Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Supermarket Checkout Roulette

Or, How I Chose Correctly With 9 In Line -vs-2

I knew that getting out quickly would be a challenge. It always is at my local supermarket. When I walked in, I waded through the lines so long they curved down to the right so the end was about 3 isles away. And that was for the "express" lanes.
The guy at the closest lane to the entrance, with his tall frame and tired eyes, echoed the look of resignation that accompanied those that waited behind him.
But that didn't sink in immediately. I was on a mission.

I only had one item and I knew where it was. It was in a middle isle in the middle of the store. Thank goodness it wasn't milk. That was in the farthest corner of the store. I could grab it and sail through the check out.
My, how short term memory is!

Once I looked up and scanned the checkout lanes for an acceptable line, I realized that my temporary giddiness of the potential success of guerrilla shopping was about to be shot down. As I waded deftly through the regular checkout lanes towards the express lanes I realized there were only 2 open and then I remembered the tall guy with the tired eyes. The first and farthest lane had the longest line, so I got to it first. I looked at the next open express lane and it was two deep. The one I got to was at least 9 deep and that guy I took notice of when I walked in was still there.

I did a little visual math that combines a bit of social profiling, product per customer estimation, and maybe even a little actuarial estimation (will I survive long enough if I stay in this line?).
My line had a young lad of high school years who I had never seen before, the other, woman with a beautiful accent and long fingernails who has worked there for a long time, but still asks what code to punch for bok choy or ginger root (last trip's issue).
My immediate instinct to jump ship was buffered by previous experiences: sometimes it is just better to stay put. I made a choice and I should stick with it. After all, the two customers had basketfulls of strange vegetables, which I knew could be a risk factor. Most of the people in my line had as much as they could carry without a basket. It was a dilema.

A woman came in behind me to join the line. We looked at each other and discussed our options. She gave serious consideration to going in the other line, but by the time we agreed that there was no good choice, a bunch of new customers filled it up.

The croupier cried, "No more bets," and the roulette ball was in motion.

As soon as the tall guy with tired eyes grabbed his bags and left, the line lurched forward and the next three customers whizzed through quickly. A quick check at lane 3 showed no movement. I shot a smile and a nod to the woman behind me. She responded with a hopeful "Maybe." The next few customers breezed through without a hitch. Then I noticed that the woman two customers up was having a trouble counting out her exact change. I glanced over to lane three and the 2nd customer was about to heave her basket up on the conveyor belt. Uh oh. In an instant of premature relief, she changed her mind and put the coins back in her bag and handed the cashier a larger bill.
"Can I have a roll of quarters, please?"
The cashier gave her a look like, "What?" with his hands opened and empty.
"Quarters, I want a roll."
It was like that request short circuited him and he did not know how to respond. I looked over to the other line and the cashier was receiving her money. Just one more customer and I've lost.
"Nevermind," was said before I looked back and I could sense a collective sigh of relief.

The guy in front of me was next --and here came an example of what has to be in the style of Murphy's Law, and if it isn't already assigned, I'd like to pose Selvin's Law: When waiting at the checkout in a long line, a new line will open up only when you are about to be next.
I jumped in the 2nd lane, paid and left ahead of lane 3.

I won this round of Supermarket Checkout Roulette!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You must be some kind of genius at figuring probabilities to make this work...that is so true though, I was at the post office waiting forever cuz there were only 2 checkers, and FINALLY when I was going to be next a 3rd line opened up. I am going to make my husband read this to pick up some pointers, he is the absolute worst at picking check out lines! And he gets so angry, he'd be the guy standing there with steam coming out his ears...