On Pins & Needles

We switched health plans last open season and moved to a plan that allows us to go to any doctor we want instead of only getting an in-network referral. I only mention this because Jaime mentioned to me that now we can get acupuncture and it will be covered by the plan. Before I knew it, she had me signed up for an appointment.
I'm not sure I would have taken the initiative on this, but I thought I'd just go with the flow and see how it pans out. I tend to let my stress gather in my back and get muscle spasms once in a while. After reading up on the ancient Chinese traditional practice, I found it a compelling idea that I was willing to try.
One problem is, that while I intellectually don't have a problem with needles, somewhere my subconscious mind just doesn't share the love. I have (I am a bit embarrassed to admit) passed out, or nearly passed out a few times where needles have been involved. I'm not talking about the occasional flu or Novocaine shot, I'm talking about blood donation/collection or this one time I had some electrical needle thrust into my body at different points (electromyography) and the PT decided somewhere midway that I wasn't exactly well and stopped.
Last week was my first appointment and walked into the office. It was in a house in a residential area, around the back entrance to what would be the basement patio. After filling out the requisite forms and intake meeting, I got my first treatment. My back has been bothering me since college and my days of trampolining around with Gymkana (<---see the video of some of the things we did --I'm getting off track here, and maybe I'll post something about this another time).
It was a good thing that Mr. Li treated my back first, because I was on my stomach and couldn't see the needles being stuck in. In fact, I wasn't sure at first how many he put in because it took me a while to figure out that he wasn't just touching my back to locate a spot, he had been inserting the needles without me realizing it. I think that out of 30-40some needles he put in my body, only 3 of them were uncomfortable enough for me to wince. And let me mention again that I couldn't see them. And another strange thing (or just new to me) is that he put in a few short needles that he put a patch over and kept in until my next visit!
And did it work? Well, let's just say that the side that had been giving me problems recently has not given me any problems at all. And I didn't feel or notice the needles that stayed in all week.
Today I went back for my second treatment. I discussed a few issues wanted to address before I go away on my trip this summer. He treated my back and then had me lie down facing up. He put needles on my arms, stomach, head and legs/ankles. These I did see. I felt like Pinhead from the movie Hellraiser. But it didn't hurt at all (OK, one did hurt, but the rest didn't). I didn't pass out and walked away feeling quite relaxed.
So, will it work? I dunno yet. But I'll stick with it for a while at least.

Counterfeit Busters

Somehow my daughter got a counterfeit one dollar bill. Yeah, a one dollar bill. I'm not clear on the circumstances of her getting it, but that is not important. My thought was who in their right mind (or criminal mind) would ever bother counterfeit a one dollar bill. It was most likely a gag or a joke someone made out of a bill, but by all accounts, I am told that it looked and felt real, except for the rather lewd pictures that were on it. Thank goodness those pictures did not register in my daughter's radar. Still, she felt a sense of duty and wanted to call the police and report it. Eventually, an agent of the Secret Service felt compelled to come to the house to take a look at it. He was surprised at how good it was for all the markers of a real counterfeit, except again for the pictures. He said he needed to take it and wrote out a receipt for it. My daughter was so proud that she did her civic duty to protect the USA!
As it turns out, the bill was a gag gift brought back from another country by a friend of ours. Somehow she got a hold of it (note to self: it's time to put away certain items in drawers -- kid's are getting curious!).
The Secret Service agent was called and told about where the item came from and how it was acquired. He was interested, because the bill was so real that it was illegal to produce. No one was getting in trouble for it, but they wanted to know more about the whereabouts of its origin.
This reminds me of when I used to work in a bank as a teller. I was the resident counterfeit identifier. For some reason, I was able to quickly identify which bills were real or not. In one year, I must have spotted about 15 $100 bills, much to the chagrin of customers or other tellers. It was exciting, in a way, and I got to fill out forms to send to the secret service.
However, I never got to be visited by an agent!

Appreciating a milestone

I have been very busy the last week, and after teaching family life for a week, nothing else seems to rise to the level of interesting at the moment.
So I will take a moment to slow down and appreciate something that should not go unnoticed:
Tonight (and this was not the first time), my son read to me a bedtime story. I mention this because somewhere we have transitioned to the point in what I think is one of the other miracles of life: the ability to read. As I listened to him read Green Eggs and Ham, one of his favorites to read, he stopped to show me the pictures and to fill in some background and commentary of what is going on. He was doing some of what I do when I read to him and it is interesting to see him interpret what he is reading.
Each afternoon and/or morning before school, I have him read to me a leveled book from his kindergarten teacher. He is reading above grade level and it is really cool to see him read unfamiliar words and sound them out and think about what they say and mean. You can really see the gears turning.
Those gears are turning a lot easier lately.
It's a beautiful process to watch.

Teaching Family Life, pt 4

This posting comes with a content warning.
You should also read the previous 3 postings before this one.
This has been quite a year in Family Life. I am reminded by the questions and comments they have how important this unit is for them. You have to take a step back and really look at these questions to get a hold on what these kids are thinking, wondering, worried, or just plain vexed about. I have had quite a few people -- teachers and non-teachers -- tell me they're glad they don't have to teach this, and well, I have to admit, it's not something I would jump up and volunteer for. But I have my game face and try to make it interesting for them. They are in a vulnerable spot and they are truly clueless!
But who can blame them?
AND I can't say that I had anything like this when I was in 5th grade!

Here's the questions from today's batch of boys.

1. If one egg comes out, does another one grow?
2. What if a little egg is stuck?
3. What causes orgasms? <----------We did NOT talk about this in class!!!!
4. Why do people stick penises in a vagina?
5. How do you get the egg out?
6. Why do girls have a period every 28 days?
7. Where is the most common place to grow hair more?
8. What is a vagina?
9. What is a uterus?
10. Why do they show something so nasty?
11. When do you get your baby egg?
12. Why do sometimes the babies die?
13. I learned that girls grow hair just like boys do.
14. What's an umbilical cord?
15. Do babies come from eggs?
16. How do you get breasts?
17. Why do boys have a penis?
18. How does the baby come out?
19. Why do they need pads and tampons?
20. What is a pad or tampon?
21. Um, why do boys eat more than girls?
22. How do you know when puberty starts?
23. If the egg comes out of the women, is there going to be another one in its place?
24. I thought the boy has the egg and when they have sex then the egg gets delivered.
25. I learned not to look.
26. What is a flow? (menstrual)
27. How do voices crack and what makes them do that?
28. Has a baby ever come out of a woman's butt?
29. Can the ovary pop and all of the eggs pop?
30. Do both fallopian tube eggs come out at the same time?
31. Does fallopian tube blood go down to the uterine lining?
32. I learned to be glad to be a boy.
33. What happens when a girl has her period at the same time she has sex?
34. How many eggs does an ovary have?
35. If a tampon gets stuck in the vagina, does it bleed and you die?
36. Where does the milk come from?
37. When you have a period and the baby is inside, does it hurt the baby?
38. What if one woman's breast were really big and what if they don't have a size [bra] for it?
39. What will happen if the egg gets stuck in the fallopian tube?
40. Does it hurt when a girl bleeds?
41. I learned what a bra is.
42. Where will the sperm go if there is no egg?
43. How can baby twins be in the same place?
44. When the egg gets fertilized, what happens to the other eggs?
45. So, young girls get periods, like when they're 9 and older?
46. Does it hurt when you put a tampon in a vagina?
47. What does a vagina look like?
48. Can you get a boy pregnant?
49. What happens if a woman is pregnant and she doesn't look like it, but a man sperms her, will it affect the baby?
50. What if a woman runs out of eggs?
51. Is it true leftover food turns out to be poo in the body?
52. Why do they show nasty stuff?
53. What does it mean when you pee and it hurts?
54. If you have sex twice, do you have two kids?
55. What is the difference between cow milk and woman's milk?
56. What is a dick?
57. Does it hurt a girl when the blood comes out of her?
58. What would happen if the fallopian tube got clogged up?
59. How does the sperm meet the vagina?

Teaching Family Life, pt 3

This posting comes with a content warning.You should also read the previous 2 postings before this one.
Today was a mild twin day. I knew the twin questions would eventually show up-- they usually do -- but I wasn't so ready for some of the other questions or comments.
Here's today's installment:
Girls

1. Do moms when they are pregnant have to rest a lot?
2. Is it true that when the baby is coming out that it sucks it's thumb?
3. Do all babies cry when they come out?
4. Which is better, cesarean or natural child birth?
5. Is it possible that you can be 80lbs when you're a baby?
6. How does your water break?
7. What would be the signal that you are having a baby?
8. What part is the labor?
9. What does peer pressure really mean?
10. Why does the baby come out crying?
11. How does the space where the baby comes out close when the baby comes out?
12. Did you show what you showed to us to the boys?
13. What does a mid-wife do?
14. What if the baby is too big and it can't circle around the placenta?
15. What if a pregnant woman falls , does the baby die or get hurt?
16. What causes stretch marks?
17. Can you have a period when you are pregnant?
18. if you have a belly piercing and you get pregnant, does the belly piercing pop off? Also, HI!
19. Can you decide when the baby is born?
20. Does the baby drown in the water that's in the stomach?
21. What if you were having twins? Would there be enough room?
22. How do babies survive the water conditions in the stomach?
23. Why does pregnancy have weird side effects like throwing up?
24. Can you go to the pool while you're pregnant?
25. Ms. ***, your clothes are nice.
26. Does a baby ever get stuck inside you?
27. So, your parents have to have sex to have their own child. (you can almost hear this person saying, "hmmmm," or "ewwww.")
28. Is it easy to give birth in water?
29. If you have 5 kids at the same time, are they going to become smaller or does your stomach just stretch that far?
30. If you have no breasts to feed your baby, do you just get bottle fed?
31. If the baby is inside and not had its first breath, how come it is still alive?
32. Is the baby coming out were women pee, or from the stomach?
33. Hi Ms. ***, I love your outfit. Mostly your earrings and the necklace. Your matching with gold. You look like a teenager today.
34. When you give birth, is your tummy still big?

Boys

1. Do balls pop?
2. Is a penis like a breast because it has milk?
3. Does your milk become strawberry milk if you eat too much strawberries?
4. If you're freezing, would the milk be frozen?
5. Where does milk come from?
6. Does the vagina grow when the baby comes out?
7. If the mom does gymnastics, will that help the baby?
8. Can your baby drown if you drink too much water?
9. Can your egg break?
10. What if two sperms get to the egg at the same time?
11. How many things do you have in your penis? (I think he was referring to the diagram with lines to different parts)
12. How do you get blood in to your penis?
13. How does your penis turn hard?
14. Do you have to pee out the sperm into the woman?
15. How is pee formed?
16. Do balls have colors?
17. What are testis?
18. Why do people get acne in puberty?
19. What happens with triplets?
20. When is the penis big?
21. For how long do you get pimples?
22. If you have twins, will they be smaller than 1 baby?
23. If a girl is born, does she come with eggs?
24. Do male seahorses give birth?
25. What happens if the baby is fat?
26. What if the baby inside kicks or punches the stomach -- does it hurt?
27. Does the baby do number 2 or 1 in the mother?
28. Where does the milk come from if you are breastfeeding?
29. Is it possible for a 7 year old to have a period?
30. What happens if you just leave the baby in the belly?
31. What if you do not know you're pregnant and you drink, is that your fault?
32. Why do pregnant ladies go to the bathroom a lot?
33. What if the mom has body problems or mental problems, with it effect the baby?
34. How do children get conjoined? By the way, nice shirt.
35. Can a boy and a girl be a twin?
36. How does a baby fit through a small whole when babies are pretty big?
37. When your baby is a kid [read older] and does your breasts still make milk?
38. Because there are two tubes, does it matter if one tube put the egg? Will one tube be a boy or a girl?
39. When you have a baby, do you still have a period?
40. How does a woman get milk in her breasts?
41. How do you get twins?
42. If there were twins, would they be in the same place?
43. If there are twins, will one egg go through one of the tubes and the other egg go through the other tube?
44. Does the woman use the other tube on the right? If so, what is it used for?
45. How does the baby come out? Does it come out the vagina?
46. How can the mom push the baby at 5 pounds and the size of a watermelon?
47. Is it normal when a mom is pregnant that she will get weird food cravings?
48. Does chocolate milk come out if you eat too much chocolate?

Oh boy! That's a lot of questions. It is amazing to see what they think about after seeing this material. I am also glad that I can answer some of these questions to clear up any misconceptions (pardon the pun). Some of the questions are great and you can see them trying to make sense out of it all. Some of the questions are just bizarro!

Teaching Family Life, pt 2

This posting comes with a content warning.
You should also read the previous posting before this one.
My previous one should also come with one, but this one just jumps out at you. The girls seem to be a bit more focused on certain concepts here.
Here's some more questions and comments from Family Life, this time it's the girls. This is just a few of them.

1. The video was nasty and I hope I never see it again.
2. how come boys can't wear something like a diaper so they won't have wet dreams?
3. I love your shirt and your flip-flops.
4. Why are we learning about boys? We are not boys, so why are we learning about them.
5. If you get hit on your breasts, why does it hurt?
6. Can I have your top?
7. Why do boys have wet dreams, and how is this possible?
8. Hi Ms. ***, I like your earrings
9. Is it hard for girls who have periods to get in the pool?
10. I like your shirt and your shoes.
11. Why do we get disgusted when we hear about boys?
12. Like your outfit and earrings. No questions.
13. Why does a boys penis grow bigger? Miss ***, I like your earrings.
14. How many times does a wet dream happen in a boy's life? PS: Love your earrings!
15. Do the penises get short?
16. Luv your shirt. where did you get it and I like spaghetti and french fries!
17. What is the proper age to start shaving?
18. Is sperm a germ?
19. Ms. ***, can I have your earrings and your jeans to wear?
20. Why do girls go through more puberty than boys?
21. When boys wake up from having a wet dream, why is their bed wet?
22. What happens if boys don't have a wet dream?
23. Is a wet dream a guy version of a period?
24. Can a girl have a wet dream?
25. How come wet dreams are not pee?
26. If somebody hits you on your breast, will it grow? Nice T-shirt.
27. Ms. ***, I like your T-shirt and the flowers on it.
28. Why do boys have wet dreams?
29. When you have wet dreams, does it mean you peed?
30. Don't forget to give us our homework. And nice top.

Kinda makes me a bit self conscious about what to wear. I always heard that girls are supposed to be more mature than the boys. These questions don't really support this, do they? I don't think I've ever had a group of kids so fixated on wet dreams. Usually they get hung up on the whole twins concept. But then, this group has more than their fair share of twins among them. Go figure!

Teaching Family Life

I teach fifth grade, so that means that every year I can look forward to teaching the Family Life and HIV/AIDS health unit. Call it Pre-Sex Ed for hormonal upper elementary school students. Every year it seems that the continuum along the developmental scale gets wider and wider. I have gone from not sure any of the girls have started their period when I first started teaching (17 yrs ago) to knowing that a few of them started last year.

Side bar: My wake-up call came a few years ago when a girl came up to my desk and asked if she could go to the nurse. The nurse had made an announcement that we should only send real emergencies down if possible, so I asked a few questions (playfully, mind you) to ascertain the level of need.
"What's wrong?"
"I need to go to the nurse's office."
"You have a headache?"
"No."
"Stomach ache?"
No real answer.
"You're not gonna hurl on me are you?"
"No."
"Did you break something?"
"No."
"Fever?"
"No."
"Dizzy?"
"No."
"Asthma?"
"No."
"Itchy rash?"
"No."
"You bleeding anywhere?"
Silence, followed by a worried look on her face.
Silence, followed by the sudden realization of the problem.
"Uh. . . here's a pass and . . . go . . . I'm . . .sorry, nevermind."
I felt like an ass.

Now I teach the boys and my teammates take the girls. We give each student a note card in which they are required to write either something they learned or something they have a question about. I review them and then answer the ones I can the next session. Some of the questions are straightforward. Some are just plain bizarre.
Here are a few highlights of their questions and comments from the boys:

1. Where do people have sex?
2. If they do like it, is it still sexual harassment?
3. Do steroids affect your dick?
4. Are there different kinds of sex?
5. What's the difference between yellow pee and regular pee?
6. Can you grow hair on your but?
7. I know that people are crazy in this world.
8. What if you get circumcised on the penis, does it still grow?
9. Do girls have sperm too?
10. I learned why my dick gets hard.
11. Does sperm affect a girl when you have sex?
12. Can you die from sex or rape?
13. Can drugs infect other parts of your body? If so, which parts?
14. Why are most of the sex laws about girls?
15. Does sex hurt?
16. Can a girl rape a boy?
17. Do you play basketball? <-------yes, someone asked this. Huh?
18. Why do people have sex to have a baby?
19. What happens when people make you drink or smoke?
20. Why do boys get circumcised?
21. Why do people pay to have sex?
22. What happens if you ran down the road screaming at night, drinking?
23. What happens if kids have sex?
24. What does homo mean?
25. Where do babies come from?
26. Why is having sex cool?
27. Why do people kill themselves when things are not right?
28. If you have sex, will you get HIV?
29. Why do people choose to smoke? It's not cool, it's bad for your lungs.
30. How do you get AIDS?
31. I learned about hormones.
32. If you rape someone, but they let you, is that rape?
33. What is a condom?
34. Is being gay against the law?
35. Why does my penis get bigger and hairier?

I had many questions about rape and suicide. They were mentioned briefly in a glossary of terms. It was amazing how some of them seemed to focus in on those items. Usually, it is about twins and all the different kinds - but we haven't gotten to that yet.

There were some questions I am not allowed to answer. For those, like specific sex questions and anything to do with birth control (i.e., condoms), I tell them the standard line: "That is a question that you would have to ask your parents."

I will post more during the run of lessons.

I've been Punk'd!!!!

I can't believe it. I've been punk'd.
You know the show with Ashton Kutcher that is like Candid Camera?
Ya, by my own co-workers and students!
It was an amazing ruse, to say the least and it got me where I didn't want to see it.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, after being frustrated with the lack of effort and success by many students, I threw down the challenge that if they all got 100% on a spelling test that I would dye my hair blond.
I never saw it coming.
Sometime during the previous week, after I handed out the spelling words, the other teachers had each student fill out an answer sheet with the correct spelling and definitions. An assistant came into my class during the test to "help out and be interested in the results" (read, be an accomplice). While she offered to collect the tests afterwards and help grade, (we often will share grading), she switched the answer sheets to the previously filled out ones.
Not one kid said a word.
As I graded the definitions, she "graded" the words. With each page I got more and more excited. I must admit that I thought it rather unlikely, but I wanted to believe it.

And I did. Hook, line and sinker.

The big reveal was during today's recess as we let the kids have a few extra minutes.

I had no idea what to do or say. A lot of people knew about it and it took the cooperation of a lot of them to make it successful.
I wasn't mad about it and it was rather funny.

But I was really disappointed.
One of my students came up to me sensing my daze and dismay and said,
"But Mr. Selvin, you made me believe I could do it."

The students asked if I was still going to dye my hair blond. I said not at this time, but the offer still stands.

How do you eat?

You've got to check out this post from The Artful Kisser called Random Conversation #3. I guarantee that you will never look at someone eating the same way.

A Spelling Test, A Challenge, and Blond Hair

EDITORIAL NOTE: I was going to erase this posting in light of some interesting information that invalidates what happened below. The posting for April 16 explains.

OK, I've done it again. I'll explain that later.

This year I teach science and writing. It is a combination that works and it suits me perfectly. From what I can gather, my students (3 classes of about 26 each) love the science part and tolerate the writing part. Many hate the spelling part.
My philosophy on spelling is that words are very important, and understanding them unlocks many doors to meaning and experience. My spelling program is a combination of spelling, vocabulary and word study. 10 words are selected from relevant curriculum vocabulary and include understanding the definitions, and 10 others are selected as a theme -such as with a spelling rule, prefix/root/suffix, or language origin.
I have done this for the past 15 years or so (with appropriate modifications here and there) and have seen great results from the students on a whole.
But this year I have seen some of the worst results ever.
I have been quite discouraged by many of the students who continually do poorly (I mean awful) on these tests. Parents tell me how they struggle with their kids for hours and how much mental anguish it causes only to have them get a 4 out of 30 possible points. I've had meetings with parents and colleagues about this with no appreciable change.
My first class would get usually get a respectable 80% A's, while my second and third classes would get 75% less than C's and class averages in the 40's and 50's. I tried many strategies to help them, but again, often with no change.
Completely frustrated, I laid down a challenge: If everyone who takes the spelling test gets a 100% on their test, I will dye my hair blond. If at least everyone gets an A, I would throw them some sort of party (I wasn't too specific about that one).
You would have thought that I was offering them a million dollars! That is all they talked about all week. About mid-week, I noticed that kids were studying during recess and helping others who generally don't make the effort. They told me they finished their homework. They told me they took practice tests. They asked me if the definitions they had was what I was looking for.

It was amazing.
Even the students who gave up years ago were into it.

Well, I am happy to say, that all of the students who took the test got a 100% on this test! Even students who never passed the test before!
I asked the students, especially the ones who never or rarely seem to lift a finger, how they felt when they got the 100%. All of them loved it. I told them to savor the feeling; to hold on to it and remember how it felt and what they did to get it.
I asked them if they could do it again.
Most of them raised their hands.
I told them they should be proud of their accomplishment and that now there is no excuse for doing poorly again - and that if any of them needed some support, they should ask -- either from each other or from me.
I told them that while I won't volunteer any more extreme challenges like this one, but if everyone can maintain an A average, I will recognize them with some sort of (non-specific) reward.
And in the meantime, I will be making an appointment in the next few weeks to get my hair dyed blond.
Like Jack Black.

In Search of Long Lost Friends, pt 2

No, I haven't heard from my friend Steve yet, but I had another breakthrough of a friend I was looking for: my college roommate, Mike. Since we last spoke, we've each gotten married, had a couple of kids and moved a few times.
I had to dig far on the internet to find anything that resembled something that I would guess would be him. As I've found with my name, Steve's and Mike's, there are A LOT of us around. Even with our last names. The trick to finding him was the way I narrowed the search. I remembered my father saying you can eliminate words to search just like you search for words (just use a minus before the term, like, -anthropology, or -Chicago, which came up quite a bit)
But there it was, after page 6 on the umpteenth word I eliminated, a clue.
(Let this also be a cautionary tale for anyone who wants to remain anonymous -- the internet is an amazing place, but also a sticky place for anything put on it.)
On the second call I made, I heard his unmistakable voice. After the initial shock of realizing who just called, we had a really long conversation of catching up. Of course, not nearly long enough to be satisfied, so I'm sure it won't end up there.

During the conversation Mike mentioned something that another lost friend, Mark, once mentioned: the thing about good friends is not how long it is between the times you see each other, but that once you are together it is like you've never been away.

In search of a long lost friend: Degrees of separation

Friends come and go: it's a fact of life. People enter your life unexpectedly, things click and then before you realize it, they're gone. While I have a few friends, I have even fewer really close friends.
Every once in a while I think about the close friends I have had along the way and wonder how they are doing once our paths diverged. I have a few that I regularly try to look up on the Internet, usually with little luck. For instance, I found my friend Luis, who was a Spanish exchange student from my senior year in high school and have tried to get in touch with him. But to no avail, he has either not responded or I have not reached him properly. I sent him a message in Spanish, but I got no response. I contacted a fellow Couch Surfer (couchsurfing.com) who was located in Grenada, Spain, where I tracked him down working at a local newspaper. She agreed to look him up and deliver my message, but have not heard back. Oh well, maybe it's a hint.

Another friend I wondered about was a good friend at the University of Maryland. Steve and I lived on the same floor in Anne Arundel dorm and we had some really fun times together. We did a lot of fun, offbeat and cheesy things together.
Steve was a year ahead of me and had a single, which I thought was immediately cool coming in as a freshman. But he wasn't the standoffish snob that other single residents seemed to be. I remember enjoying hanging out with him and I felt I could be me.
Steve was a RTVF major (radio TV film) and one day he asked me to be a subject in one of his projects. He took me around the area to several spots and filmed several sequences of me running away from some unknown menace. When I drive through those areas, I think about it.

Confession #1: I remember one evening we went on a quest to find cool dorm wall trophies: the ubiquitous Road Sign. We donned black/camouflage clothes and went out around the campus in search of something to bring back -- and sure enough, we did -- one stop sign and the (I think) women's sign from the bathroom of some building. We added it to our collection of other signs we found or acquired.

I also remember us jumping up on a coffee table in my dorm and lip syncing to Huey Lewis.

Stuff like that.

Confession #2: Steve, my roommate and I once went to a drive-in movie theater. We didn't want to pay per person, so I climbed in the trunk of the car while we went through the gate. Big deal? Well, it was an X-rated movie. LOL!

A couple of weeks ago I looked Steve up again and thought I'd try to filter through the dozens of folks out there with the same first and last name as his and any derivation of Steve. There were quite a few. I was able to find some good candidates, but no phone numbers or emails. But I did find one that was in the entertainment industry on the production side of the camera. I tried to figure a way to reach him, but there just was no way I could figure out how to break in -- it was like there was an information barrier. I even got a hold of an agent of one of the actor/producers who worked with him on a project-- but I left that conversation thinking she thought I was a loony.

I mentioned this to my wife, who is in the last days of her job at a start-up cable TV network. She said to let her see if she can look him up through some of the channels she has. She called me up today with what I hope is great news: She found a producer named Roger who worked with him on a project. He called me up and after filling a bit of background information he said that the Steve he knows is definitely the one I have been looking for. He said he'd look for his number and give him a call.

I hope this one pans out. (film pun intended)

Teaching Family Life / Conversation with a student

In my school system, 5th grade teachers (who are tenured) teach Family Life. That in itself is worthy of its own posting, and I probably will write something about that.
What I can say now is that we really need to teach this stuff to our kids. They come to us with such strange ideas and misconceptions (sorry about the pun).

Here is a conversation that I had with one of my students today:

"Your mom, is she old?"
"What does old mean? To you, you think I'm old."
"Well, right. But is it possible for your mother be younger than you?"
"What?"
"Your mom . . . Or dad . . . Can they be younger than you?"
"Can your mother or father be younger than you? Is that what you're asking?"
"Yes, is it possible?"

Geographic Illiteracy

I used to know all of the USA state capitals and a majority of the capitals of the world. It was sort of my effort at world domination! Or perhaps my subconscious effort to pack in as much trivia in my head so I could excel on Jeopardy. More than likely, it was part of my education of world geography that I was exposed to in school and at home. One thing I can do that I saw Al Franken do on TV during an election evening is to actually draw the US out state by state. I do that for my (5th grade) kids each year during elections.

Sadly, it is a rare student who even can name all states, or even a handful of capitals. The only reason they know that Annapolis is the capital of Maryland is because it is ground into them in 4th grade. But even then, many say it is Baltimore or Washington, DC. UGHHH!

Today, when we returned from our spring break, I had a discussion with the kids about what they did and where they went. Several kids said they went overseas -- to Honduras, Viet Nam, Ethiopia, Canada, and France. Once they exhausted the volunteer answers, I cheerfully and expectantly asked if anyone else got a chance to go to another country. My excitement quickly vanished when the first person who raised their hand said they visited another country: Ocean City (Maryland). Double UGGG! New York, Disney World (Florida), and Texas all ensued.

Well, at least Texas has the right to become a separate country, if it was so moved.

Conferenced to Death

I just participated in a professional conference. I don't think it was my first one, but it certainly was the biggest and most expansive one I remember. It was the National Science Teacher's Association (NSTA) national conference in Boston.
What a monster of a facility!

Here are some highlights, lowlights, and amusingly aggravating moments (it's all in your perspective):
My cousin Hal picked me up from Logan Airport and I stayed with him in Lowell for the first two nights. That was a big help because he was able to guide me through the transportation issues. Lowell was a little over an hour away by train. We missed the 10:45 train to go back Thursday night and had to wait until the 12:10! We sat around watching and listening to some rowdy drunk Bruins fans.
Got up at 5:30 to begin my journey to the first event by 8:00. Maybe not a big deal to some, but those that know me . . .

I didn't get my registration packet in the mail. Not a problem I was told, I just had to get on the super-big line labeled "Registration." I didn't need to register, so there was a line that was labeled, "Problem Solving." But then, I wasn't sure if my problem was the kind they would say to just get in the registration line, which now was almost out the door of the convention hall (I was now in the middle of the line). I had 7 minutes to get to my 8:00 first event-a welcoming first timers breakfast. I was supposed to meet others from my school district there.
I made the jump in lines (See previous post about choosing lines) with some hesitation. Bingo! The asked me my name, printed out all the materials, handed me a nice bag to carry stuff in and sent me on my way. There were 4 catalogs given to me: one for each day. Each one was as thick as a mini-telephone book. There were well over 900 events, workshops, presentations and demonstrations to choose from. Unfortunately, multiple ones I wanted to attend at the same time.

The first breakfast was in another building across from the convention center. I got directions and went out to look for it. Uggh! Without getting into the bitter details, I passed the place (with very poor signage) and continued for a few minutes until I reached a point and asked someone else. Apparently I was not the only one to do this!
The convention center is HUGE. It was about 1/3 of a mile long and the signage was misleading. For example, I looked up at the sign to see what direction to go and it clearly said to go in a counter-clockwise direction. I followed it 3/4 around before finally getting to the room. UGH!

The worst part was rushing to a scheduled event, only to have no one show up to present. This happened a few times.

I got a pedometer from one of the exhibitors late Thursday morning. The first day's tally was over 12k steps. The second day's totals were a dismal 9k. On Saturday, when I got home, I had racked up over 16,600! That's almost 8 miles of walking for just Saturday. The total (and this is approximate) was about 18 miles in the three day period.

They give out so much cool stuff at this place. Lots of free samples, posters, books, student reading material, etc. My luggage weighed 45 pounds when I checked in and my carry-on backpack was another 15 pounds or so. I threw out about a third of the stuff I got that was not worth carrying, so I can only imagine what it could have weighed.

I won a few things, most notably a microscope cleaning kit. I didn't win the torso with all of the internal organs you can see/take out. Also I didn't accept the giant millipede.

I saw Bill Nye, Science Guy, but from the outside hallway. Apparently you have to get to his presentation very early. I was invited to go on a "field trip" to the Harvard Museum of Natural History. There we saw bugs, dinosaur bones, stuffed exotic animals and cool rocks and minerals.

Went to a reception on Thursday evening at the Boston Aquarium. I got to sneak Hal. Open bar and hors d'oeuvres. Cool! Later went to the Black Rose for dinner and drinks and the representative of a publisher our school system's science books picked up our tab!










Friday night I splurged and stayed at the Omni Parker House. When I checked in, the front desk person said, "I'm sorry, but I have to upgrade you to a non-smoking queen."
"Huh? That's what I thought I had"
As I was walking down my hallway looking for my room, I began to realize what she meant. There was an alcove where the doorway should have been and then 3 doors with the number 906. One door said it was the Thomas "Tip" O'Neil Suite.
I was upgraded to a Suite! Suite? Sweet! I won't bother with the details: they were certainly nice. Apparently the restaurant there is famous for inventing the Boston Cream Pie.
No, I didn't try it though.

Daddy, what's this?

It was another one of those precious kid moments.

"Daddy, what's this?"
"What's what, Noah?"
"This thing. What's this thing inside me?"
He came up to me holding the his skin tightly around one of his testicles.
"That. What's that?"
Trying to remain calm and matter-of-fact, "Oh, that's one of your testicles."
"Oh?"
Trying not to laugh, snort or chuckle,"Uh, yeah. They're called testicles. You have two of them."
There was a brief hesitation upon further inspection.
"Um, I wouldn't exactly do that if I were you."
"Do what?"
"Uh, um, uh, squeeze them like you are doing?"
"No? Why not?"
"Doesn't that hurt?"
"No."
"Well, you remember when you accidently hurt Daddy right there?"
There was a tacit look of vague acknowledgement.
"And it was really painful?"
Nodding head.
"That's why. You should take care not to hurt your testicles becasue when they hurt, they really hurt."
He gives me a look of the kind of acceptance that you get when someone tells you something you have never really experienced but you take it on advisement.
"Trust me. That is why I get kind of protective if you put your foot or knee in that area and tell you strongly not to do that. OK?
"OK."
"Good."

Meeting Hell

I would venture to say that like them or not, meetings are 90% boring and ineffective. My mind usually wanders off in Attentiondeficitland. Here is a poem that I wrote while actually in a meeting:

Meeting Hell
By David E. Selvin

As I sit here in this meeting,
My mind's attention span is fleeting,
I contemplate actually retreating,
From this place in meeting hell.

But from the clock, it's click and clocking,
My state of mind, it keeps on mocking,
My inner scream, to me, is shocking,
As I hallucinate the ending bell.

Still, I came with no allusion,
Complicit in my blind collusion,
For my schedule’s planned intrusion,
That I’ve come to accept, but dread.

I arrive and check the seating,
Politely smile and say a greeting,
Knowing sanity will take a beating,
Within the confines of my weary head.

Still, although, I'm stuck here sitting,
My stomach lining must be pitting,
A straight jacket soon just might be fitting,
And only time will surely tell.

I hope a response is not required,
They might notice sanity expired,
And ability to reason duly mired,
My interest level a labored sell.

I awake: Is it a nightmare?
I catch myself with an insipid blank stare,
Hearing talking though the stale air,
Not all sure where it’s coming from.

Try to focus. What is the topic?
The planner’s plans were quite myopic,
My mind is on an island tropic,
My body sits here limp and numb.

I hope I don’t get called to answer,
My pulse would rise as if a dancer,
My body pained as if full with cancer,
Reacting like a hammered thumb.

A sympathetic nod of head,
Seems to follow just what is said,
But an EEG would read out "dead,"
An indication not all is well.

I'm not sure what I gain from training,
For what topic that it's pertaining,
The whole experience is very draining,
My angst is what I need to quell.
My angst is what I need to quell.

A Novel, King Arthur, and Trips to England

For the last 6 years, I have been working on writing a novel. It comes in fits and spurts, but it is mostly done, or so it seems. My blogging friend Senta asked me what I am writing about, so this is an answer to her and to also to me. Me you might ask? Yes, I think I need to refocus myself because it has been a while since I first started.
Background:
The story is about the rise and fall of King Arthur, but written in a more historically accurate time frame. The idea came while taking a shower and reflecting on a radio program I heard that mentioned how the great Arthurian literary works (by Geoffrey of Monmouth, Chrétien de Troyes, and Thomas Mallory, for example) were written between the 12th and 15th centuries. The stories are great in scope and epic in their own right, but they can not be taken seriously as historical works. Many of the stories take place with contemporary backgrounds, making them anachronistic to the time period of the supposed historical Arthur of the 6th century. One glaring example is that the idea of knighthood didn't come about until some 5 or 6 centuries later.
So, what if ... Hmm. I'm a little skiddish in divuldging too much. OK, synopsis: An engineering guy who is disillusioned by his present state in a technological world often finds himself escaping into his own Walter Mitty world only to find himself (through a timewarp caused by something he is working on) in the time and company of the historical Arthur. This Arthur is more a successful war lord than a king. The main character uses what he knows of engineering, management theory, theater, psychology and wits to "engineer" this Arthur into a king worthy of Camelot -- all of which would not happen on its own, thus allowing everything we know about King Arthur and pop culture to take seed.

That is the very basic idea of the story.

Now I've done a fair amount of research into the time period of England in the 5th -6th centuries, especially in the area of the Roman influence on the landscape and culture. I've looked into many things such as warfare and weaponry, clothing, language, and religious practices. The one thing that I felt I needed to do was to actually go to England and get a sense of being there. I wanted to get a feel of the landscape patterns, weather patterns, scope of distances and other intangibles. Last year I went there and in a way, got my bearings. This year I plan to return and do more research and writing to fill in the blanks, work on my settings and descriptions and to tie up some story elements and loose ends.
I can't wait to get it finished and published. I can even see a movie . . .

Anyone out there know an agent that would be willing to help me get my work published? Or an editor who would like to help me out?

I may consider posting select passages or chapters online in the future.

What you get after speed dating?

Semi-Random Pics Series #1

I brought a digital camera to my classroom. The camera is fun because I can take as many pictures as I want and not have to worry about wasting film. I must have taken over 300 pictures in one day. My students were complete hams. Too bad I can't post them here (for privacy reasons), because there are some very funny series.

Here, my son and I share a moment before the camera. Actually, I think he took this picture.

This pic is from our trip to San Francisco last summer.

Mt. Tam