people going though puberty change at different times?
58. Why do erections happen?
59. Can puberty come at age 8 for boys?
60. Why do we grow hair on our penis?
61. Do men get pregnant?
62. Are we going to learn about virginia? [not edited!]
63. How many growth spurts can one have and how many?
64. Aren't we too young to learn about "sex"?
65. Can you have a small penis when you're an adult?
66. Can a girl sexually harass a boy?
67. What is the difference between humping and sex?
68. Why don't we talk about sex in this class?
69. I learned that a REAL friend has to be TRUSTWORTHY.
70. Why do men tend to go to work and not clean the house or anything?
71. Do animals do the same thing we talked about?
72. How does milk come out of human ladies?
73. Is there a way to alter a child before birth?
74. Why do the hairs on your arms stand up when you are cold? Because I've experienced that like, once or twice.
75. Who were the first human beings in the world? A long time ago, how did people get out babies?
76. Is it possible to have a penis and a vagina?
77. Is it possible for a man to have a vagina?
78. If a man has his penis cut off, how can he use the bathroom?
79. You should not tease a girl about her period.
80. What part of the vagina does the sperm go in to make the egg and get her pregnant?
81. Does the penis have bones?
82. Is it possible for a man to be pregnant?
83. If a boy does not have sperm and he has sex with a girl, will she get pregnant?
84. Do some people grow hair on their penis?
85. Do girls have wet dreams?
86. Do girls grow hair on their vagina?
87. Why can't we talk about condoms?
88. How does a vagina grow?
89. Why are there millions of sperm inside a man's body, but only one ova is sent inside the girl's body?
90. Why can't puberty just happen overnight?
91. If you are having sex with a female who is about to have a baby, do two babies come out?

Wow, and that was with some culling of the cards! Now on to the girl's cards:

1. Who does the baby come from: the boy or the girl?
2. Where does the baby come from? The uterus or the vagina?
3. What is perspiration?
4. If a girl is on her period and she has sex, will she get pregnant?
5. If a tampon gets lost in the vagina, where will it go?
6. How do you know when you're about to have your period?
7. I like pie, do you?
8. Are we going to see what a boy's thing looks like in this class?
9. How do you use a pad?
10. Why do women have a vagina? What do you use it for?
11. Why when you get older boys like girl's boobs and like to stare at butts?
12. What should I do if there is a rapist?
13. What if you ask someone for a dollar or something and he or she says I'll give you a dollar if you let me touch you?
    If you have a friend and she wants to have sex with him, what do we say to that friend?
14. Do boys have a period?
15. What do we do if we really really don't want to see stuff that you show us? Do we have to see it or talk about it?
16. Does it hurt when the baby is growing?
17. I don't get the menstruation part.
18. This is sooo awkward...
19. What if you are a minor and you wanna have sex with a boy that is 25 or something? Is it called rape even if you want it?
20. Do girls have erections?
21. When the penis gets straight when he was next to a girl, does it do that because the mind want the penis to go into the vagina?
22. Why can boys take off their shirts in front of everyone but girls can't? I mean, we all know what we all look like.
23. I am grossed out.
24. Why do you not have bags for throwup?
25. Why does semen mix with sperm?
26. I woke up 2 days ago and I was wet. It was not pee or sweat. I was sticky and wet.
27. Why do we have to know boy stuff?
28. That was plain old nasty. Nasty Nasty Nasty.
29. What triggers the boy to have erections?
30. Do you know the difference of peeing in the bed or having a erection?
31. What happens when you have sex on your period?
32. Do you start to get meaner to others?
33. What if you have your period and you bleed in the pool? What should you do?
34. What age does your period stop?
35. Can your period start at any age?
36. What about panty liners? Are they good to use like pads for the first time?
37. What do boys use to stop wet dreams?
38. How long does your period last?
39. Will you have a period during the night?
40. How long can you leave your pad on your underwear?
41. How does the body happen to make twins?
42. How old do you usually stop your period?
43. What if you are at school and you don't have pads?
44. I am so scared about this.
45. This is so gross!
46. This is weird. ewwww
47. This was an interesting class. I learned something new.
48. I am emotionally scared! Thanks for making that happen!
49. Lalalalalalala hahahaha Happy Day

Well there you go. Did you learn anything? Did anything surprise you? Did anything remind you of when you went through puberty? Did anything make you wince, laugh, cry? I'd love to hear what experiences you might have to share!

Random Conversation: Inventing Cows

Noah: I'm glad cows were invented, or we would never have milk.
Nat: You're wrong. What about goat milk? Sheep?
Noah: Oh yeah. But really, who would put goat milk in cereal? Gross.
Dad: Right. By the way, who invented cows anyway?
Nat: G-d, of course.
Noah: Who invented G-d?
Dad: Interesting question there.
Noah: Who invented G-d's grandmother also?

Random Conversation on line @ Jim's Steaks on South Street

Him: Hey look, it's one of those new one dollar coins. [shows to Her]
Her: Where'd you get that?
Him: In some change earlier. I didn't realize it was a dollar at first.
Her: That's Zachary Taylor. I didn't realize they were finished with the quarters. I think I still need a few of them.
Him: I thought the dollar coins all had Susan B. Anthony on them.
Her: I thought so too, but that's a president. They must be doing something with these too.
Him: Yeah. [looks over coin and hands it to her for inspection]
Her: I'm pretty sure he wasn't the first president, but he was right up there, one of the first few at least.

Video of Student Reciting Pi to 1000 digits

For 2009's Pi Day (March 14) I had challenged my students to see how many digits of pi they could recite. I said, in a thinking out loud but not really directed to anyone voice, "Wouldn't it be cool to see how many digits of pi someone can recite." On Pi Day, a girl in my math class recited off 20 digits of pi, then was followed by several others who pushed it into the 30's, 40's and 50's. When the 50 digit threshold was reached, several students kept it going. If I remember correctly, we had over 2/3 of the entire 5th grade reciting over 20 digits of pi. Soon after one kid approached 150 I sensed a slow down in enthusiasm, so I bet them that if anyone recited 314 digits of pi, I would dye my hair blond. I thought that it was a safe and ridiculous number to reach, so I felt pretty confident that it wouldn't happen. Along came one student who pointed his finger in my face and told me I was going down. The gauntlet was thrown.
Juan, this video was long in getting posted, but is a tribute to you, your drive and tenacity, and just plain awesomeness.

Conversation Between Two Students

J: I like to do dangerous things at home.

K: You'd probably jump off a bridge.

J: I said dangerous, not stupid. Besides, I don't even have a bridge at home!

Why don't we do it in the road?

Dad: [singing out loud, but to himself]
Why don't we do it in the road?
Why don't we do it in the road?
No one will be watching us,
Why don't we do it in the road?
Nat: DAD?!!!
Dad: What?
Nat: DAD?!! You know!
Dad: I know? I know what?
Nat: That song! You know what that song means! . . .Don't you?
Dad: What song?
Nat: You know! Why don't we do IT...!!!
Dad: Huh? IT? What are you talking about?
Nat: IT! You know, doing IT! The song is talking about doing IT!
Dad: Uh, that's not what I'm talking about!
Nat: No? What are you talking about?
Dad: First off, IT could be anything. They don't mention what IT is. They could be talking about thumb wrestling, for all I know.
Noah: Thumb wrestling! That's silly! Why would you want to thumb wrestle in the middle of the road?
Nat: Why would they want to do IT in the middle of the road? That's what I'm talking about.
Noah: Yeah, it does seem like a dumb thing to do, right?
Dad: No, no, no. It is not like that.
Nat: Well, what do you think it is about?
Dad: Dancing!
Nat and Noah: Dancing?!!!
Dad: Yeah, dancing. Haven't you heard the saying, "Dance like no one is watching?"
Nat and Noah: No! [laughing hysterically]
Dad; Yeah, that's why they're saying, "No one will be watching us..." You want to dance like no one is watching!
Noah: You mean like this?!!! [dances very silly while two people walk by and stare]
Nat: Um, exactly Noah! [head gestures towards the onlookers]
Noah: [dances even sillier]
Dad: That's the spirit!

(with my apologies to the Beatles!)

Thinking of Iran and China

I remember Tienanmen Square.
I remember the video that so hauntingly shows the single man in front of the tank.
I remember the sinking feeling of doom and the disintegration of hope in the spark of Democracy.
I think of Iran.
And the random man felled by a pro-government projectile.
And the smiling leader who feigns fortitude and normalcy.
The world watches as it flinches from the memory of that sinking feeling.

And from the freedom of my home, it is with bittersweet brotherhood I write these thoughts for all to see, knowing that in the very places where support might most be appreciated, it would also most likely be blocked.

A letter from a student is better than any kind of validation

I just got a letter from a former student. It caught me off guard as I read it walking through the hallway in our school's office. I try not to get sentimental or emotional at work, but this letter choked me up. You never know what little things you do affect those around you. I keep a lot of the notes I get from my students, but this one is going in a special place for when I am feeling at the end of my rope. I will post the letter below, changing some of the names in it to maintain confidentiality as much as possible. I am not editing for spelling or grammar. That is not important here. What is important is that I am grateful that she thought enough about me and our experience that she took the time and effort to write to me. I am very touched:

May 24, 2009
Hi Mr. Selvin,
It’s been a little while since I was 10 and in your 5th grade class. It was your first year at [the school where I work, WTP], and you were the first male teacher I ever had. The first time I ever met you was during the summer right before school was about to start. I had been at [WTP], helping out teachers get ready for school. I was so anxious, yet nervous at the same time to meet you. As a normal 5th grader would, I kept wondering, “What if he’s really strict? What if he doesn’t like me? What if none of my friends are in that class?” I remember, walking down and seeing an unfamiliar face walking towards me and I asked, “Are you Mr. Selvin”, and you replied “Yep, your Dalia, right?? I think I have you in my class”. I was so surprised that you already knew my name and school hadn’t even started! I already like him I thought to myself.
Now, I currently go to school at [BHS], and am going on my 10th grade year here. This year, I had the privilege of being on [BHS]’s pom team, who won first place in the county in Division 1. So far I have successfully gotten straight A’s throughout this whole year, and am doing best to continue the hard work. High school is nothing like I thought it would be. I thought all the teachers were going to be really strict, and being a freshman, I thought I’d get pushed around a lot. It’s almost the exact opposite. The teachers I’ve had this year have been some of the nicest most generous teachers, with whom many, I’ve developed good friendships with. Completing all 3 years in middle school, I’d love to come back to [WTP] and tell your 5th graders about the whole experience.
Mr. Selvin, you are the one teacher I have shared the most memorable experiences with, which is why I wanted to write to you. Everyday, at about 2:30 when I’m passing [WTP], I look up to the window remembering what it was like to be in 5th grade. My mind begins to flash back to all those times as if it were yesterday.
I remember when you first showed us that game boggle. After that, I fell in love with playing it. I could never forget the talent show of 2005 when Aliya Lydia, Kira, and I , all did the number 2 pencils skit with you. I always wondered if you ever kept the pencil that I had made that you wanted keep, so you could show it to your students the next year.
That year, after we took our fall pictures and we had gotten them back, you had called us up one by one to ask if we were going to buy them. My picture, I hated because I thought I looked like a boy because my hair was pulled back and my head was big. When you saw it you asked why I wasn’t getting it because you thought in fact, I looked very nice. I just wanted you to know that, you telling me that meant a lot to me because as a child, and even now, I am very self-conscious about myself.
During the time when we were talking about civil rights, I brought in a bible that had been my great grandmothers. It had gotten burned when somebody had tried to burn her house down, and she grabbed it before she escaped. My dad was unsure about letting me take it in to school because he thought I might break it because it was so fragile. I begged him to let me show you, because it was something that was special to my family, and I couldn’t help but want to share it with you because I knew you would grasp the importance of it.
I’m not sure if your 5th graders now still have to write the poem book, like we did, but I enjoyed doing it. That was the first time I learned about cinquain poems. One of mines that you liked in particular was called “Snow”. It went…
Snow
Cold, breezy
Rolling, falling, piling
Finally it melts away
Gone?

You told me you liked the last part that said “gone?” because we do wonder if it’s really gone or not. When we first got the assignment that we had to write a poem, I wasn’t very thrilled, but after that, I developed a likeness for it, and now writing poetry is one of my favorite hobbies.
Aside of all those times, you have taught me some of the most valuable lessons on life than anyone has ever given me. At the end of year about this time, I remember you telling us a story about these heavenly gods, and an average man who wanted to be like them. One day the man asked the gods if he could join them and be popular like they are. They said to him, he could join them, but if he didn’t he would have to have a sword hanging over his head, held by just a measly thread. Although I didn’t understand the story that much then, I now understand the reality of it. The more popular you are or try to be, the more you’re a victim of something bad happening to you. This happens a lot in high school because the more popular or well known you are, the more there are people subject to not like you, even if you don’t know them. Rumors get easily passed around, leaving you to deal with a lot of drama. I often think back to that story when in situations like that where I’m the average guy wanting to be with the gods.
This letter is just to show all my appreciation for you and all that youv’e done for me. You prepared me well for middle school so I thank you for that. Continue being the wonderful teacher that you are. I hope yo’ve influenced many of your other students, like you’ve don me. I’ll stop by one day to say hello. If I don’t see you before schools out, I wish you a great rest of the year, and many m ore.
Sincerely,

Random Conversation

N2: Stop that, you're annoying me.
N1: Stop what? I'm not doing anything.
N2: Yes you are! You just moved your drink closer to me and I don't like that!
N1: I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't do anything.
Dad: You know you did something. Your brother has asked you to stop and has told you what he doesn't like about your actions. You need to respect that.
N:1 I didn't do anything.
N:2 Yes you did!
Dad: Look, just ignore her; she's trying to get your goat.
N:2 Goat? I don't even have a goat! How can she be trying to get my goat?
N:1 Goat? That's hilarious! What am I going to do with a goat?
Dad: (shakes his head)

When Pigs Sneeze

The following is an actual conversation between two students in my class today (names are changed):

Pierre: Who made Swine Flu?
Erin: Nobody. It's a virus -- it's a flu.
Pierre: Who do you think made up the name Swine Flu, then.
Erin: Nobody made it up -- it is a flu that pigs get.
Pierre: Then why do they call it Swine Flu? Did someone just give it a funny name?
Erin: No, swine is another name for pig. Probably is like Latin or some other old language. We don't use the word anymore.
Pierre: Oh, so do you get it if a pig sneezes on you?
Erin: Sneezes on you? That's ridiculous! When is a pig gonna sneeze on you? You know they closed a school around here.
Pierre: Yeah, I know.
Erin: So do you think that pigs were running around the school? No!

Family Life, part 3: Round Up

This has been an interesting round for Family Life. This year the boys asked thoughtful questions and also taught me a few things. It never ceases to amaze me to hear/read some of the things they come up with. The language they are using must be indicative of the environment and culture that surrounds them. While some of the questions they ask are standard and predictable, some of them are nothing short of bizarre and off-the-wall! This installment includes the wrap-up of some of the loose ends of the unit and also questions brought up when we had an RN come in as a guest speaker to talk about the birth process --from after conception through birth. We also discussed the Swine Flu a bit, as the school system gave us our own bottle of hand sanitizer along with a public release statement about the way to prevent or reduce the risk of spreading the virus. (what next, condoms?) There aren't any new words or terminology included in this installment, but there are some questions that did test my ability to keep focused and not lose it! Again, please note that for the most part, I have edited the responses to de-emphasize spelling and grammar issues (unless it adds to the interest of the response) so the content of the material here is the focus. For one thing, I have noticed that the kids spell penis many different ways, so in many cases, I have left the spelling the way it is. See how many different ways you can find!

1. After erections, when your ejaculate and have orgazam, is your penis soft?
2. What is a G-string?
3. Is the word pussy slang for vagina?
4. What does sexually active mean?
5. Do you get an erection, ejaculation and then orgasm and what are the differences?
6. There's a hockey team that is called the Washington CAPITALS and they are having a Beard-a-Thon
7. Is there a way you can shave the pubic area?
8. Is your peanis hurting a part of puberty?
9. How can a peenis get excited.
10. How do your balls get hard when you see a hot girl?
11. Can you die from the flu?
12. Can you get the flu if you touch the tissue box and someone else gets up and touches it too?
13. How do you shave the penis hair?
14. I know that the same thing happens to dogs like the erection.
15. If you are gay, how do you have kids with a man? but I'm not gay.
16. Does it hurt if your penis gets an erection and your penis gets bent?
17. Where do babies come out: the vagina or the butt hole?
18. Do girl's vaginas have sweat?
19. Why do girl's boobs grow bigger than ever?
20. Why do boys want to see girls boobs?
21. If a girl sees something exciting, do their vaginas get big?
22. Why do boys bodies have a penas?
23. Do boys eyes get big when you are going through puberty?
24. Is sperm the white stuff in your penis?
25. How are triplets born?
26. Don't eggs take 10 months after having sex?
27. What if your balls start burning because of soap?
28. What is a tampon?
29. If the girl uses all of her eggs, can she still get pregnant?
30. If an animal's blood gets in your body, can you still get HIV?
31. When men lose their hair, can it grow back?
32. How do twins happen when 1 egg [is there]?
33. What produces hormones?
34. Can you have sex while having an erection?
35. Why do some men have men boobs?
36. If your balls get cut, can sperms leak out? [my personal favorite question here!]
37. Why do some women have beards and mustaches?
38. What if you accidentally pee in a girl's vagina while having sex?
39. What is a dooshbag?
40. Can you have only one testicle?
41. Why are babies bald when they are born?
42. As you grow and you have hair on your penits, do you cut off the hair there?
43. When does puberty become the strongest? At what age do most of the things happen?
44. If you have sex before the HIV has shown up in your blood, because it takes about 6 months to show up in the blood, will you get HIV?
45. On which part of the body do you grow hair the most?
46. Can you force sperm out like pee?
47. What happens when you . . . have sex when you still have the baby in your stomach?
48. How do you ejaculate the sperm?
49. Will we grow hair in our pubic area?
50. when semen mixes with the egg, a baby is made, right?
51. How would you know it is not pee if the water broke?
52. What is the cervix?
53. What does it mean to get the tubes tied?
54. Can the baby still be in the woman's stomach if it died?
55. Do twins come out at the same time?
56. Can the baby eat anything?
57. What do you need a C-section for?
58. Does the woman feel weird when the baby is coming out?
59. What if the baby is too fat and cracks the mama's rib cage?
60. What if the baby is born butt first?
61. What is the string in the baby's belly button?
62. What is labor?
63. So, the baby comes out in 40 weeks?
64. Why can't you remember anything when your a baby? (in the stomach)
65. How do you know when the baby is full when it's eating?
66. If there are twins, where would they be?
67. Isn't it true that sometimes when a baby is born that after the mom could get sick?
68. How long does it take to recover? [from labor]
69. What does labor mean and what happens to the woman?

Family Life, Continued...

Note: This post is the second installment of questions from 5th graders taking the Family Life unit. I am presenting this material because I believe it is important to understand what our kids know, don't know, and wonder about. These are actual questions and comments that they have written down on note cards during the unit. While many of these responses are amusing on the surface, they must highlight the seriousness and importance of giving children the appropriate information according to their age and needs in order to make healthy and informed choices. It is also informational for us as adults, too. Several pop culture terms have surfaced that have taken us by surprise. The previous Family Life posting referenced the term ski. This posting will reveal another term that to unsuspecting parents/adults may find a bit disturbing when I explain its meaning. Some of the information in this post may contain explicit language. Be forewarned.
This brings me to another point. How do I address these questions to the kids? That is a good question. First, I must say that I am practiced in the Art of the Straight Face. That is not to say that I don't loose it once in a while when I get a question that is unbelievably bizarre, but for the most part, what the kids write is fairly routine. Most of it I can handle or deflect. When it comes to questions regarding the act of sex, family planning issues, or other taboo subjects, I calmly acknowledge the question and tell them that it might be better if they get that information from their family, doctor, or (insert appropriate person). Once in a while there is a question that is disturbing, to which I have resources to draw upon. I will not be addressing how I have answered any of these questions here directly, sorry. Again, in MOST cases, I will edit these questions only for clarity. I do not want these postings to be more about spelling and grammar, however there will be a few places where I leave the spelling as it is because, well, you'll see.
Enjoy! These are from the boys:

1. Why do you throw up when you get hit in the penis?
2. Is it possible for a woman to get a mustache?
3. What if you tell an adult if you're touched on your private parts and they adults don't believe you?
4. What is semen?
5. When you go through changes, will we get mad sometimes?
6. Will the hair go away when we get older?
7. What happens when a girl gets sexually excited?
8. What does beating your meat mean?
9. When semen hits the surface, doesn't it get hard? Because when ski hits the ground, someone said it hardens. <-----Editor's note and explicit warning! Here's is an eye-opener! In reference to yesterday's comment about semen being called ski, again we were wondering what this one meant about semen hardening. Thanks to an astute staff member, we found out there is a Soulja Boy song called Crank Dat Dance, where a certain term is used: Superman that hoe. Here are part of the lyrics: Soulja Boy Off In This Hoe/Watch me Crank ItWatch me Roll/Watch me Crank Dat Soulja Boy/Then Super Man Dat Hoe. So what does this have to do with semen, or ski, hardening? This is the connection: Apparently, Super man is a verb and this action is to fuck a passed out female from behind, pull out and come on her back, and use it to paste a sheet on her back so that when she wakes up, she has a superhero "cape" on her back. Did you know this? I didn't.
10. Which part of the body creates sweat?
11. Why do girls grow earlier than boys?
12. When you are kicked in you penis, why does it make you want to throw up?
13. When you have sex, how do you know if it's a boy or a girl. <-----Editor's note: I just read a funny posting about Senetor Al Franken. In it, Al is going on a date and his dad figures he needs to tell him about the birds and the bees. When he gets to the part of the female anatomy, Al looks at his dad in surprise and says (and I may be paraphrasing), "What? Girls don't have penises?" Of course, his father became distressed, and of course, Al was just joking.
14. When you have sex, do you get sex diseases?
15. Do girl's vaginas have hair?
16. How does sperm come out when you have sex?
17. Do we have sperm in us now?
18. Why do girls have breasts?
19. When you see something exciting and your balls/penis gets big, is it called horny?
20. When you are kicked in the balls, do the testes hurt?
21. Can an egg get to a lady anytime or is there a certain time?
22. Does puberty start mostly early or mostly late?
23. I thought kidneys cleaned the pubic area.
24. Is another name for panty liners a thong?
25. What is the difference between a training bra and bra?
26. Doesn't having sex with girls with HIV or AIDS give you their disease?
27. How do you ejaculate the sperm?
28. When a girl first has her period, if she uses a tampon, can she die?
29. Why do we go through puberty?
30. Do we go through puberty when we are adults?
31. One time my mom told me that one woman on the radio kissed another woman on the cheek. That was weird!
32. Do animals go through puberty?
33. Does your penis stay bigger after an erection?
34. Is there an egg that comes from both ovaries? (I think he meant do both ovaries send out an egg at the same time)
35. Why does blood come to the penis and make it harden?
36. Why do we have sex?
37. Is there any type of protective gear for when you have sex? 'cause I've heard of condums.
38. Does it hurt a girl when she gets hit in the vagina?
39. Does it hurt a girl if you stick your dick in the vagina?
40. If the Tampax gets stuck, will she die?
41. This one is unedited: If the penus is in a girl's butt, is it true [that afterwards] she gets loose vowels, which is she has to doo doo?

These are from the girls:

1. Is it true that you need to have sex to have babies?
2. What if you caught someone having sex, like your parents or someone and they didn't know. What do you do? (but it never happened to me).
3. What do you do if someone is abusing you?
4. Are we talking about body parts or sex?
5. What is it called if a boy or girl takes a pic then sends it to a boy or girl?
6. This class is so new to me. It feels weird.
7. Why can't you legally say things?
8. If you are a girl and change your sex to a guy, do you still have periods?
9. Why does the girl get periods?
10. PS: I don't have mine yet.
11. My mom told me before I had my, you know what. She said to me if I have sex, I would probably get, you know, so I knew about this because my mom told me.
12. Do people feel weird or embarrassed when they get their purpety?
13. What are some other ways U know that U have U're period?
14. Do tampons feel like pills for yeast?
15. Can you feel blood going through your system?
16. Do you have to start your period to have to be pregnant?
17. If I have my period during school, can I come to U 4a pad?
18. If I have my period on the pool party, can you help me with my tampon? If not, what should I do? (don't say my name if they ask)
19. How long would puberty really last?
20. Do you get cramps be4 your period gets there?
21. What is estrogen?
22. How [does] the pad get thin and longer?
23. Why do boy's penises point more?
24. If you get your period for the first time, how do you keep track of if you have a light, regular, or extra blood flow?
25. What if a girl starts the period at elementary school and the school didn't have pads?
26. What if a girl started the period at home and they ran out of pads and it was too dark to buy pads until the next day?
27. How do you deal with your period when it is unregular and you don't know when it's coming.
28. What should be the first kind of pad we get?
29. What age did you get your period?
30. When you first start getting your period, how would you know which pad size to get?
31. How does puberty happen?
32. How does your period happen?
33. What age would be safe to wear a tampon?
34. When you get your period, does it hurt a lot?
35. Why can't girls and boys be friends without people thinking you're going out?
36. Do you have to sleep with a pad on?
37. If a woman has a hysterectomy, can she still have a baby?
38. If you never have a period, what will happen?
39. Can you get affected by wearing a pad too long?
40. Who made or discovered sex?
41. What if your period lasts 1 day?
42. What if a boy knows that you have "P", what should you do?
43. When you wear a tampon, do you have a string hanging out of your vagina all day?
44. What if you are at school about in high school and you're taking a test and you have your period and you can't leave the room to change? What do you do?
45. When did you first get your period and at what age? When did you know about periods and puberty, and was it disgusting?
46. Can boys get periods?
47. How do you know when your blood comes out from your thing?
48. Why is penis so funnier than sex?
49. What age can a doctor stop looking at your you know what?
50. Isn't there something else that young girls have before they have a period? What is that called?
51. What if you start having your period and if you want to go to the nurse and your teacher is a guy, will they understand what we are going through and not freak OUT!!!
52. Why is the guys penis pointier than the women's?
53. Are discharges kind of like periods?
54. Why do men care about women's bodies so much?
55. When a boy gets erections, how long do they last? Are they like periods and do they come back? Does it hurt when a boy gets erections?
56. Is it possible for males to have babies?
57. If a [boy] loses his penis, what will happen?
58. Do boys have something like a period to show that they are going through puberty?
59. how does the boy's penis get an erection?
60. When you're pregnant, how long does it take for your body to find out your pregnant and start having symptoms?
61. Can you shave the hair on your private parts, or you just let it keep growing?
62. What is labia and tubes?
63. How do the boys get pads?
64. Exactly what is sperm?
65. The first time I get my period, will it be a heavy flow?
66. What do you mean it hardens? (the penis)
67. Do all boys have wet dreams?
68. What does erection mean? I don't understand it.
69. How exactly does an egg and sperm meet?
70. An ejaculation is when sperm comes out of the boy's penis, or is it when the penis hardens?
71. Do you still have your period when you get preg?
72. Do you get preg. every time you have sex?
73. We have thousands of eggs, right? Does that mean when all the eggs are done, [we are] done with having our period?
74. So when the egg cracks, does it mean you're having your you know?
75. Do boys grow hair on their penis?
76. If a male and a female have sex but with a condom, is there still a chance of her still getting pregnant? What does a condom look like?
77. What is the youngest age anyone has had their period?
78. What age do you start your period? (usually)
79. If you're on your period and having sex, what will happen to a girl when you're in high school?
80. Are women the only human group to have babies?