Family Life, Continued...

Note: This post is the second installment of questions from 5th graders taking the Family Life unit. I am presenting this material because I believe it is important to understand what our kids know, don't know, and wonder about. These are actual questions and comments that they have written down on note cards during the unit. While many of these responses are amusing on the surface, they must highlight the seriousness and importance of giving children the appropriate information according to their age and needs in order to make healthy and informed choices. It is also informational for us as adults, too. Several pop culture terms have surfaced that have taken us by surprise. The previous Family Life posting referenced the term ski. This posting will reveal another term that to unsuspecting parents/adults may find a bit disturbing when I explain its meaning. Some of the information in this post may contain explicit language. Be forewarned.
This brings me to another point. How do I address these questions to the kids? That is a good question. First, I must say that I am practiced in the Art of the Straight Face. That is not to say that I don't loose it once in a while when I get a question that is unbelievably bizarre, but for the most part, what the kids write is fairly routine. Most of it I can handle or deflect. When it comes to questions regarding the act of sex, family planning issues, or other taboo subjects, I calmly acknowledge the question and tell them that it might be better if they get that information from their family, doctor, or (insert appropriate person). Once in a while there is a question that is disturbing, to which I have resources to draw upon. I will not be addressing how I have answered any of these questions here directly, sorry. Again, in MOST cases, I will edit these questions only for clarity. I do not want these postings to be more about spelling and grammar, however there will be a few places where I leave the spelling as it is because, well, you'll see.
Enjoy! These are from the boys:

1. Why do you throw up when you get hit in the penis?
2. Is it possible for a woman to get a mustache?
3. What if you tell an adult if you're touched on your private parts and they adults don't believe you?
4. What is semen?
5. When you go through changes, will we get mad sometimes?
6. Will the hair go away when we get older?
7. What happens when a girl gets sexually excited?
8. What does beating your meat mean?
9. When semen hits the surface, doesn't it get hard? Because when ski hits the ground, someone said it hardens. <-----Editor's note and explicit warning! Here's is an eye-opener! In reference to yesterday's comment about semen being called ski, again we were wondering what this one meant about semen hardening. Thanks to an astute staff member, we found out there is a Soulja Boy song called Crank Dat Dance, where a certain term is used: Superman that hoe. Here are part of the lyrics: Soulja Boy Off In This Hoe/Watch me Crank ItWatch me Roll/Watch me Crank Dat Soulja Boy/Then Super Man Dat Hoe. So what does this have to do with semen, or ski, hardening? This is the connection: Apparently, Super man is a verb and this action is to fuck a passed out female from behind, pull out and come on her back, and use it to paste a sheet on her back so that when she wakes up, she has a superhero "cape" on her back. Did you know this? I didn't.
10. Which part of the body creates sweat?
11. Why do girls grow earlier than boys?
12. When you are kicked in you penis, why does it make you want to throw up?
13. When you have sex, how do you know if it's a boy or a girl. <-----Editor's note: I just read a funny posting about Senetor Al Franken. In it, Al is going on a date and his dad figures he needs to tell him about the birds and the bees. When he gets to the part of the female anatomy, Al looks at his dad in surprise and says (and I may be paraphrasing), "What? Girls don't have penises?" Of course, his father became distressed, and of course, Al was just joking.
14. When you have sex, do you get sex diseases?
15. Do girl's vaginas have hair?
16. How does sperm come out when you have sex?
17. Do we have sperm in us now?
18. Why do girls have breasts?
19. When you see something exciting and your balls/penis gets big, is it called horny?
20. When you are kicked in the balls, do the testes hurt?
21. Can an egg get to a lady anytime or is there a certain time?
22. Does puberty start mostly early or mostly late?
23. I thought kidneys cleaned the pubic area.
24. Is another name for panty liners a thong?
25. What is the difference between a training bra and bra?
26. Doesn't having sex with girls with HIV or AIDS give you their disease?
27. How do you ejaculate the sperm?
28. When a girl first has her period, if she uses a tampon, can she die?
29. Why do we go through puberty?
30. Do we go through puberty when we are adults?
31. One time my mom told me that one woman on the radio kissed another woman on the cheek. That was weird!
32. Do animals go through puberty?
33. Does your penis stay bigger after an erection?
34. Is there an egg that comes from both ovaries? (I think he meant do both ovaries send out an egg at the same time)
35. Why does blood come to the penis and make it harden?
36. Why do we have sex?
37. Is there any type of protective gear for when you have sex? 'cause I've heard of condums.
38. Does it hurt a girl when she gets hit in the vagina?
39. Does it hurt a girl if you stick your dick in the vagina?
40. If the Tampax gets stuck, will she die?
41. This one is unedited: If the penus is in a girl's butt, is it true [that afterwards] she gets loose vowels, which is she has to doo doo?

These are from the girls:

1. Is it true that you need to have sex to have babies?
2. What if you caught someone having sex, like your parents or someone and they didn't know. What do you do? (but it never happened to me).
3. What do you do if someone is abusing you?
4. Are we talking about body parts or sex?
5. What is it called if a boy or girl takes a pic then sends it to a boy or girl?
6. This class is so new to me. It feels weird.
7. Why can't you legally say things?
8. If you are a girl and change your sex to a guy, do you still have periods?
9. Why does the girl get periods?
10. PS: I don't have mine yet.
11. My mom told me before I had my, you know what. She said to me if I have sex, I would probably get, you know, so I knew about this because my mom told me.
12. Do people feel weird or embarrassed when they get their purpety?
13. What are some other ways U know that U have U're period?
14. Do tampons feel like pills for yeast?
15. Can you feel blood going through your system?
16. Do you have to start your period to have to be pregnant?
17. If I have my period during school, can I come to U 4a pad?
18. If I have my period on the pool party, can you help me with my tampon? If not, what should I do? (don't say my name if they ask)
19. How long would puberty really last?
20. Do you get cramps be4 your period gets there?
21. What is estrogen?
22. How [does] the pad get thin and longer?
23. Why do boy's penises point more?
24. If you get your period for the first time, how do you keep track of if you have a light, regular, or extra blood flow?
25. What if a girl starts the period at elementary school and the school didn't have pads?
26. What if a girl started the period at home and they ran out of pads and it was too dark to buy pads until the next day?
27. How do you deal with your period when it is unregular and you don't know when it's coming.
28. What should be the first kind of pad we get?
29. What age did you get your period?
30. When you first start getting your period, how would you know which pad size to get?
31. How does puberty happen?
32. How does your period happen?
33. What age would be safe to wear a tampon?
34. When you get your period, does it hurt a lot?
35. Why can't girls and boys be friends without people thinking you're going out?
36. Do you have to sleep with a pad on?
37. If a woman has a hysterectomy, can she still have a baby?
38. If you never have a period, what will happen?
39. Can you get affected by wearing a pad too long?
40. Who made or discovered sex?
41. What if your period lasts 1 day?
42. What if a boy knows that you have "P", what should you do?
43. When you wear a tampon, do you have a string hanging out of your vagina all day?
44. What if you are at school about in high school and you're taking a test and you have your period and you can't leave the room to change? What do you do?
45. When did you first get your period and at what age? When did you know about periods and puberty, and was it disgusting?
46. Can boys get periods?
47. How do you know when your blood comes out from your thing?
48. Why is penis so funnier than sex?
49. What age can a doctor stop looking at your you know what?
50. Isn't there something else that young girls have before they have a period? What is that called?
51. What if you start having your period and if you want to go to the nurse and your teacher is a guy, will they understand what we are going through and not freak OUT!!!
52. Why is the guys penis pointier than the women's?
53. Are discharges kind of like periods?
54. Why do men care about women's bodies so much?
55. When a boy gets erections, how long do they last? Are they like periods and do they come back? Does it hurt when a boy gets erections?
56. Is it possible for males to have babies?
57. If a [boy] loses his penis, what will happen?
58. Do boys have something like a period to show that they are going through puberty?
59. how does the boy's penis get an erection?
60. When you're pregnant, how long does it take for your body to find out your pregnant and start having symptoms?
61. Can you shave the hair on your private parts, or you just let it keep growing?
62. What is labia and tubes?
63. How do the boys get pads?
64. Exactly what is sperm?
65. The first time I get my period, will it be a heavy flow?
66. What do you mean it hardens? (the penis)
67. Do all boys have wet dreams?
68. What does erection mean? I don't understand it.
69. How exactly does an egg and sperm meet?
70. An ejaculation is when sperm comes out of the boy's penis, or is it when the penis hardens?
71. Do you still have your period when you get preg?
72. Do you get preg. every time you have sex?
73. We have thousands of eggs, right? Does that mean when all the eggs are done, [we are] done with having our period?
74. So when the egg cracks, does it mean you're having your you know?
75. Do boys grow hair on their penis?
76. If a male and a female have sex but with a condom, is there still a chance of her still getting pregnant? What does a condom look like?
77. What is the youngest age anyone has had their period?
78. What age do you start your period? (usually)
79. If you're on your period and having sex, what will happen to a girl when you're in high school?
80. Are women the only human group to have babies?