Maralynn Logan-Brown

I've written about loss here before -- anything from losing your mind, a familiar object or the loss of parents - in my case a stepfather and father within a year of each other. Loss is a funny thing because no matter what it is that is gone, your reaction to it is often unequal to its perceived importance. Grief is often unfair, sneaky, and patient.
The death of Maralynn Logan-Brown last night wasn't really all that shocking. She had not been able to come back to work as we had all hoped this year and had been giving it the good fight. She had ups and downs, but she had her faith and friends and family there to be with her. She had her own blog set up where we could get regular updates on how things were. Even though she wasn't at work, we were all still connected to her. We knew what was coming.
That is why I was quite confused by my reaction to the news of her death: it wasn't a surprise.
For me, though, I felt the accumulation of all the loss I have had to deal with over the last few years and my own mortality after a car accident I was in were a police officer told me he usually didn't see survivors. I looked at the announcement of her passing and immediately began to lose the understanding of the words I read. I wept.
But I was not alone. Maralynn's presence on this planet was huge. She was more than a wife, mother, friend, teacher. From the moment I met her 6 years ago when I first came to this school I felt like I knew her all my life. I felt that when we sat down next to each other in the staff lounge it would be like we were sitting down next to each other at the dinner table, fireside, or some event or outing. I always felt good when I was around her and I always felt better after seeing her. No matter what.
Walking into my classroom today was up there with one of the hardest things I've had to face and I didn't do it very gracefully. That being said, I have to say that my students are wonderful beings themselves. They are very sympathetic, empathetic and fiercely loyal. I asked them to write their thoughts and memories about Mrs. LB. The following are those comments they wrote:

• I bet Mrs. LB is smiling in heaven and we will always her.
• I remember we once had a gym teacher in [another school]. He was nice, but not like Mrs. LB
• She was always there for us in our troubles.
• She would always let us have a good laugh.
• I'll always remember the afro she had.
• She may be gone, but not to me.
• I've known Mrs. LB since second grade.
• I forgot what her smile is like (sigh)
• I remember how she would always cheer us on if we are having a hard time. Also she would spend time and play with us. I hope she rests in peace.
• I thought Mrs. LB was the sweetest soul in the world.
• When Mrs. LB played with us I could always feel that special place in my heart.
• I'll never forget her.
• When I heard Mrs. LB died, I broke to pieces, but I'll always remember Mrs. LB.
• Mrs. LB always cheered us on. I loved having er as a PE teacher. Her smile is unforgettable.
• Mrs. LB was the most kindest person and most playful person. She is always fun to be around. She will always be missed.
• When I came in fourth grade and met Mrs. LB, [we] got along well. She was fun and cool and I never heard her scream. she was so peaceful and she died in peace. She did not deserve this. We will always love you.
• Sometimes she would play with us and she would make up some new tagging games just for us. She would also play very joyous music and we would dance a lot. [accompanied with a picture of students dancing]
• Cancer may have struck her but she knew what would happen. I'm sure she went down peacefully and with a smile.
• I've known Mrs. LB since kindergarten. I remember in 2nd grade that once when I was sad and my uncle died, she cheered me up and said, "Don't be sad. I'm here!"
• Mrs. LB always was fun and cool. She always took us outside for free time or to play fun games like kickball and she always let us pick what games we wanted to play.
• Mrs. LB never said no to any of our new games. She always let us play and be the kids we are. Mrs. LB loved to see us play and run. She always had us play a new game every day.
• She never said no to us when we were wanting to play a game and she always kept a smile on her face.
• I was her little helper on play day or field day...
• Mrs. LB never yelled and she would stay calm. She let us play any game for a warm up. You could talk to her when you needed help. Most importantly, she was special to us.
• I remember when I was new last year. She took me in as one of her own. We used to always call her Grandma LB. If we had a bad day, she would always find some type of way to cheer us up. I loved her.
• Mrs. LB was a well respected person who everyone that knew her cared for her. Even people who didn't know her cared for her and knew she was a great P.E. teacher.
• Mrs. LB made my experience at [school] a great time. I will never forget how nice a person she was.
• Mrs. LB always cheered us on and she was a great person to know.
• We always used to do gymnastics and with that, we went on the ropes and the "cheese." I always got dizzy on the "cheese"!
• she was caring, playful, and she always made P.E. feel like a home away from home.
• Mrs. LB was the nicest person I have ever known. She was never the mean type.
• Why could a disease like this take such a wonderful person like Mrs. LB?
• Mrs. LB helped me when I was hurt so bad and those stupid doctors couldn't help her when she was hurt.
• She would always play and laugh with us. [accompanied with a picture of the gymnasium]
• Mrs. LB knew how to explain games very nicely so that it looked and sounded fun. And she was always enthusiastic about playing with us. She was fun!
• Mrs. Elby went to heaven. I'm sure she has white wings and a halo.
• Mrs. LB has been here since i was in pre-kindergarten. And for a lot of people, maybe kindergarten or something -- But she'd always put on a smile whenever we went to P.E.
• Mrs. LB was always playful and when we made up a new game, she let us play it right away. Sometimes she even brought music in for us. It was fun with her.

Random Conversation: Selfish Drivers

Car passes us on the right in the shoulder:
Nat: Look at that car! Is that person being mean?
Dad: No. Selfish, perhaps, but not mean. Also dangerous.
Nat: [says like a tongue twister] Selfish shellfish. You know shellfish are not even fish! Selfish?
Dad: You know, selfish, like self, meaning you/yourself and -ish, meaning, like that. It means you only think of yourself.
Nat: Oh, that's what that means. I always wondered about that. I thought it was a kind of fish; a selfish. I thought it was a rude kind of fish and we just called people selfish because they would act like it.

Family Life, 2010: Questions/Comments From Students

Yes, it is that time again. Time to teach fifth graders family life. Call it Sex Education, Lite for 10 year olds. It is a quick survey of a child's journey into puberty and their changing bodies and roles. They didn't have this unit when I was in elementary school, and quite frankly, I'm not sure how I would have reacted to the information that I am required to cover. I must say, though, even though I have taught this unit almost a dozen times, I am still sometimes caught off guard by the knowledge some of the students come in with, misconceptions they have, and questions they ask. Puberty can be an awesome and scary time for kids as I am sure you, the reader, would agree. Strange things happen to your body and quite often they happen without anyone to let you in on the whole process. If you are lucky, you have someone to guide you.
This year is special for me because not only am I a teacher this time around, I am a parent of a fifth grader. All these years I have been presenting this information to kids at school and now it is invading the home front. As the teacher I have plodded through the predictable and unpredictable questions and topics that come up, but it is different when you hear it from your child. It can be quite sobering, if not thought provoking.
And it can be downright quite funny!
So here is another round of questions and comments from students. I am presenting them here because I believe it is important for parents to know what kids are experiencing. The responses here are from the students, written down and handed to the teacher to address where possible. They are anonymously written and screened/answered appropriately according to the guidelines set out by the school system. I am presenting them here with some editorial licence: I am correcting for grammar and spelling where appropriate because I do not wish that to take away from the thoughts and questions they have. This list may be long, but I have also weeded out duplicate or similar responses.
Boys:

1. What is the scrotum?
2. When do men finally finish growing?
3. What does it mean when the penis fills with blood? Will it leave a wet mark or something?
4. I learned that going through puberty is normal.
5. I heard on the news about child abuse where a boy was getting beat with a belt then the child yells, "Child abuse!" then the mother says, "I will give you something to yell about," and kept on spanking him and harder.
6. Where does sperm come from?
7. People say if you get hit in your nuts, you can't have babies!
8. The bladder is made of the foods you eat, right?
9. When does the woman's body stop breast feeding?
10. Is it possible to have three testicles?
11. Do you shave your penis when you're older?
12. Why will we be talking about changes in the bodies of both genders?
13. Does deodorant kill bacteria?
14. Does the man's sperm go through the penis into the woman's body to fertilize the egg?
15. I know that the woman's egg is bigger than the man's sperm.
16. Is there a minimum age to get married?
17. Puberty is when you grow and get hair on your body.
18. Why does pee turn yellow?
19. I learned that you shouldn't embarrass anyone (mostly girls) about what they are going through.
20. If you haven't taken a shower in a couple of months, will you have a lot of acne?
21. If you didn't take care of your body, what would happen?
22. Do some people marry just to not have to take on responsibilities?
23. Can a baby go through puberty?
24. What is the sack underneath your penis and what is in it?
25. Will acne spread?
26. When periods start, will girls be pregnant?
27. What do growth hormones do to your body?
28. How do people get strange thoughts like suicide or they get a sickness just because they take drugs?
29. Does a woman's breasts have milk when they are born?
30. If you squish a testicle, will it break?
31. What age does sperm come out your penis?
32. Can a girl have a penis?
33. What would happen if you drank semen?
34. Is saying someone is fat, is that sexual harassment?
35. Why does the brain send [a signal] to know you're growing up?
36. What are periods?
37. Do girls grow hair on their vagina?
38. How many hormones do you have?
39. I learned there is more to the reproductive system than urine.
40. Can you grow your penis in a different place?
41. What is a wet dream and when does it happen?
42. Can a boy have a period?
43. Why do you get wet dreams?
44. Does acne come more to girls or boys?
45. Can your growth spurt be late?
46. Is it possible to be half boy and half girl?
47. What if you have never had an erection and don't go through puberty until you are 21?
48. How do midgets get so small? Do they stay small or shrink?
49. What color is the semen that comes out of the penis when it gets firm?
50. Do you have puberty when you're 40 and up?
51. Why do we talk about girl stuff when this is a boy class?
52. If the penis is just flesh, what would happen if it was cut off? I mean, would it bleed because we saw the inside of the penis on that video and I didn't see blood.
53. What is a condom?
54. Are the penis and the vagina the same thing?
55. Is it true that for girls, when they get pregnant, they don't have periods?
56. How does hair grow under your armpits?
57. Why are most people going though puberty change at different times?
58. Why do erections happen?
59. Can puberty come at age 8 for boys?
60. Why do we grow hair on our penis?
61. Do men get pregnant?
62. Are we going to learn about virginia? [not edited!]
63. How many growth spurts can one have and how many?
64. Aren't we too young to learn about "sex"?
65. Can you have a small penis when you're an adult?
66. Can a girl sexually harass a boy?
67. What is the difference between humping and sex?
68. Why don't we talk about sex in this class?
69. I learned that a REAL friend has to be TRUSTWORTHY.
70. Why do men tend to go to work and not clean the house or anything?
71. Do animals do the same thing we talked about?
72. How does milk come out of human ladies?
73. Is there a way to alter a child before birth?
74. Why do the hairs on your arms stand up when you are cold? Because I've experienced that like, once or twice.
75. Who were the first human beings in the world? A long time ago, how did people get out babies?
76. Is it possible to have a penis and a vagina?
77. Is it possible for a man to have a vagina?
78. If a man has his penis cut off, how can he use the bathroom?
79. You should not tease a girl about her period.
80. What part of the vagina does the sperm go in to make the egg and get her pregnant?
81. Does the penis have bones?
82. Is it possible for a man to be pregnant?
83. If a boy does not have sperm and he has sex with a girl, will she get pregnant?
84. Do some people grow hair on their penis?
85. Do girls have wet dreams?
86. Do girls grow hair on their vagina?
87. Why can't we talk about condoms?
88. How does a vagina grow?
89. Why are there millions of sperm inside a man's body, but only one ova is sent inside the girl's body?
90. Why can't puberty just happen overnight?
91. If you are having sex with a female who is about to have a baby, do two babies come out?

Wow, and that was with some culling of the cards! Now on to the girl's cards:

1. Who does the baby come from: the boy or the girl?
2. Where does the baby come from? The uterus or the vagina?
3. What is perspiration?
4. If a girl is on her period and she has sex, will she get pregnant?
5. If a tampon gets lost in the vagina, where will it go?
6. How do you know when you're about to have your period?
7. I like pie, do you?
8. Are we going to see what a boy's thing looks like in this class?
9. How do you use a pad?
10. Why do women have a vagina? What do you use it for?
11. Why when you get older boys like girl's boobs and like to stare at butts?
12. What should I do if there is a rapist?
13. What if you ask someone for a dollar or something and he or she says I'll give you a dollar if you let me touch you?
    If you have a friend and she wants to have sex with him, what do we say to that friend?
14. Do boys have a period?
15. What do we do if we really really don't want to see stuff that you show us? Do we have to see it or talk about it?
16. Does it hurt when the baby is growing?
17. I don't get the menstruation part.
18. This is sooo awkward...
19. What if you are a minor and you wanna have sex with a boy that is 25 or something? Is it called rape even if you want it?
20. Do girls have erections?
21. When the penis gets straight when he was next to a girl, does it do that because the mind want the penis to go into the vagina?
22. Why can boys take off their shirts in front of everyone but girls can't? I mean, we all know what we all look like.
23. I am grossed out.
24. Why do you not have bags for throwup?
25. Why does semen mix with sperm?
26. I woke up 2 days ago and I was wet. It was not pee or sweat. I was sticky and wet.
27. Why do we have to know boy stuff?
28. That was plain old nasty. Nasty Nasty Nasty.
29. What triggers the boy to have erections?
30. Do you know the difference of peeing in the bed or having a erection?
31. What happens when you have sex on your period?
32. Do you start to get meaner to others?
33. What if you have your period and you bleed in the pool? What should you do?
34. What age does your period stop?
35. Can your period start at any age?
36. What about panty liners? Are they good to use like pads for the first time?
37. What do boys use to stop wet dreams?
38. How long does your period last?
39. Will you have a period during the night?
40. How long can you leave your pad on your underwear?
41. How does the body happen to make twins?
42. How old do you usually stop your period?
43. What if you are at school and you don't have pads?
44. I am so scared about this.
45. This is so gross!
46. This is weird. ewwww
47. This was an interesting class. I learned something new.
48. I am emotionally scared! Thanks for making that happen!
49. Lalalalalalala hahahaha Happy Day

Well there you go. Did you learn anything? Did anything surprise you? Did anything remind you of when you went through puberty? Did anything make you wince, laugh, cry? I'd love to hear what experiences you might have to share!